Funeral- uninvited but have to pay

[jenjen99]

Hi All,
My husband died last month. We were separated, not divorced, and on good terms. Due to Covid it was a maximum of 15 guests. His father said I was not invited, 'it's family only'. Obviously doesn't understand definition of 'wife'. I didn't want to argue as it's a difficult time anyway and i can find my own way to say goodbye. However, as I'm the sole beneficiary of his estate I've just learnt that I'm liable for funeral costs, despite having no say in arrangements and not being invited. Does anyone know if this is legally correct?

TIA

I used to work with deceased accounts. The funeral is the 1st debt on the estate and can be paid before the estate is settled. I have paid many a funeral bill. Sometimes we received it from the solicitor administrating the estate. Other times family or the Executor would have brought it into the bank branch and it would have been paid from the deceased's account. If there wasn't sufficient funds we would close the account and part pay the bill. It is the estate's responsibility to pay the bill. This doesn't mean someone else can pay it if they so wish. It is not your sole responsibility to pay it same as if your husband left a sole debt it wouldn't be your responsibility to pay it but it would be the estate's. In this case I would be quite certain that whoever arranged the funeral your fil would be responsible. If he were to take you to court over it I am pretty sure he wouldn't win. To be sure I think you should get legal advice so you can be prepared in case he does try to get you to pay but I honestly think he doesn't have a leg to stand on. He did after all lie to the coroner which wouldn't impress any judge.

This doesn't mean someone else can pay it if they so wish.

Sorry meant to say

This doesn't mean someone else can't pay it if they so wish.

Both my parents died recently. The Halifax were brilliant, one phone call , death certificates verified electronically, account closed and proceeds paid out within 2 days. I'm having a nightmare with Santander. Can't do anything online because it was a joint account and the system can only cope with one dieing at a time, paperwork took a week to post out to me, then it apparently didn't arrive back with them, death certificates lost . Wrong paperwork sent out second time, most unhelpful advice line. Still nothing happened three weeks later.

Spaniel, so so sorry for your loss

Paid from his estate, and whoever organised it would have to sort payment

The balance of the estate will be used up in covering funeral expenses - as PPs have said any overspend will need to be covered by whoever incurred the debts.

Have you thought about contacting police/the coroner about the fact that FiL lied about being next of kin?

I was in a similar situation to you.

His family organised everything, I went and sat at the back with his friends and my family. Didn't go to wake.

They sent the entire bill to my solicitor to be paid by estate. Around £5k I think and that was 20 years ago. Scotland if that helps.

I don’t know if op will see this but it looks as if she might be eligible for www.gov.uk/bereavement-support-payment
I googled widow’s pension as that is what my sister got in similar circumstances .

How unkind of your husband’s father! How could he say you can’t go to your husband’s funeral? I see from your other posts you have a young baby too. I hope you are getting some support from your family and friends. It seems that your in-laws are not very nice people. Good luck to you.

@VanGoghsDog Unless you are a family lawyer specialising in probate, I'm happier to accept the advice we had rather than an anon on a forum.

It was more complicated than I've said here and I'm not going to elaborate but it was the right thing to do at the time.
They didn't see the will but there were reasons for informing them of the death.

@jenjen99 10 pages of advice but you have not come back. Anything here of any use for you?

@BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou

I know we are slipping off subject, but in my experience banks generally behave appallingly after a death.

Definitely. After my mother died my father asked the bank to cancel the cards she’d had on their joint account and remove her name from the account The total twonk he had the pleasure of speaking to was adamant that the needed to speak to both account holders and ended up with saying that “in that case you should have asked her to call us before the death”.

That bank lost all my fathers accounts.

Jeez, that's fucking dismal. But - not dissimilar to stuff my Dad had to go through when my Mum was at death's door in hospital. A large department store Mum had a card with - very bad to deal with, face to face. Dad got very VERY upset when they suggested she should come in herself. She died a few days later, and was in ICU the entire period - no chance of her "coming in herself". They were better once she HAD died, but too late for Dad.

People are such wankers over this stuff - it's like their training hasn't fitted them to deal with the death of the account holder, and it fucking well SHOULD. And if they can't, then any "death of account holder" situations should be referred to specialist handlers who ARE fucking trained!

@ASandwichNamedKevin

ASandwichNamedKevin

Howlooseisyourgoose
Ugh why do these OPs start threads and disappear?! So bloody annoying.

OP started the thread late last night, she may be working today or have other things to do. It's not like the thread has been abandoned for days, and even if it were that's up to her.

I don’t think she’s coming back. Yes it’s up to her and I understand why posters with traumatic issues don’t return to a thread but it does get annoying when people start threads and never return to them.

@BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou

I know we are slipping off subject, but in my experience banks generally behave appallingly after a death.

Definitely. After my mother died my father asked the bank to cancel the cards she’d had on their joint account and remove her name from the account The total twonk he had the pleasure of speaking to was adamant that the needed to speak to both account holders and ended up with saying that “in that case you should have asked her to call us before the death”.

That bank lost all my fathers accounts.

Friend of mine whose husband died of pancreatic cancer was told that she would have to produce his signed authorisation to close his account.