To feel violated by a smear test?

[Jericoo]

I had a smear test for the first time today. Although I understand the importance and had thoroughly researched the procedure, I cannot sleep at the moment as I feel so violated.

The doctor was wonderful, answered all of my questions and she took things slowly as she knew I was nervous. Does the feeling of being violated go away? It wasn't painful or even that embarrassing in the end, but the feeling of having something shoved in your hoo-ha by someone you've just met is not pleasant.

I am worried this will become a complex and I will avoid having it done again in 3 years as the way I feel now is so horrid, I am in tears. I know someone who had to have a hysterectomy at 30 because of cervical cancer, so it's very important to me to not develop a fear of this.

Does anyone have any tips on how to overcome the feeling of violation?

I agree that you consent to the procedure and therefore it isn’t rape... it is still a violating experience and very invasive. The fact is if you are ill you are keen for treatment, for screening it’s not common people want a smear but choose to do it to catch problems early. This is a responsible approach to treatment but I feel the pressure put on women to have smears does impact your freedom to choose. If they could find a less invasive procedure uptake would be significantly higher. They have been talking about an alternative for years and if it were a male problem, this would have been developed and rolled out by now. I have chosen not to have smears for a while now and I hope that an alternative is brought out soon.

You could get a self sampling kit, they are about £50. They only test for HPV not abnormal cells, but I believe that is all the NHS smear tests for as well these days.

But there is nothing wrong with smear tests apart from for all the people for whom they are difficult, or painful, or upsetting.

Denying the reality for some people isn't helpful.

I feel the pressure put on women to have smears does impact your freedom to choose.

It doesn’t. None of the procedures people imagine to be compulsory (vaccinations, smears, smoking tests/blood tests during pregnancy) are anything other than entirely at the patient’s discretion.

You asked for tips to help you overcome your feelings and here's mine.

I don't like having smear tests or any other invasive bodily treatments but I manage my feelings by the way I think about them and the language I frame them in. So for example, I'd reframe the smear test as an unpleasant and invasive procedure that I go through in order to avoid something much worse. I regard is as a necessary part of looking after myself and something that responsible adult women do. I think using the word 'violated' automatically sets off a set of feelings that aren't helpful in this situation. This is a procedure that thousands of women went through on the day you had your smear. It's normal, it's necessary. You've said the procedure was carried out sensitively, which is great. Things have improved a lot since I had my first smear.

Millions of European and American women go voluntarily to their gynaecologist every six months to have their reproductive/ sexual health routinely checked and are shocked at how rarely British women are tested or examined. They regard a visit to the gynaecologist office as being like a visit to the dentist. Maybe we have something to learn from them. Does that help put it into perspective?

They can't bring in urine testing fast enough, i.m.o. I believe it's possible, not sure why it's not widely used.

Haven't read the full thread, but key for me was finding a practice nurse I trusted at the local surgery. She also lets me put the speculum thingie in myself!

OP, it's normal to feel a bit uncomfortable or even a little traumatised by what happened. But I'd agree with other posters saying to try not to overthink it. In my experience after a D&C done with local anaesthetic (hahah didn't seem to anaesthetise anything) which was a million times worse, more painful, and much much longer than a smear, I only felt violated for a day or two, then it faded. But I remember literally using that language to my DH and DM to describe how I felt - 'violated'.

So try not to dwell on the feeling and just accept you've had a medical instrument shoved up your hoo-ha, of course you feel violated, it's normal. Have a cry if it helps. Then do something to distract yourself and move on.

I've had five or 6 smears, as well as various other gynaecological examinations, and a baby with all that entails. Usually I feel fine afterward. Just once, when I had a colposcopy (not even my first colposcopy) and then a biopsy, I felt similar to how you're feeling, OP. The nurses and the gynaecologist were lovely, fully respectful of my boundaries and privacy, kind and gentle; and the procedure was less painful and unpleasant than other previous procedures - and yet I really did feel violated afterwards. No history of sexual assault either. I had a LLETZ procedure with the same nursing team a monht later, and felt fine (mentally at least) afterwards, so I relaly can't explain it at all.

The feeling did pass though - maybe after a week or ten days. Hopefully you'll be feeling ok again soon.

So for example, I'd reframe the smear test as an unpleasant and invasive procedure that I go through in order to avoid something much worse. I regard is as a necessary part of looking after myself and something that responsible adult women do. I think using the word 'violated' automatically sets off a set of feelings that aren't helpful in this situation. This is a procedure that thousands of women went through on the day you had your smear. It's normal, it's necessary.

