This is a bad reason to reject a potential secondary school, isn’t it?

[Bvop]

Went to a virtual open evening at a local girls’ school last night and I very quickly got a gut feeling it wasn’t the right place for DD. The thing that tipped my opinion was that the head of year was wearing an absolute face full of makeup, false lashes, eyeshadow, lips, cheeks and the works, and the head was similar. The head girl was similar but without the false lashes. I know I am judging, and I know things go deeper than looks but also I don’t want my dd to have this as the exemplar during her time at school. AIBU to strike this school off the list of potentials for this reason?

While I admit this would put me off a bit, it’s a silly reason to strike a school off your list.

There’s definitely more important factors to consider than how much makeup the HT and HoY wear.

I choose my kids schools based on gut feeling and didn't regret any of the senior schools, one of the primaries was a disaster. Is there anyone you know with a DD there who could confirm you suspicions or put your mind at rest.

Make up doesn’t hamper her ability to do her job. How bloody judgemental and snotty.
Your precious DD will be wearing makeup and lashes before you know it.

What if the HT of the next school was overweight? Would you reject that one on the basis that the HT wasn't making healthy choices?

Your reasoning sounds completely barking to me. Look at the school results, speak to other parents/students and make an informed decision based upon things that actually matter.

And if she hadn't done the full face of makeup, other parents would be saying 'I'm going to reject this school because the Head of Year looked ropey as anything and didn't even bother improving her presentation when she's representing the school'.

I'd also say that the Head Girl giving up her own time for this and then complaining that she's put effort into her appearance in the way teenage girls do in their own time is a little churlish. unless you'd rather she didn't do anything but show off her acne and maybe drag a brush through her hair?

It would have made me uneasy too but I would want to know more. Is there a prospectus, either on line or paper? If so, what do the other staff/pupils look like? It might be coincidence that there was a preponderance of a particular look at the open day in which case I wouldn't be so bothered, but if all or the vast majority of the staff and older pupils looked like that then I wouldn't be keen. I would want my children to see that a variety of looks is equally acceptable.
I have to say I find it a bit depressing how many people seem to see wearing heavy make up as "making an effort" and something that needs to be done to impress people and "sell" your institution though. It is wrong to make assumptions about someone because they make a lot of make up but equally unacceptable to do the same for those who don't wear any.

Why is a woman in makeup making you uneasy?
There is nothing wrong with taking pride in your appearance, we don’t all slop about in MN uniform of leggings and tunics with baby sick on us, boasting we cut our own hair!
The school obviously allows the pupils(head girl) to express themselves instead of all these oppressed schools with ridiculous uniform policies.

@Bvop Is it an all girls's school? If so they'll all probably be experimenting with make up at some point so best to get used to it and she'll probably be wearing make up in a couple of years too anyways

Nothing wrong with wearing make up ive always worked with successful coporate women who all wore make up - its part of life

When I was at high school many moons ago couple of my teachers looked like the back end of a bus and they were the worst teachers in the place, the teachers that were “made up” and dressed well were much better role models to us and those others still make me shudder when I remember their attitudes towards pupils. Don’t judge a book by its cover

I guess it’s irrelevant they looked like back ends of buses they were awful full stop.

@ilovemydogandMrObama

Role models are very very important, so don't think you're being unreasonable at all.

DD1 goes to an all girls school, and the head maybe wears lipstick, but very subdued, and the no make up policy is strictly enforced. I even got an email saying that DD1's skirt was an, 'inappropriate length...' after she hiked it up as the school policy was below the knew.

I'm not sure that I would judge a head based on false eyelashes alone, but if a sixth former was wearing them, I would ask questions about the policy and see if it was aligned with mine, keeping in mind these would be the values put forward as your DD is a teenager.

Why a sad, sad, judgemental post.

Hmm nothing wrong with make up per se but I would agree with op for all the senior figures to sport that distinctive very heavy Orangey make up fake look would also put me off. My dds at state girls school head is very smart and business like always in a suit and normal make up the deputies are men. She really inspires confidence

Dear God - what would you prefer?

Straggly hair and wrinkles? Bun and pince-nez?

I have worked with all sorts. I wear make up and I care about my clothes.
One of the best teachers I know was the same. Another cared but couldn't be arsed with makeup every day. Another looked like she'd been dragged through a hedge backwards.

