To feel violated by a smear test?

[Jericoo]

I had a smear test for the first time today. Although I understand the importance and had thoroughly researched the procedure, I cannot sleep at the moment as I feel so violated.

The doctor was wonderful, answered all of my questions and she took things slowly as she knew I was nervous. Does the feeling of being violated go away? It wasn't painful or even that embarrassing in the end, but the feeling of having something shoved in your hoo-ha by someone you've just met is not pleasant.

I am worried this will become a complex and I will avoid having it done again in 3 years as the way I feel now is so horrid, I am in tears. I know someone who had to have a hysterectomy at 30 because of cervical cancer, so it's very important to me to not develop a fear of this.

Does anyone have any tips on how to overcome the feeling of violation?

[ellenpartridge]

Was also going to suggest HPV self swab tests which you can order from eg Superdrug online pharmacy.

These days many NHS trusts test your smear swab sample for HPV only in the first instance. If negative they don't test for anything else. If positive they do further checks. So you can do the HPV part yourself quite easily and only need to worry about getting a "full" smear booked in if HPV positive.

I was given this advice by a lovely doctor after a failed attempt at a smear. I absolutely hate the advice "just 5 minutes, simple procedure, no need to be embarrassed" etc etc. For people with previous trauma or any issues making it physically difficult that advice just makes them feel even worse. For some people it really is hard and it's fair to acknowledge that. Home HPV swabbing was about the first actually helpful suggestion I was given!

[FluffyPersian]

Has anyone had a smear test WITHOUT any lubricant?

I have always gone for smears and 2.5 years ago I went for my last one and the nurse said they no longer used lubricant as it 'could interfere with the test result' - it was so much more painful, I bled and was really, really upset afterwards. When speaking to other friends and family, they all said that they've still had lubricant allowed for theirs.

I'm due one in June next year and I've already enquired about paying privately as I am NOT going to have another one on the NHS if they refuse to use lubricant, I guess I could bring my own, but the Nurse could refuse to do it and then I've screwed up a slot that could have been used for someone else and don't want to waste NHS resources.

I live in North Hampshire BTW, so don't know if anyone else has found the same or if this is something very focused on my area / surgery

[ravenmum]

Really interesting reading this as I haven't lived in the UK since I was in my early 20s and had no idea how rare smear tests evidently are there. Every 3 years? If you're on the pill here in Germany you see your gynaecologist every 6 months at the latest and they always do an internal examination, first with their fingers, then with a metal speculum. I'm 51 and my gynaecologist now also uses an ultrasound probe on every visit - basically a giant dildo with a condom on it.
I have to say that it had never occurred to me that anyone might find it so traumatising, so have never discussed it with anyone else here - but I wonder if part of the issue might be that it's done so rarely in the UK so you have more time to get worked up about it!

[BefuddledPerson]

@Frenchsticks

You are wrong to say I didn't offer advice, I just didn't give a lengthy lecture.

My original response was: My only advice is accept your feelings, learn relaxation breathing and try to go to all your appointments without avoiding as the more time you give to 'deciding' the worse it'll be. Focus the energy on coping not deciding. Hope that makes sense.

[flaviaritt]

FluffyPersian

Never used lubricant for a smear. I think I must be like the Red Sea down there.

[muddyford]

Hello, Mumsnetters, this is my first ever post. I haven't had a smear test for five years. Like everyone else, it wasn't something I enjoyed but I used to put my mind elsewhere, walking along my favourite beach. On this occasion I had a locum nurse and it became so painful that I almost had to scream at her to stop. She looked all offended and said she hoped it wasn't her fault. As there were only the two of us in the room, I wondered whose fault she thought it might be. I must admit I found the old metal speculum easier as it was inherently much smoother than the disposable plastic ones. My GP has given me absolutely no hassle about not having a test; he said I was low risk, which I knew. I have several friends and relations who have stopped for similar reasons - not embarrassment, which is all the NHS seems to consider, but sheer undiluted agony. The NHS should find out why so many people stop after many tests. It's an archaic method, substantially unchanged for seventy years. Due for an update, I would say.

[SchrodingersImmigrant]

@CloudyVanilla you can't really have "if men had it, it wouldn't be painful" and not expect that someone will correct it with a factual thing and experience.

[PanamaPattie]

“Leave your dignity at the door”. How dare women expect to be treated with respect and be allowed autonomy over their own bodies.

[MegaBloxRoxx]

flavia dignity is very much left at the door during childbirth in my own experience....unless shitting yourself legs akimbo in front of 4 people , screaming/crying, lying with legs in stirrups getting various second opinions on the damage and whether it is repairable without GA makes you feel particularly dignified

[SchrodingersImmigrant]

@ravenmum

Really interesting reading this as I haven't lived in the UK since I was in my early 20s and had no idea how rare smear tests evidently are there. Every 3 years? If you're on the pill here in Germany you see your gynaecologist every 6 months at the latest and they always do an internal examination, first with their fingers, then with a metal speculum. I'm 51 and my gynaecologist now also uses an ultrasound probe on every visit - basically a giant dildo with a condom on it.
I have to say that it had never occurred to me that anyone might find it so traumatising, so have never discussed it with anyone else here - but I wonder if part of the issue might be that it's done so rarely in the UK so you have more time to get worked up about it!

