To defer my Summer born daughter’s school start date?

[ThornAmongstRoses]

I have a daughter who should be starting school next September but she will have only turned 4 about a week before the start date.

For the last few months I have seriously been thinking about delaying her starting until the following year when she will have just turned 5.

I have done so much reading up around the subject and it’s quite clear that statistically (because I know there will always be exceptions) starting school after just turning 4 can be very detrimental to their education and achievements through their schooling compared to Autumn, Winter and Spring borns.

My husband is a teacher and is absolutely on board with the deferral.

I mentioned it to my brother a few days ago as his child is summer born (a year behind mine) and he totally laughed me off.

He said it was a pointless thing to do and if the younger kids struggle then it’s down to the parents to do more at home with them.

It was a bit of a black and white attitude I thought.

I told him that if it was as simple as doing some work at home to get the Summer borns to the same level as their peers, then there wouldn’t be so much information out there about the disparities between Summer borns and other children.

I’m not being unreasonable to consider this though am I?

I do understand there will always be exceptions and there will be many stories abouthigh achieving Summer born children, but that doesn’t detract from the fact that overall, Summer Born children do fare worse at school if they start when they have just turned four years old.

My brother has made me doubt myself

You might want to check with a secondary school or two.

The most popular one round here will prioritise children who are the correct age for the yeargroup

It 100% depends on the child. Never did me harm, I ended up with one of the best exam results at gcse and a-levels in my year group. I feel it may have helped me secure social skills a little better and maybe I would have been better at sporting activities a year later but that's it.

The one thing I would say is that these threads always seem to proceed as if the summer-born child will be the only one in a class of September birthdays. That wasn't my experience, and it isn't statistically likely. There may be a big difference between them and the oldest child in the class but the difference between them and the other children born between May and August - which should be roughly a third of the class - will be much less pronounced/non-existent.

Hi OP
I had a similar situation (DC was born end of July), we were very keen to defer. There are several facebook pages for parents who defer. One is called “parents of summerborn children” I think.

We told thr school we wanted to defer and they were on board, but also offered that DC could start part-time. Compulsory school age is 5, so she doesn’t have to be in education before then. We agreed on half days initially and gradually increased her hours. She only went full time by March. Not sure that’s an option for you, you should discuss with the school.

I kept DS in the school nursery until the January as he is a summer born. He only did 2 terms of reception but I think it was better for him.

There's no downside to deferring her. There's only potential upside. If you put her in and it doesn't work you'll be stuck. Formal education starts early in this country. To me it's more of a question of why wouldn't you defer. The data is very clear that most summer borns underperform their peers and it's simply not pleasant for them to struggle. Your brother made a different decision that he feels he needs to justify to himself. I'd take no notice of someone who has no interest in the data or why you might make a different decision.

If she does start in reception she is going to be a whole year older

Of course she won’t.

She will be 2 weeks older than the ones who turn 5 in September.

Or 6 weeks older than the ones who turn 5 in September.

Or 10 weeks older than the ones who turn 5 in October.

She will only be a “whole year older” than the children who are Summer born.

I think you should judge on the basis of your own child. My end-of-August born dd was grown-up for her age at 4, both mentally and socially, and was raring to go to school. I was glad she wasn't born a few days later, putting her in the year below. She's now in her GCSE year and predicted high grades across the board.

My August born daughter started school nursery a few weeks ago age just turned 3.

I had many reasons to not send her to school nursery and potentially even defer reception. But I decided to bite the bullet and send her.

She wasn't talking properly. Not toilet trained. Not much under her belt in terms of actual learning. Had obvious struggles but no support due to covid and not being in a nursery setting.

I was very nervous but it was absolutely the best decision we made.

School have picked up on learning difficulties that have been reported already and will be assessed very soon. An ehcp is in progress and they are working hard on ensuring she will be ready for reception next year when she will be just turned 4 and still the baby of the class.

Had I not sent her she would be starting reception older and still very unaware of what was going on and no experience of nursery.

There's absolutely no reason why they cannot thrive and get used to it. But holding them back is year purely just for the sake of their age, in my opinion, does nothing for them.

Reception is a great year it's mostly learning through play and they learn so many vital skills that prepare them for the rest of their school life. It's a good foundation for them to get ready for properly learning. I don't understand how a child can enter year 1 and meet their expectations when they haven't been in reception and learned the basics.

