To turn down this gift from my in laws?

[WankPuffins]

My in laws are lovely and I appreciate this is a nice problem to have.

It was my 40th earlier this year but I was having an awful pregnancy, suffering from HG, in and out of hospital. It wasn’t marked in anyway.

MIL has asked Dh for a list of my favourite clothes brands. She’s found a personal shopper/stylist who is doing an online personal online styling service that includes a (socially distance or video call) wardrobe ‘shop’ and makeover. It’s to the tune of £500 including new outfits. So really bloody generous of them as a belated 40th/early Christmas gift.

The thing is, I don’t wear anything other than old leggings and t shirts as I don’t go anywhere or do anything. Pre lockdown I only left the house for the school run really or family walks somewhere. We don’t have money to go out and about And I’ve got no friends so don’t meet up with anyone, so while it would be nice to have some lovely clothes, I’d never wear them.

And my god, my ‘wardrobe’ consists of crappy old t shits, a couple of jumpers, a couple of cheap dresses incase I ever have to look a bit smart (mainly for parents Evening or going to the doctor 😳), so it would be mortifying to have anyone see the bits of crap I’ve got. Honestly, a charity shop wouldn’t take most of the clothes I wear day to day they are too worn out.

Over the years I have had moments of wanting to look nicer, bought myself a few bits but then never wore them - don’t want to chuck them on just to drop off in the car for school, don’t want to come home and clean in them and then just spend all day playing on the floor with a baby or child, or get messy at a toddler group (I’ve had three kids over 18 years so I’ve never got out of the running around after a child phase!)

If I had anything nice now, it would be utterly pointless. I know I look like shit most of the time but honestly, nice clothes would be uncomfortable and get ruined.

Just thinking about it has made me feel really down about myself.

(I now realise I sound like a really pathetic slob reading that back).

[WankPuffins]

@showgirlie it’s not that - it’s just that I wouldn’t be comfortable. When I’ve got little kids I’m at home looking after the house, on the floor playing with them. When I’m at work I’m in scrubs or sleeping off nightshift/knackered and just wanting comfort.

[tealandteal]

You totally deserve this! Just be really clear with what you want, if that's some nice boots, a good coat, a lovely jumper and 50 pairs of leggings it doesn't matter. Your MIL just wants you to be happy sounds like. Get some lovely pjs for snuggling in, a new dressing gown, whatever takes your fancy. Their job is to find what suits your wardrobe so be clear it needs to be washable and wearable. If you do end up with something you wouldn't normally wear at least it didn't cost you anything if you don't wear it.

[EmpressSuiko]

I think you need this and should accept.
Focus on practical, comfortable clothes, pick out some nice new tops, jumpers/cardis, comfortable bottoms, maybe a coat and shoes.
You don’t need to be picking out skirts/dresses or anything that you wouldn’t usually wear, think of it as updating your current wardrobe.

[theemmadilemma]

Noooo, take it. You say your clothes are worn out, of course you deserve nice new ones.

If you explain that you spend most of your time at home, and prefer comfortable clothes she can help you find some lovely lounge wear and you'll be cosy, and I'm sure possibly feel a bit better about yourself?

[Laiste]

I said 'pieces' tongue in cheek by the way

I too just live in my skinnies and various vest tops and long cardies. But i would love some 'fancy' versions

[Iftheclouds]

You deserve nice things and I would this would probably make you feel better.

[JaffaCake70]

@Curioushorse

So I think it sounds like you really need this!

Me too!

[BigBadBox]

The nice clothes you've previously bought are you not wearing them because you've bought a suit or not wearing them because you don't think you deserve to wear a nice jumper?

I'm a toddler mum who (atm) rarely goes anywhere nicer than the park. I have (not bought all at once!) 2 pairs nice flat boots, a good quality winter coat, a good quality lightweight coat, a few wool jumpers, some thick good quality leggings, some well fitting jeans. These get loads of wear, aren't damaged by my lifestyle and make me happy.

[ShrimpingViolet]

Ahh do it OP! As others have said, you don't need fancy clothes. My DP loves trackies etc and has some really nice branded jumpers that he basically lives in.

Maybe a pair of really lovely, comfortable autumn boots tol?

It'll give you a nice boost and yes, you deserve it! It would be lovely to come back to this thread to see that you'd done it and got something out of it.