We had every year with a smear from the time you started being sexually active. It was as well combined with preventative examination

[TallFriendlyGinger]

Hi OP I'm really sorry you had a negative experjence with your recent smear test. I've not had one yet but I did have a cervix check recently which has very similar. Theyre not very nice, quite uncomfortable but the nurse I had was lovely and really nice, even gave me some extra info about the speculums. I'm very comfortable with my body and letting doctors see/touch but even that was quite a bit for me so I can understand how you could feel violated by it. However, I think to help cope with how you are feeling you need to acknowledge the emotions and process them properly so you aren't staying upset for too long or getting yourself worked up the next time around. Another poster mentioned a good way of replaying the memory in different colours which sounds good. I'd also recommend treating yourself after the test to associate a positive memory with it. Try and rationalise the procedure as well - it's very common, all women have them, it's not very nice but you're really brave to be doing them for your health! Congratulate yourself for what you've done!

[BefuddledPerson]

@Frenchsticks also, respectfully, if you haven't had a bad response yourself, why do you think you know anything or have any useful advice to impart?

All these posters who don't find it traumatic lecturing those who do is quite weird.

[BeautifulandWilfulandDead]

I hate them too, find them very invasive and anxiety provoking and usually spend the rest of the day in bed. But I've also had to have a Lletz for pre-cancerous cells so I don't avoid them.

[MegaBloxRoxx]

panama is it not just a way of saying 'don't worry about it, this isn't a dignified process/we see this evey day' etc!?

[flaviaritt]

MegaBloxRoxx

That is not the issue. It is not the job of a midwife to tell you to leave your dignity anywhere. It is their job, as far as possible, to respect and protect it.

[CloudyVanilla]

Wrong. We could go into the history of how women's needs objectively and evidently have come second to mens but why bother, wouldn't want to upset the men posting on the cervical smears thread

[flaviaritt]

PanamaPattie

Indeed.

[cbt944]

[quote SchrodingersImmigrant]@CloudyVanilla you can't really have "if men had it, it wouldn't be painful" and not expect that someone will correct it with a factual thing and experience. [/quote]
But the fact remains, the standard diagnostic test is no longer finger up the bum, it's a blood test.

If there are raised levels, then more invasive procedures may occur - in much the same way, a woman may go on to have a colposcopy - but a woman has an invasive smear as first port of call.

Also a finger in a glove up your anus is minor; no-one is placing a speculum up there and opening it wide... then a scratchy brush, etc.

[TreestumpsAndTrampolines]

yossell - and you had this every couple of years since you were 21 yes? So did every male member of your family?

Oh, no, it was because you were having symptoms - it was an individualised treatment for your actual health issue. Not just a blanket thing done to 50% of the population, that many find uncomfortable and embarrassing.

I mean, if you want to talk horror stories of sharp things in orifices, and bleeding for weeks after, then I've had 2 kids, so have many women here, so believe me, on that subject we can go toe to toe.

[Melroses]

@FluffyPersian

Has anyone had a smear test WITHOUT any lubricant?

I have always gone for smears and 2.5 years ago I went for my last one and the nurse said they no longer used lubricant as it 'could interfere with the test result' - it was so much more painful, I bled and was really, really upset afterwards. When speaking to other friends and family, they all said that they've still had lubricant allowed for theirs.

I'm due one in June next year and I've already enquired about paying privately as I am NOT going to have another one on the NHS if they refuse to use lubricant, I guess I could bring my own, but the Nurse could refuse to do it and then I've screwed up a slot that could have been used for someone else and don't want to waste NHS resources.

I live in North Hampshire BTW, so don't know if anyone else has found the same or if this is something very focused on my area / surgery

They can still use lubricant.

They are just not supposed to smear it all over so it ends up on your cervix where they are taking the sample.

Unfortunately some have interpreted this as not using any, which is really really rubbish if you are menopausal.

Do complain and maybe the practice will have a look at their procedures and training.

[iwantmyownicecreamvan]

I don't think I will be called for any more as I am 65 now but I always found them horrible - I think they felt worse when I was younger though.

Do any older MNers remember being offered one at their place of work in the 70s? We were offered one where I worked (big manufacturing company) and that would have been my first one. I would have been about 23/24. I remember it wasn't nice, but my overriding memory was of all the women having to take off their tights and underwear and sit waiting on some chairs outside the canteen (it was after lunchtime). We sat there whilst people went to and fro about their business (including lots of men) and they all knew we had no underwear on and what we were waiting for. I remember I thought it was awful but just had to be put up with because the company were doing a good thing for us by arranging this examination. However a colleague (who wasn't much older than me) point blank refused and said it was demeaning. I was impressed that she had been able to vocalise this - she must have been quite forward thinking.

[flaviaritt]

Should also say, just for balance, that for me a smear is a matter of very minor discomfort for a few seconds. I don’t look forward to it but once I’m there I’m not bothered by it.

[Ophelia2020]

I agree with a pp who suggested looking into Margaret McCartney work. I think if many women knew just how unreliable these tests were they would make an informed choice not to be screened.

jms.rsmjournals.com/content/17/1/52.1.full

[BefuddledPerson]

@tomandmigg

My top tip is to replay the memory, let it be full colour, from your point of view and as detailed as possible. Then imagine the colour fades to black and white, and the perspective goes from first person to third, so watching outside of yourself. Then change from 3D to 2D and then imagine the memory getting smaller.

You need a nice quiet space to do this, and if you do it once a day for a week or so, you should find the memory stings a lot less.

Good luck.

This is a very useful post. This is what I meant by focusing on ways to cope. I use self-hypnosis techniques for all unpleasant medical/dental things, they really work for me. Knowing I can do that means I no longer get stressed before appointments.

There are lots of ways to reduce the grimness. Bullying yourself into feeling differently is not a proven technique.

[Tiredpigeon]

@kenworthington Me too, birth trauma is awful...I can only have internal exams or smears if I take beta blockers now. I have cried through every one and bleed a lot each time although it seems that might be linked to endo. The nurse suggested I leave a bigger gap between them next time as my reaction is so bad and I am low risk. I am interested in the postal test though. Everyone's experience is different.