You've not said anything about your child, and that is the real question!

My DD (mid August) was youngest in her class last year. Physically it wasn't obvious - she was winning races at sports day the previous year and was never the smallest in height, varied around the middle depending on who had had a growth spurt recently... Academically she was doing fine, reached most expectations by the end of March.

Did have some big tantrums, but I suspect those weren't age related, but attempts at finding the boundaries of acceptable behaviour.

However she has always been confident to the point of cockiness around other people - picture a tiny (9th centile) 15mo shoving past 3 year olds at toddler groups so I very much did not want her to be the oldest in her year, she was bossy enough around older children.

Circumstances meant we moved to Scotland where she is in P1 (4.5 to 5.5 at start of year) and about mid year, which seems to suit her well, although she does a fair amount of work with the P2s (composite class).

If my DS were in a similar position (he's not, November birthday so nowhere near cut off in either system) I'd have been much more likely to defer him because he's a much less forceful personality...

Horses for courses!

I think you need a reason to defer for the LA to consider it in my area (social/emotional/physical). Do you think your daughter would struggle more than any other August child and would you be able to make a case for it?
I have an 11 year old born in August and deferring wasn't an option when she started reception. I definitely felt that she would have benefited from another 6 months at preschool socially and emotionally (tiredness etc) but it wasn't an option at the time. I'm not sure if I would have done it or not. She's very bright so it might not have worked in her favour (e.g. highest mock SATs maths score in her class) but we didn't know that when she was 3.

I think it really does depend on the child, not just their date of birth.

My eldest was one of the oldest, my youngest one of the youngest in their years. My youngest was far more ready for school than my eldest was.

How independent is your DD?
How sociable is your DD?
Does she appear bright, or do you have reason to believe she might struggle academically?
Have you discussed it with her nursery staff at all?

My DD was end of JUly. She flew at school, loved learning and looked forward to going every day. She had only been to the school nursery for the previous year, 3 hours each morning, so wasn't used to full nursery days or anything.

There is a huge difference between just 3 and just 4. Dd is end August, was academically strong within her cohort but less so physically and emotionally, If you are considering it be clear why and how her education will prigress if "out of year".

I wouldn’t hesitate to start at CSA and was going to do this with my July born DS so he started at 5 anyway. We start school much to young here. You sound like you know your stuff so I imagine you’re already a member but do joint the flexible school admissions for summerborns Facebook group if you’re not on it already!

You've not said anything about your child, and that is the real question!

What do you want to know?

For us the decision was based on the fact that her peers/friends at nursery would all be staying on whilst she went to school with the 'bigger' kids as it were. She's little for her age which maybe shouldn't matter but she would have been the tiniest and the youngest and it just didn't feel right.

I actually think it might matter quite a lot. I was always very tall for my age and I really think that had a big impact of my experience of being one of the youngest in the class - on the one hand I didn't stand out as the 'little one' (I think this makes a particularly big difference in sports), on the other hand I think it (and the fact I was academically able) meant teachers forgot that I was younger and I didn't get the understanding I might have done if I were the 'little one' when, for instance, I was struggling socially. DS is only two now but he's always been 95 centile in height so it's not unlikely he'll be the same and it's definitely part of my consideration of what his experience might be like being a July baby at school - I already find that he gets cut a lot less slack than friends with toddlers the same age or even a bit older who are small for their age if, for instance, they're playing rough because they're 'babies' but he is expected to know that he's bigger than them and moderate his behaviour accordingly.

I think you need a reason to defer for the LA to consider it in my area (social/emotional/physical). Do you think your daughter would struggle more than any other August child and would you be able to make a case for it?

It used to be the case that you could only request deferral if there were learning needs or special health needs that meant the child wouldn’t be able to manage schooling at just turned 4.

However, now there is so much research and knowledge out there regarding the impact being summer born can have on education, the Department of Education now say that being Summer Born is enough of a reason on its own to warrant a deferral request.

In Ireland we can send them any time up to age 6, and while most start between 4.5 and 5.5, ime very few parents send summer born 4 year olds. Imo as parents we give our dc every advantage that we can, and in most cases that extra year of maturity, physically, socially and emotionally, is a huge advantage, and as you say, the research backs that up.

