To feed my baby using plastic bottles. Just had a row with DP

[CassandrasCastle]

[https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/environment/2020/oct/19/bottle-fed-babies-swallow-millions-microplastics-day-study]
I have just been accused of not caring for our baby (formula fed since week 2. My decision, I couldn't take it anymore. I still don't think he completelyunderstands this.) because I'll continue to use plastic Tommee Tippee bottles after reading this Guardian article DP found today. He's usually incredibly wonderful and supportive, and I think I'm probably being a cow.
But we're currently not really speaking despite apologising to each other about outburst on both sides.
If I continue with the plastic bottles for 6 month old DD AIBU?

Of course its a guilt trip. Hes accused her of not caring about their child. If he was so bothered he would go out and buy the new bottles himself

@TheDuchessofMalfy

I don’t think you need to sterilise after 6 months do you? Just wash the bottles up at a lower temperature and should be fine. Could be wrong though as I’m years away from this stage.

Or you could switch to glass bottles or start phasing out bottles and moving to some sort of cup?

Yes, you need to sterilise whenever you use formula

*powdered formula

@Airyfairymarybeary

This is a proven scientific fact. Not a guilt trip.

As opposed to unproven scientific facts?

It's one study. Which needs to be contextualised.

So....what's the prognosis for the millions of babies that have been fed from plastic bottles in just the last year?

I would tell him the responsibility to make up feeds is now his, and if he ever insinuated I didn't care for my own child he would regret it. That was an unfair and supremely unkind thing to say.

@lyralalala I think you need to use boiling water but the sterilizing of the bottles isn't necessary? Could be wrong - I'm years past that stage!

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion

YANBU tell him when he lactates he can decide how the baby is fed.

Wrong. When is he feeding the baby he can decide how the baby is fed. Neither of them are lactating so I fail to see the relevance of this.

It's sterilising the powder that is the important bit. I think washing out a sterilised bottle with plain tap water would be fine.

@redolent - but she's doing most of the feeding, right? So she has more say. Plus she is the only one who had the capacity to breastfeed, so it feels worrying to me that she thinks this is something that's played into his actions here.

I doubt it will make the slightest bit of difference as microplastics are in everything we eat and drink now ff's.
If your husband can figure out how to stop this on a global scale then hurrah!

He sounds like a tool for speaking to youkke that!

We used glass bottles (when not breastfeeding) and they were great, so if you do mutually agree to try it I can recommend the glass MAM bottles.

[quote MsEllany]@lyralalala I think you need to use boiling water but the sterilizing of the bottles isn't necessary? Could be wrong - I'm years past that stage![/quote]
You need to sterilise bottles because of the risk from milk in the little difficult to clean bits.

He is being totally U, if he is concerned about microplastics he needs to deal with it respectfully as a shared problem, e.g. " I read this article and was concerned, I wonder if we should switch to a different bottle". It doesn't bode well for the future if he's going to turn every parenting choice into a personal attack.

There have been zillions of studies comparing breastfed and formula fed babies, the vast majority of the formula fed babies would have been fed from plastic bottles. So if there was a major issue it would have been picked up. Breastfeeding is better, but not by miles, so any effect from plastic must be quite small if it exists at all.

Take him along to the nearest primary school at drop off or pick up time. Ask him to pick out the breast fed/plastic bottle fed/glass bottle fed children.

That might help him understand- when your babies are small it’s very easy to feel anxious over things and make things a much bigger deal than they need to be (I mean that gently because I was very guilty of doing that !) but ultimately by the time your kid starts school the way they have been fed as an infant is totally irrelevant.

Did you say in your OP that your DD is 6 months old? If so, it's a moot point. Start weaning and give her a sippy cup, non-plastic of course to appease SuperDad... 💐

There's even microplastics (and other toxins) in breastmilk these days. Yet millions of us are still alive.

@ApplePlumPie

Take him along to the nearest primary school at drop off or pick up time. Ask him to pick out the breast fed/plastic bottle fed/glass bottle fed children.

That might help him understand- when your babies are small it’s very easy to feel anxious over things and make things a much bigger deal than they need to be (I mean that gently because I was very guilty of doing that !) but ultimately by the time your kid starts school the way they have been fed as an infant is totally irrelevant.

