To defer my Summer born daughter’s school start date?

[ThornAmongstRoses]

I have a daughter who should be starting school next September but she will have only turned 4 about a week before the start date.

For the last few months I have seriously been thinking about delaying her starting until the following year when she will have just turned 5.

I have done so much reading up around the subject and it’s quite clear that statistically (because I know there will always be exceptions) starting school after just turning 4 can be very detrimental to their education and achievements through their schooling compared to Autumn, Winter and Spring borns.

My husband is a teacher and is absolutely on board with the deferral.

I mentioned it to my brother a few days ago as his child is summer born (a year behind mine) and he totally laughed me off.

He said it was a pointless thing to do and if the younger kids struggle then it’s down to the parents to do more at home with them.

It was a bit of a black and white attitude I thought.

I told him that if it was as simple as doing some work at home to get the Summer borns to the same level as their peers, then there wouldn’t be so much information out there about the disparities between Summer borns and other children.

I’m not being unreasonable to consider this though am I?

I do understand there will always be exceptions and there will be many stories abouthigh achieving Summer born children, but that doesn’t detract from the fact that overall, Summer Born children do fare worse at school if they start when they have just turned four years old.

My brother has made me doubt myself

I don't think it's that straight forward to refer you need valid reasons or she will miss reception sbd head straight to year 1.

Reception is like play school!

My son is August ahd he is thriving!!

She won't be the only summer born child

I don't think it's that straight forward to refer you need valid reasons or she will miss reception sbd head straight to year 1.

Thankfully the school have told me that they would never encourage a child to miss reception and wouldn’t put a deferred child into Year 1.

The Head of Early Years education (also the deputy head) said that when it comes to the LEA having an opinion, if they want the child to go into Year 1 they have to write a statement as to why their think it’s in the child’s best interests to miss Reception and I’m not sure how that could be justified, especially as the importance if Reception is now recognised in terms of helping the transition into formal education.

My DD is mid august and she was tiny

She's been fine (passed 11+ etc). The one thing I would say is that she would have absolutely HATED being 'out of year'.

She detests feeling like the odd one out/conspicuous.... on holiday one year in France aged about 6 she had a meltdown walking across a car park as it had lots of foreign cars in it. She said we shouldn't be there as we were British and didn't fit in. I went round and found her lots of British number plates to make her feel better!!

I'm pretty sure it would have given her a big chip on her shoulder like she wasn't 'good enough' to be in the higher year.

However, each child to their own and I'm sure you'll come to the right decision.

Like some previous posters, I delayed my July born son who is now in Y2. I applied directly to the academies we were interested in. He continued to get 30 hours in nursery, began reception class and will remain with his cohort throughout primary and secondary.
Personally I cannot see any downside to deferral especially when the research evidence overwhelmingly supports the correlation between learning outcomes in primary and age. Why rush kids through life hoping that they will cope? The new English national curriculum is very challenging for little kids (some might say developmentally inappropriate). When I asked one Head Teacher to give me a downside to deferral, she couldn't, which says it all really. I believe that this will become a more and more popular choice in the years ahead. Ime parents do everything they can for their children, including this!

Thank you for that post desperately - it sums up pretty much exactly how I’m feeling.

All parents want the best outcomes for their children, and if we can do something to help them meet their potential as opposed to just coping, then why wouldn’t we if we felt it was something our child would benefit from?

I should be hearing back from the Head Teacher today regarding the email I sent her about our intentions - I feel a bit apprehensive about what she’s going to say but we shall we.

As the mum of a late August child, I wouldn't do this. I didn't want to pay another year of childcare, so would never defer.

My never had any issues with maturity...she went to private nursery before school and was used to a full day.

She was never behind academically.....she's 18 now and was in the top 5% all the time.

She got 3 A* in her A levels this year and is in a RG University. Deterring her would have been a set back, but every child is different.

I knew my DD was ready for school when she went.

Sandy - thankfully children are entitled to 30 hours free until they reach 5 years old, so deferring has no impact on childcare.

I do understand what you’re saying about knowing your child was ready for school but I’m in the process of applying now and it’s still 10 months before he would even start school - it’s hard to know if he’ll be ready to do something 10 months in advance.

That’s why it’s such a hard decision to make. It feel like I have to make a decision and then it’s just pot luck whether it turns out to be the right one or not.

I have read about the first 10 pages and all of OPs posts, so I apologise in advance if this has been covered already...

OP, it sounds like you your DS is doing well, and you don't have particular concerns about him not being ready for school other than what the research says. My DS was a September born and the oldest in his year. He was at a supposedly 'outstanding' primary, but they did nothing that would stretch more able children and were dowgraded to 'good' whilst he was there. There were quite a few struggling children in his class and lessons were pitched at quite a low level. He was therefore bored stiff in primary school and hated it. The reason I am posting this is that if your DS is already doing well for his age, which it sounds like he is, could you find out what the school does to stretch the more able children? It's just that if he turns out to be ahead academically for the year group he is in, particularly if you defer, are they going to give him work that is appropriate to his level? Just something else to consider.

The reason I am posting this is that if your DS is already doing well for his age, which it sounds like he is, could you find out what the school does to stretch the more able children? It's just that if he turns out to be ahead academically for the year group he is in, particularly if you defer, are they going to give him work that is appropriate to his level? Just something else to consider.

My older son is very clever and goes up to the year above for his maths lessons and some of his English. I know there are some other children who do the same.

When I spoke to the Deputy Head she said if I delay his start and then when he starts he is considered more academically able then the other children then they will just move him up to Year 1.