I think this is quite a short sighted thing to do, tbh.

A summer born kid might have a harder time to start with (and maybe not, if you prep properly, reading, manual dexterity, fine motor skills, managing own clothing etc) but that generally evens out after a year or so.

On the other hand, being the kid in yr7 who was "held back" a year can be a pretty tough stigma to shake, in my experience. It also means that he'll be drinking and driving before all of his peers, and won't have anyone to share those experiences with. It will put him in an awkward position in terms of teams and age groups for competitive thought, and he won't get to go to uni until he's 19.

You need to make the right call for his whole education, not just this first year. I'd recommend just really stepping up the effort you put in at home to get him ready for school, and sending him with his peer group.

It's no harm in considering it! I think every child is different and what may work for one child, might not work for another.

My DD was born in late August and had just turned 4 when she started in Yr R. She was more than ready for school when she started. I was one of the youngest in my school year, but I was/am pretty academic (and got good grades through school), so I was lucky not to have any problems. My DS (September born) would have been ready for school a year before he started..but again, that's just him. His life-long best mate (they were in nursery and primary school together and are now at the same secondary school) is August born and was ready to start school when he did.

Why not talk to nursery and the schools that you're considering and get some ideas from them too?

My SIL had my nephew (also August born) attend Yr R part time (so mornings only) for the first term, then stretched it out to full days by the summer term of Yr R. That worked well for them (and obvs they had the finances to support a parent staying at home to cover this). You know your daughter better than any of us, why not have a chat with the LEA/head teacher etc and see what can be done?

I've said yanbu - it is your child, you know him the best.

I could look at it the other way for you - my DD is early September born, so old in her year (as your kid will be, if they defer a year). She is often gets fed up of how immature the other kids in her Class are. She gets on very well with older children and I often think it would have been better if she could have skipped a year. At school she is bored by the work every year, and i suspect she underperforms versus what she is capable of, because she switches off when she isnt stretched.

But, I can't say for sure she would have been happier in the year above. She might have struggled dreadfully. One of her good friends is a year older than her, and one is a year younger.

Make your decision, be happy and confident in it, never second guess yourself. You cannot know for sure what the best outcome would be for him, so just do what feels right now and then make the most of it.

As other PPs have raised - do research/consider the possibility of being out of year for the whole of their school life. Not all secondaries allow this so she may have to miss a year of schooling at some point to catch up with her peers.

I have done so much reading up around the subject and it’s quite clear that statistically (because I know there will always be exceptions) starting school after just turning 4 can be very detrimental to their education and achievements through their schooling compared to Autumn, Winter and Spring borns.

Not saying this is incorrect as I haven’t read anything specific to this but it does surprise me. I’m in another country/school system but we obviously have the same challenge with the ones more towards the cusp. The research associated with our system (which I am familiar with) is that irrespective of age at school start they all equal out academically, with age no longer becoming a factor, by end of Year 3 and they then start to sit according to ability as opposed to age. So basically, yes, big difference in educational outcomes at the start due to age but after a few years this gap disappears. I’m just surprised there seems to be such a difference between school systems in this regard.

I will say though that in our system the teachers are not fans of the younger kids. Makes it much harder for them to teach the class with such a large development gap between the older and younger students which is quite obvious at that age. The older ones are easier for them to manage and teach at school entry. I have had a few go through and with my young one I was literally dragged into the classroom every day for their first year to listen to how difficult they were. Of course they grew out of it, went on to be a poster child for studies showing my that they caught up with the other kids after a few years and in fact, due to natural ability, then went on to outdo everyone else by end of schooling and got a place in an extremely competitive and challenging university degree. My others were miles ahead in first year at school but bloody hell, nowhere near this one in regards to achievement when they finished school.

My brother and I are both August born. Both always in top sets at school. I don't understand deferring due to being August born. In my DC's school it was a lot of the older ones September/October born that struggled to settle in and were in the lower groups.

I am another one that says it is different for every child. DS is August born, socially he was ready for school, he wasn’t as ready to sit and learn, but reception is play focussed, he was happy. Transpires he is dyslexic.

My sister has August born twins, but they were premature. She is think8n* about deferring them, and I think for them it makes sense,