This really isn’t similar to breastfeeding /bottle feeding and the (lack of) developments differences between children. It’s an issue where research is still at a very early stage, but the implications of ingesting microplastics are very concerning (the chemicals in them are linked to various cancers, weakened immune systems and reproductive problems).

www.washingtonpost.com/gdpr-consent/?next_url=https%3a%2f%2fwww.washingtonpost.com%2fhealth%2fyoure-literally-eating-microplastics-how-you-can-cut-down-exposure-to-them%2f2019%2f10%2f04%2f22ebdfb6-e17a-11e9-8dc8-498eabc129a0_story.html%3foutputType%3damp&outputType=amp

More research will need to be done, but we can’t just dismiss these findings outright. People can at least make less cumbersome changes such as not heating children’s food in plastic containers, for instance.

I remember there being a huge hoo hah about the right way to mix formula when I had mine. There is always something.

He is entitled to his opinion but there are pros and cons to both sides. I found warming milk in glass bottle made the glass really hot (glass is a good insulator - heat transfer to milk poor). Danger of smashing when out and about, plus weight (I used only glass water bottles when pregnant because of bpe fears - well, tried to, but the buggers smashed or were too heavy!). At some point soon your little one will be moving onto a sippy cup, bowl and cutlery that they will handle themselves. Is he proposing they never eat/drink anything warm from them? Because that’s going to be a hell of a lot of glasses and china bowls smashed as the wee one pitches stuff off the high chair tray!

Those additional steps sound a total faff, on top of the faff of waiting for formula to cool etc. And if you use a perfect prep machine, glass bottles may not fit. (I know the perfect prep argument is old and was down to filthy buggers not cleaning their machines but if he’s going to worry, I’d go for that.)

You will soon be arguing over baby led versus spoon fed purees. I baby led using organic, home made food and the little bugger now only eats fish fingers and oven chips.

I haven't read the article but how about silicone bottles? They are really easy to clean.

I really struggled with not breastfeeding. DH genuinely didn't mind. If he had wanted me to continue I would not have coped. As it was he didn't pressure me either way but when the decision was made he jumped at the opportunity to feed DS.

Your DH is of course allowed to discuss things with you. He should not however tell you you don't care about your child. I could not have handled an extra level of faff along with weaning. I felt like I was preparing food or bottles all day long.

@CassandrasCastle

Whoever asked me about laziness - possibly? I have a baby, I am living in a new country trying to make friends during covid, I don't speak the language yet...it's all quite a lot. But I can also be lazy.

Yikes. Whose idea was it to move to a country where you know no one and don't speak the language? You're in a vulnerable position here and now the one adult who should have your back is criticising your parenting.

It depends how he approached it. If he said 'read this article - I'm worried about exposing the baby to plastic so maybe we could look into how to lower the risk', then it would be utterly unreasonable to refuse to engage and discuss the subject or consider a change.

If he said 'I've read this article and I think you need to start making feeds up in a glass jug and cold sterilising the bottles' and refused to consider alternatives or engage in a proper discussion, then that would be unreasonable on his part.

To those suggesting he should have gone out and bought the bottles himself if he wanted to make the switch, wouldn't that be worse? Surely if he just presented it to the OP as a fait accompli that would be worse than simply initiating a discussion?

He should take responsibility for this, but personally I always preferred glass bottles. They are made of special extra tough glass and do not break when dropped. They also wash up sparkling clean every single time for ever and do not go all cloudy and minging-looking after a while.

Oh do fuck off @Ohalrightthen.
Good for you that you "pushed through" with breast feeding - not all of us are able to.
And rinsing three times with boiling water, making in a separate glass container and then transferring is not just an inconvenience - if you managed to breastfeed you clearly have never done bottle prep in the early hours of the morning with a screaming baby.
Your smug judgement is not helpful.

I don’t understand.
I know glass bottles are more expensive than plastic ones. But if it isn’t a money thing then why would you not just expose your young child to a tiny bit less?
I got one Glass bottle from Mam for my child. It cost £11.

www.mambaby.co.uk/collections/baby-bottles?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIuqeGsOPB7AIVQbTtCh2lDANNEAAYASAAEgKhTPD_BwE