To think this gift wasn’t offensive?

[Steppingonpegg]

So it’s been a hard 18 months. One of the things is DC age 3 has been diagnosed with autism. I’ve found it hard, everyone has been upset and confused but we’re getting there. I’m his biggest fan, biggest advocate of course. It’s getting easier, slowly.

I got DMIL a gift. It’s a key ring that says ‘We’re just Dancing In The Dark’. You, me, all of us. Love your Steven’ (DC isn’t actually a Steven for the record )

Anyway, MIL took it out at her birthday tea and said ‘oh’. Lovely. Then I thought nothing of it and thought she hasn’t read it properly. She’s a Springsteen fan like myself.

Got home later that evening and she’s text H to say how could nobody get her anything proper this year. Where are her usual flowers? She said ‘you know I don’t like gifts. That’s why I just say get flowers. I’m shocked you think so little of me’.

AIBU to think our gift was nice and not at all uncaring? I felt so sad she didn’t see the message behind it

Kinda underwhelming. Keyring for an adult's family members birthday is a little lame.

Sorry but your nil is acting like a petulant child and sounds ungrateful imo.
It's the thought that counts after all even if you didn't get it quite right

*mil

@Wearywithteens

She’s not an ‘ungrateful hag’, ‘a bitch’, ‘a cow’. Have you never been hurt when someone you thought you were close to gave you a completely thoughtless gift? It’s not about the value, or who chose it, or even that it was in a ‘nice box’. It’s about how it makes them feel. And she is hurt that you chose a crappy keyring.

She’s not asking for much - a bunch of flowers is a small nice thing that’s easy to get. And all you were thinking about was your son, and all your husband was thinking about was himself because his response is awful too. I don’t blame her for getting upset - neither of you gave a shit about her and she is hurt.

How can a quote from your favourite singer from one of your favourite songs be a thoughtless gift?

If you think like some pps "well gosh I don't want to be reminded about my grandson being autistic every day thank you very much" then you acknowledge you know the quote was picked because of that conversation.

Or you don't remember it but you still know it's a quote from the song and artist you like. So again, not thoughtless.

It also doesn't sound like the kind you get free with a £20 shop or pick up at the local garage so even if you forgot the keys was from the song you said you liked, it's clear someone still spent time picking it for you.

@Figgyboa

Kinda underwhelming. Keyring for an adult's family members birthday is a little lame.

And a box of her favourite chocolates and dinner at a nice restaurant

Very ungracious of her to phone and complain about the gift, and very rude. Even if she was underwhelmed by the keyring, she'd already had a nice meal at a fancy restaurant at the expense of you and DH.

Although it isn't the sort of thing it would have occurred to me to give as a gift (I'd think of it as a Christmas stocking fillers only I'm afraid), I can see that you did put some thought into it.

I've received some naff gifts occasionally (cheap set of saucepans from MIL one Christmas) but I thank people and am polite about it. That particular Christmas (in fact, several weeks before it) I'd already bought myself the good saucepan set that I really wanted so the cheap set were stored in the loft until DD1 was getting ready to go to university. She took some of them with her.

In future leave DH to sort her gift out.

She's rude to bring it up!

It is monumentally rude to do anything other than graciously thank a person for a gift.

There sure are some rude people about, and this thread certainly has flushed out a large number of them.

Bet the OP deeply regrets starting it. 💐