DP refuses to acknowledge he was partly/mostly to blame for a very minor injury I gave myself during playfighting

[LeonaTt]

Saying he didn’t push my body part X against hard surface Y (I did it because I’m clumsy..)

But it happened as I was leaping off the sofa to get away from his play fighting (at which point he was following me and was still all over me). It’s clear he played a huge part in my very minor injury but he’s being defensive and saying it was me who actually injured myself. I said I know he didn’t do it with the intention to cause harm but his actions led to the consequence - he’s much bigger than I am so not easy to wriggle away.

He seems very defensive and not apologetic at all. Almost as if it makes him appear like a woman beater or something (which was definitely not what I was implying)

Play fighting are you children?

What was your minor injury?

If it's really a minor injury, I would ignore whose "fault" it was but insist on no more play fighting as it's only a matter of time before someone gets really hurt.

I don't really understand why you would "play fight" with someone if you're then going to get pissy with them when you accidentally hurt yourself.

I’m confused. Why are two adults fighting like this? Play fighting is still fighting. It’s beyond stupid you’re pretending it’s somehow funny to hurt each other.

Why the hell are you play fighting?

There’s the risk of play fighting that someone or both will get hurt. Yes you could feel he’s at fault but if you’re both up for play fighting seems a bit unfair you’re giving him grief.

Just don’t play fight and there’ll be no injuries 🤷🏻‍♀️

It’s as simple as you were injured whilst trying to get away from him, banter or not.

I'm confused. If you were happy to play fight and you know he didn't mean to harm you, why do you need to apportion blame or for him to acknowledge it? Or alternatively did you not actually want to 'play fight' and he kept coming after you while you were trying to get away (in which case it's not play fighting, it's abuse)?

Play fighting? Odd

Minor injury? What?

It's play fighting, accidents happen.. Plus it sounds as if you leapt from the sofa and the injury happened through that, which is down to you. Couldn't you just have said, can we stop play fighting please?

I think you’re being a drama lama - why even try to blame anyone?

@throwaway100000 in fairness to him, if they’ve been ‘play fighting’ an element of that could be being ‘chased’. So it’s possibly a jump to call him abusive for thinking he’s still in a play fight.

It’d be interesting to hear his opinion.

Just don’t play fight and this won’t happen!

Also not to be dramatic but if this is something that you’re bickering over, it might be time to rethink the relationship. I hate it when I can’t have a productive conversation with a partner, if you butt heads and are both stubborn over something so minor then these issues will just continue and get worse when discussing serious concerns.

Are you the poster whose neighbours called the police after the last time he injured you while "play fighting" ?

I guess it depends. If you were both happily play fighting (not quite sure what that entails!) than I agree with him it's not his fault. Just like if we're playing it, I'm chasing you and you fall over I don't think I'm to blame. If he instigated the play fighting and you were annoyed and trying to get away then yes it was partially his fault.

It would probably make me think that whatever the play fighting is it isn't a good idea if it results in injuries and arguments over who's to blame.

Sorry @throwaway100000 it was the poster below you who mentioned the word abuse.
I’m sorry for the mix up 🙂

Just to make it clear: it was one sided play fighting. I didn’t want to and was trying to get away from it since the minute it started. I can’t stand that kind of stuff. My self defence and trying to get away caused the injury so I feel it wasn’t my fault. It’s obvious the injury wouldn’t have happened without the stupid playfighting he initiated

Accidents happen. If you want to playfight, you can't hold grudges.

Never mind what I said after reading your update. He shouldn't be doing that if you're trying to get away / not consenting to it.

This is why I always made my kids pack that shit in. As I said (and my mum said to me and my sister when we were kids) it'll all end in tears.

It's not worth it. Maybe consider retiring the play fighting.

@Oilyoilyoilgob I’m not sure who is “jumping” as I didn’t call him abusive anywhere? If you take the waffle out of OP’s post, my post was just what the situation boils down to.

Is this one of those reverse ones where you are both children?

Lol! I'll say the same thing that I say to my child - These things happen when you play fight! If you don't want to be hurt, don't engage in play fighting.
FWIW, I spar in martial arts, and I get hurt sometimes. It is to be expected.
Why should he apologise??