This is a bad reason to reject a potential secondary school, isn’t it?

[Bvop]

Went to a virtual open evening at a local girls’ school last night and I very quickly got a gut feeling it wasn’t the right place for DD. The thing that tipped my opinion was that the head of year was wearing an absolute face full of makeup, false lashes, eyeshadow, lips, cheeks and the works, and the head was similar. The head girl was similar but without the false lashes. I know I am judging, and I know things go deeper than looks but also I don’t want my dd to have this as the exemplar during her time at school. AIBU to strike this school off the list of potentials for this reason?

[tillytown]

OP, you are sexist, you are trying so hard to hide it but it's clear as day. Pretending that some women are better than others based on what they look like is disgusting. You need to work on your internalised misogyny before it messes your kids up.

[Monty27]

OP you are so judgey. Are you perfect in every other way?

[Chestnut23]

I am with you OP. Their values do not align with yours. I think it also depends on what else is available though, and you may have to suck it up for the sake of your daughter's education.

[GreyBow]

Eldest DD goes to a coed school and one of the things I love about it is hardly any of the girls wear makeup. She's now in her final year and she has never worn makeup in lessons, and isn't alone in that.

Is it a class thing? Yes, I think it is a bit.

[eaglejulesk]

You are being ridiculous - I'm almost lost for words

[RiseOwl]

It is ridiculous, and at 11 or 12, i couldnt have known how much my own DD would like wearing make up. So @Bvop I would guess yr own dd could also end up wearin make up to maths class

[ilovemydogandMrObama]

@esmethurst - Why a sad, sad, judgemental post

Uh, what part of my post is in any way judgemental?

I said that a head wearing false eyelashes alone would not be an issue for me, but would want to know about the ethos of the school.

[SBTLove]

@GreyBow
A class thing? seriously?
MN is starting to sicken me with the vile snobbiness about appearance and ‘class’.
Are we not meant to raise our girls to be anything and wear anything they want?
Not live in fear of being judged as common because they have make up on.
Some nasty women on here.

[corythatwas]

I haven't worn lipstick since my wedding nearly 30 years ago, but even I seriously struggle to see makeup or false eye lashes as a "value" any more than wearing a green dress or a blue jacket would be a value.

What I would remember is that this is about choosing a secondary school, not a nursery, so the daughter's values and interests and intellectual requirements should perhaps be given greater weight than the OPs "gut feelings" and prejudices.

If you do make this the deciding factor, OP, you should at least be prepared to explain, in a few years time, to your 16yo daughter that your choice was made based on the headteacher's eye lashes.

[JoJoSM2]

A class thing? seriously?

Wouldn’t it be the Hyacinth Bucket class taking a strong issue with this Harlot High?

[MsTSwift]

Oh god stop all this self righteous ranting at the op. She is perfectly entitled to make any judgment she likes. I am also uncomfortable with this look - it’s not just make Up is it it’s quite extreme and makes the wearer almost look like a plastic doll. I would baulk at so many of the senior team all sporting this same look. Not on grounds of their ability but it’s not what I want to encourage or have my dd around.

[corythatwas]

She is perfectly entitled to make any judgment she likes

Doesn't she have to take her soon-to-be-teenage daughter into account? If her choice should turn not to be for the best (something we can never know for sure in advance), surely she would want something better to say to her daughter than "I'm entitled to make any judgment I like"?

[riceuten]

You are being very unreasonable. Maybe they did this just for the meeting ? How can you even tell without visiting the school (virtually or otherwise)? Surely the most important things are the subjects studied, the teaching atmosphere, the pastoral care? And observations by other parents whose children attend the school ?

Rejecting a school because the staff wear too much make up is shallow beyond belief.

[bethany39]

You haven't answered what you will do or think of your DD if in 5 years time she wants to wear a full face OP.

You seem terribly proud that she isn't into "frills and ribbons and lip gloss". She's what, 10? Yeah, wait til she's 16 before you get too smug about it

[Bvop]

@bethany39

You haven't answered what you will do or think of your DD if in 5 years time she wants to wear a full face OP.

You seem terribly proud that she isn't into "frills and ribbons and lip gloss". She's what, 10? Yeah, wait til she's 16 before you get too smug about it

There are all sorts of things that on balance I don’t aspire to for my dc, and if they make those choices they make those choices. I just get to choose which initial direction I point them in, they choose how to fly

m.poemhunter.com/poem/your-children-4/

[corythatwas]

And if your dd comes back to you in 5 years time and asks "why did you make such an important decision on such shallow grounds? why did you think the head's appearance summed up the direction I should be pointed in? weren't there more relevant things to think about?"