None of that impacted their teaching! Or had any bearing on the ethos of the school.

Though I really don't see what's wrong with caring about what you look like.

I rejected a school for a similar reason, the teacher who put me off was later found to have groomed and be sleeping with a 15 year old.

I agree with pp that, if there are other things about the school you do like, to check the website and dress code policy and go past at a time when you can see them coming out. It wouldn't be make or break for me, but I get why it might be off-putting.

It's possible this was a for-the-camera look or it may be a clue into the school's culture. I noticed a few years back at an open day with DD1 where all the women staff I saw seemed to be teetering in high heels, looked really unsteady and that caught my attention. Probably because there were several men in more comfortable shoes and attire.

I would worry if that was a school norm that my daughters would feel pressured into or bullied for not participating in that. The whole idea that make-up = making more of an effort - and not wearing it is being a slob/can't be arsed as if we can't care about our appearance without makeup - isn't really something I'd want my kids to have reinforced at school.

School culture is important just like academics, most want a good fit for our kids, so while if this looked to be the norm, I'd find it a negative, few schools tick all the boxes so I'd just make a note of it while looking at other schools.

?? A teacher that wore make up and false eyelashes turned out to be a paedophile? You cannot guess at a criminal tendency based on the wearing of make up. I'm pretty sure the Yorkshire Ripper was make up free.

Are you serious? You judge a whole senior school based on 3 representatives having faces full of make up? Really?

I have taught for years. I am in my 50s and never really got the hang of make up so I don’t wear it. I have worked with women of all ages, all fashion styles, with and without make up. What makes a good teacher is really not dependent on whether or not they have false eyelashes. One of the best I ever worked with was obsessed with money and all things designer - one of our colleagues had married into a local business family with a lot of cash. The obsessed one used to fawn over her and was the one who gave her leaving speech - littered with references to what she wore on X or Y trip. I couldn’t quite believe it, it really would have upset me to have many years service reduced to what I had worn...but that teacher was easily the best I have worked with. By miles. Both in terms of results and her pastoral care. Couldn’t fault her.

It would put me off too but I think not enough to discount the whole school. I’d hope it was for the camera.

That was in response to umbrellaonesie

I go into all the high-school in my area. The girls in every single one of them put more make up as they progress through school years.
I would be looking at the schools policies,what extra curricular activities they put on, exam pass rate, etc. Many girls love experimenting with make up through these years and it usually calms down after a while.(my sister was the same at that age and ended up with a high flying career in accounts for an international company- blusher and lashes didn't do her any harm!!)

I don’t want straggly hair and wrinkles: it’s that I don’t want DD ever to think that she’s not enough on her own. I am well presented - good hair cut, smart clothes, glasses that suit my face, but don’t wear make up to work - and this is the same among my colleagues. People might wear some very discreet make-up, but it’s subtle and smart rather than like a magazine shoot. This is my third dc going to secondary school and my boys just don’t have this sort of thing to deal with. I’m quite keen on single sex schools as girls tend to do better in STEM subjects, but probably won’t opt for this one.

@umberellaonesie

I rejected a school for a similar reason, the teacher who put me off was later found to have groomed and be sleeping with a 15 year old.

This comment cannot be real

You are judging them to be shallow due to their makeup, but really it is you who is being shallow to judge them by their makeup. Ironic.

@Bvop

I don’t want straggly hair and wrinkles: it’s that I don’t want DD ever to think that she’s not enough on her own. I am well presented - good hair cut, smart clothes, glasses that suit my face, but don’t wear make up to work - and this is the same among my colleagues. People might wear some very discreet make-up, but it’s subtle and smart rather than like a magazine shoot. This is my third dc going to secondary school and my boys just don’t have this sort of thing to deal with. I’m quite keen on single sex schools as girls tend to do better in STEM subjects, but probably won’t opt for this one.

You're linking two things that aren't linked.

Surely it's better to show your daughter that everyone is different?

Than wait until she gets into the real world where, shocker, some people wear lots of make up.

Give over OP. You're just looking for an excuse to be judgemental

Why is discreet make up important, OP? The head girl at my school has blue hair and often wears black lipstick, she's great! The best lesson for your daughter is to be confident, find her style and not live in fear of judgement. Most of the girls I teach wear false eyelashes, it's a fashion fad, like acrylic nails or multiple piercings. Don't focus on that!