To be honest I think this is why I’m more leaning to delaying him because I know that even if he is ‘bored’ - to use a term other posters have used - the option is always there for him to be moved up.

Whereas if I don’t delay him, and he struggles, then that’s it and there’s nothing that can be done.

Bloody parenting decisions!!!

But if he’s moved up to YR1 and misses out on reception surely that would be the worst outcome or have I misunderstood?

Well they didn’t specifically say “we’d move him up a year” - so I took that to assume he’d go into year 1. But seeing as they later said they really value the importance of reception you’re probably right and they just move him from reception to Year 2, or from year 1 to Year 3 - I suppose it’s a decision to be made about children individually as opposed to a blanket rule as to when they will do it.

My son is in Year 2 and there is a girl in his class who went there straight from reception.

I suppose they will move a child up a year when they think it’s the best time for that child, if they think it’s something they think will benefit the child.

The fact that it’s a possibility does make me feel better though.

That assumes the class numbers are flexible. In England infant class sizes are maximum 30 so this would not be possible in many a popular school. If they have combined year classes ie. Year 1/2 there is more opportunity to work with those technically year above without affecting class size or actual year group of child.

There are 24 children in my son’s class and there were 23 in it last year, so quite small classes compared to some I imagine?

You need to think carefully about how you will use the year if you do defer. In your position I would make the Reception application now, on the understanding that you can make your decision around offer day in the spring, but also start to make a plan for what you will do if you defer because it would, in my opinion, be a mistake to keep him in his existing domestic childcare setting with no other changes.

Ideally you need to find a pre-school type setting or nursery with a pre-school room which he can attend regularly, five mornings a week if at all possible, with your childminder supporting for wraparound where necessary - even if this is not the most cost-effective way for you to use your thirty hours for the year.

Lots of PP have referred to other countries where children start school later than in the UK, and they are right, but what all of these countries have in common is a system of excellent pre-school early years education. You mention that your older child was fine not attending pre-school, and of course it isn't essential for all children, but if you have enough specific concerns about school readiness to defer a full year then it would follow that you should consider supporting your younger child in this transition with a different approach.

Utter rubbish I was an end of August baby. Never did any harm. Passed all exams with c and above grades. My November born brother failed almost all. Highest grade was a D. Missing that year will impact her education far more. Not to mention the other children will have formed friendship groups. She will then struggle to fit I as the new kid.

Missing that year will impact her education far more.

See the multiple posts from the OP patiently explaining that her DC would start in R the following year, not Y1.

@FortniteBoysMum

Utter rubbish I was an end of August baby. Never did any harm. Passed all exams with c and above grades. My November born brother failed almost all. Highest grade was a D. Missing that year will impact her education far more. Not to mention the other children will have formed friendship groups. She will then struggle to fit I as the new kid.

How will it? Nobody has been able to explain this. What’s this massive negative impact that being a year older, a year more mature and a year more physically dexterous will have?

@EssentialHummus

Missing that year will impact her education far more.

See the multiple posts from the OP patiently explaining that her DC would start in R the following year, not Y1.

But OP has said they may skip a year later on: “But seeing as they later said they really value the importance of reception you’re probably right and they just move him from reception to Year 2, or from year 1 to Year 3“

Surely missing any year is a bad idea?

Great advice @PlumsInTheIcebox I would apply for a place in 2021 so its there if you need it.
You may realise next spring/summer your child is ready for school, particularly as they have an older sibling.

If you do decide to decelerate (I think that’s the term advised, not defer) i agree a preschool setting will help in terms of feeling ready for school - I’ve heard from lots of teachers that being in a preschool/nursery environment really helps with settling into school.

After lots of discussion with my husband, including talking about the replies that I’ve had on this thread, we have decided to put our son in two pre-school sessions a week.

I’m going to have to ask his childminder if we can split the 30 hours funding between her and pre-school and see how it goes: 20 hours with her and 10 with pre-school.

Part of me still thinks that delaying his start is really worth considering, but another part of me thinks we should just give him a chance over the next 6 months, (I.e seeing how he responds to pre-school) and then make our final decision in April.

So thank you everyone for your input.

Sounds like a very sensible approach to it - although still confused if it is a son or daughter!

It is definitely worth considering and indeed I suspect that is where it could end up but this way you have all the information you need to make the right choice

He’s a boy - I had changed his sex purely for some anonymity but another poster outed me.

Anyhow...

I think part of my problem is that I’m comparing him to his big brother, I guess that’s normal with siblings though?

My eldest was fluent in his alphabet (and recognising letters) by the time he was just over two, and could even say it backwards before his 3rd birthday He used to walk round the neighbourhood when he was 2.5 years old reading our all the car registration plates

So I keep looking at my youngest son and thinking that because he can’t do that then he’s going to struggle.

But on the flip side my 3 year old is completely toilet trained and has been since a few months before his 3rd birthday, which was far earlier than my eldest son. My 3 year old talks really well too, you can have complete conversations with him and again, I don’t recall my eldest son having such good vocal skills at that age.

I have spoken to the reception teacher who taught my eldest son, and told her my worries, and she told me that I have to stop comparing the two boys and that my youngest son is probably on par with a lot of other 3 year olds, regardless of when all their birthdays are. I imagine I’m not the only parent guilty of comparing their children against each other though.

My husband is still quite keen on deferral because of his own experiences, so we still haven’t made a definite decision.

I’m hoping his time at pre-school will help make things clearer for us.

Good luck OP. I remember the anxiety over it- it’s horrible thing to have to decide. Hopefully over the next couple of months things will be clearer for you