[Teawaster]

Most of us are dressed pretty shabbily at the moment . I'm wfh here dressed in scruffy leggings and a fleece that's about 10 years old. I'm finishing shortly and going for a run but because I'm going outside the house , I will put on a better pair of leggings and top, even if it's for a run. Just because you are not meeting up with people , it's sometimes nice to get a boost from wearing something that you have put a bit of effort into . It's easy to get into the habit of not bothering but you would be surprised what a difference it makes, particularly if you adapt your style to what works best for you on a practical level .
Is there any chance that you view your
IN-LAWS gift as an attempt to tell you to smarten up . If that's the case that would annoy me. If not then I think you should happily accept and learn to enjoy it .

[Laiste]

Throw in some really luxurious PJs. And some new slippers. And a lovely dressing gown.

..... ooooh you need help to spend! :)

[Alexandernevermind]

Your mother in law sound amazing, I agree with others that it sounds like this will do you and your self esteem the world of good. My own lovely MIL took me shopping after the birth of my second because I had no spare cash for myself and no nice clothes that fit. A good winter coat, some nice boots, a couple of tops and some well fitted jeans would be my go-to, and would easily swallow up £500. You will enjoy it, I promise!

[Laiste]

Have you got to shop from one shop or brand OP?

Can we link to some nice stuff here to give you inspiration?

It would probably help when it comes to talking to the personal shopper if you already have some links.

[WankPuffins]

@BigBadBox I’ve got a thing for 1950s and 60s clothing. So if I buy or want anything nice it’s vintage or repro - they are so impractical for just being in the house! I get uncomfortable very quickly and reach for the holey leggings!

[Ninkanink]

Coat, boots, bag. Beautiful scarf (cashmere?).

That is a great use of the money and you can wear those things every day.

[SunshineCake]

Leggings
Thirsts
Jumpers
Cardigans
Nightwear
Underwear
Lovely thick socks
Nice slippers

Soon be spent.

[Shoxfordian]

Enjoy the present and buy some things
It sounds like you need them

[WankPuffins]

@Laiste. She just asked for brands. So I think the stylist will take a look at websites and put something together? I assume she/he would contact me first before looking.

Any ideas much appreciated! I usually online shop as I work (ed) nights so always too knackered to go shopping and it was easier to get bits I needed on breaks. If I by anything it’s ASOS or simply be (I was a size 22 am now a 16, so have more options now I guess).

I will take it and go for nicer comfy clothes. I like walking and wear gym leggings and tops for that, could do with some new ones.

[FinallyHere]

coat/shoes would be an idea but it sounds more outfit based if you see what I mean.

If the consultant is any good, and lots of them are, they will start by looking at your lifestyle to work out what kind of 'outfits' you need.

You can be clear, that they need to be baby proof, well at least washable. How bad would it be to have a gorgeous waterproof coat and boots ready for the winter? For example, I now WFH and mostly wear scruffs. A consultant found this jacket for me in my favourite colour

https://www.protected-species.com

I love it so much I'm glad when it rains do I get to wear it. It honestly lifts my heart.

I would encourage you to try. If nothing else, it's a few hours break for you. Don't worry about needing to get dressed up to visit the consultant. She eill want to see you as you are. It might even be fun and a bit of an esteem boost for you. If it isn't , well, no harm done. It might also be useful in a few years to know someone who can help you find new outfits, when this phase of motherhood is over.

The days when it was all about power suits with those shoulders really are long gone.

Please remember that what you saw of Trinny and Suzanne was very much entertainment for a certain kind of TV audience. Someone who is earning their living making you feel good about yourself will be very different. The consultant I used (now retired) was not happy with how T&S used the things they had learned.

[Tristatearea]

You deserve this treat (and your lovely MIL ⭐️)

[BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz]

Look ahead online at what the store stocks. Do they do pyjamas or dressings gowns? Do they do nicer long line t-shirts to wear over leggings? What about a long cardigan which would be comfy round the house over the t-shirt and leggings?

[Marylou2]

Definitely don't refuse this offer. Some lovely boots that'll go with everything and a nice warm coat. Imagine how toasty you'll feel when you're walking with the buggy .

[WankPuffins]

I just worry that MIL will be expecting me to buy much nicer clothes. She and my SIL are always in designer gear, always dressed to the nines with perfect make up. I will never be like that, they look fantastic but it’s just not me at all, never has been.

[Disfordarkchocolate]

Go for basics that will work for lots of situations and ask for easy to care for items. You deserve this.

[WankPuffins]

I’m hesitant to spent all that Money on new comfy clothes Incase she’s put out by it. She’s really nice, I don’t want her to think I’m taking the piss.