To think it's unfair to let your child believe in Father Christmas once they start secondary school

[Lavenderteal271]

My niece is 12 and still firmly believes. She started secondary school in September. My sister won't tell her the truth and DN isn't questioning it. I thought she was maybe just going along with it but my DS was chatting to her and she does genuinely still think its all real.

I think my sister should tell her, I think she's setting her up to be bullied. AIBU?

I have got to agree with PP on the bullying... while school is complex and kids can get bullied for things out of adults knowledge/control the sheer anger a vitrol from ADULTS here aimed at a 12 year old would suggest your kids are seeing this bullying behavior from you as adults and replicating it

this thread is about an (apparently) REAL 12 year old girl, some of you people really need to think do you honestly want to be the kind of people who gang up and call a 12 year old you dont even know 'abnormal' - its pretty shocking

just imagine if it was 8 pages of strangers mocking and laughing at YOUR innocent child because another adult decided your parenting wasnt correct and needed shaming and the posters turned on your child saying they must be stupid or autistic or wierd (even without knowing anything about them) because it not exactly how they where as kids

the mother didnt ask for opinions/advice, the child didnt ask a question and its no one elses job to declare that someone elses child is abnormal or their parenting on something as silly as santa is 'wrong'

@Hormonecrazyhell

My autistic son believed up until year 5/6. I told him. He was furious I had lied for years. I mean absolutely livid. He gave me the “I’m disappointed in you” talking to. He asked what else I had lied about. He is still angry about it when the run up to Christmas starts every year, years later. I think if he’d been younger it would of been much better, for me at least

Also autistic and that was the age I figured it out. It didn’t ruin Christmas for me though.

PhilSwagielka

Also autistic and that was the age I figured it out. It didn’t ruin Christmas for me though.

I think it would of been better if he figured it out rather that me shattering the dream so to speak. Christmas is not ruined for him, just always mentions me being a liar once the coca-Cola advert starts lol

My DC are still toddler but my plan is to start getting sloppy with my Santa Duties when they’re about 7, so they start questioning things gradually and there doesn’t have to be any Big Reveal

That's so sad. Kids only really 'get' Father Christmas from age 4 onwards, I'd hate to think they only have 2-3 years of believing, thats so depressing 😯

I've commented before about my DD who is in Y7 and still keen on Santa... today, out of no-where, she asked if she should write her letter to him this week and if I thought a VR headset was the sort of present he might bring. Later, she asked how old people are when he stops bringing presents for them and I replied that it's probably when they stop believing in him.

The Santa who visits our family fills a stocking (not an enormous one) with gifts such as socks, nice shower gels, favourite chocolates, novelty stationery, toothbrushes and toothpaste plus other useful/use-up-able items. 'He' usually leaves a couple of larger things that don't fit in the stocking but that were mentioned in the letter to him e.g. a requested book/game, a family of Sylvanian animals, a telescope (not a huge, fancy one).

We've never done the whole 'everything is from Santa' routine and any big ticket items tend to come from us. Santa will never bring us live animals nor will he bring something he knows the parents are opposed to. So, whilst their peers may be given an Apple watch or latest iPhone by Santa, my DC know he wouldn't bring one for them because it's not something we're keen on them having at the moment.

I have every confidence that DD will come to her own conclusions about Santa when she's good and ready. I don't believe she'll be scarred for life, or bullied if she turns 12 before doing so. She's a child. She's got decades of adulthood and very little magic or mystery ahead of her so I'm not going to force her to give up Santa any more than I'd force her to send whatsapp messages at 2am just because some Y7s do.

@Prettybluepigeons I’ve seen you spreading your venom all over Mumsnet today, so you’re biphobic/homophobic and now you’re ableist! Go figure. Maybe you should worry about your own cognitive ability love.

In the great scheme of things does it really really matter if children still believe in Father Christmas at 12? Can't we let them enjoy that magic for as long as they want?
I don't believe children of this age talk about Father Christmas anyway so the bullying is unlikely. If it was any other belief people wouldn't be going oh well never mind.
If someone came on here saying their child was bullied for believing in God would anyone say well you shouldn't have said he was real.
Lots of time for children to live in the real world, nothing wrong with holding on to that bit of magic as long as possible.