Fair enough that this helps you. But I would reframe it as a very quick, slightly unpleasant procedure that I can choose to go through or not. I wouldn’t admit any coercive thoughts about it being necessary. It isn’t. We can either take the risk of getting cancer, or not.

@TheYearOfSmallThings

A smear takes what, 2ish minutes? So maybe next time, focus on your breathing and close your eyes and count to 100 in your head. It will be over before you reach that. Promise ❤️

I really worry about this sort of advice. I went skipping in for my first smear test (many years ago) expecting it to be quick and no more painful or invasive than a dental procedure. Instead it took well over 2 minutes, was really quite painful, and if I were trying to count to 100 I would have been repeatedly interrupted by tutting and sighing from the nurse, because apparently my cervix was trying to escape up toward my left kidney, and I needed to contort sideways to let her at it.

I have never shirked a smear (yet) but for many of us they are VERY unpleasant, and focusing on our breathing really does not help much.

Sorry to hear you had a bad experience @TheYearOfSmallThings. However "worrying" about "this sort of advice" is IMO a bit of an overreaction. I get that for you, your experience meant that it lasted longer because clearly there was a reason, however, for most women it is over very quickly.

Advice isn't there to be tailored to every possible scenario. It's there for the majority of people.

*flaviaritt Tue 27-Oct-20 09:50:25
I feel the pressure put on women to have smears does impact your freedom to choose.

It doesn’t. None of the procedures people imagine to be compulsory (vaccinations, smears, smoking tests/blood tests during pregnancy) are anything other than entirely at the patient’s discretion.*

Well, I was refused my pill prescription by one doctor as a young woman until I had a smear done and recently similar about my HRT as I was six months late getting it done.

Well, I was refused my pill prescription by one doctor as a young woman until I had a smear done and recently similar about my HRT as I was six months late getting it done.

With what medical basis?

None! the first time was a hideous male doctor (who was also trying to insist that I had a student in present on my first smear). The last time was about 9 months ago. I have no genetic risks or any risk factor higher than anyone else.

These are 30 years apart but still.

JustHereWithMyPopcorn

Then that is malpractice. It doesn’t affect your actual rights.

I have definitely been pressured. A simple No at the family planning clinic results in the nurse going to get the doctor to apply further pressure. Every gp visit is dominated by smear test lectures.

Trying to get taken off the screening programme is a nightmare, phone calls, letters and appointments being made for you to discuss why.

Sorry but it’s really not a violation, even though you may feel unnerved by it. Presumably you agreed to the procedure beforehand, so you knew to expect a certain level of invasive involvement.

When you have kids everyone has a good old rummage. You get used to it! I really don’t mean to minimise what you’re feeling by joking like this but it is the truth that you will undergo more physical examinations if you decide to have children. And generally, more smear tests in your life; which are always carried out by trained health professionals. I agree that smears are undignified, but us women do have to suffer a lot of indignity I’m afraid in that area! It’s just what it is.

When you come to give birth, to be honest you won’t really care who’s down there, you just want your baby out!

@flaviaritt that may be the case but unless you are aware of that at the time it's not much help.

When you come to give birth, to be honest you won’t really care who’s down there, you just want your baby out!

This is not true for many women. Many women experience birth trauma resulting from the behaviour/attitude of HCPs involved in the birth.

There are a lot of bulldozer attitudes on this thread.

Haven’t read full thread but I’m sedated for internal examinations (due to PTSD caused by years and years of gynae problems, hundreds of internals and scans and being mistreated), would that help?

It’s usually just a couple of diazepam and strong painkillers so I end up dozing through the procedure - maybe that would help . I cope better if I’m not totally aware of what’s going on . Have been offered a full GA but don’t feel that’s necessary !

I’ve also got a note on my records explaining the situation and that any internal is only to be done by specific GP/nurse. which helps a lot as they both know me very well .

JustHereWithMyPopcorn

Then hopefully my posts help make people more aware.

When you come to give birth, to be honest you won’t really care who’s down there, you just want your baby out!

I cared. I wasn’t ultra upset about it but I was very aware of it and I wanted to be treated like a person.

Ophelia2020

But you don’t have to comply with any of it. Just get up and leave.

And I completely agree, it does feel violating . I had an internal scan years ago on a gynae ward . Man walked in halfway through, took the probe from the female doctors hand, whilst the probe was still in my vagina, and carried on scanning , he didn’t even tell me his name or ask if he could take over . I did consent to the scan, but I felt like a piece of meat who clearly didn’t matter to them . I remember feeling absolutely horrendous after and violated describes it exactly .