Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feed my baby using plastic bottles. Just had a row with DP

216 replies

CassandrasCastle · 19/10/2020 20:14

[https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/environment/2020/oct/19/bottle-fed-babies-swallow-millions-microplastics-day-study]
I have just been accused of not caring for our baby (formula fed since week 2. My decision, I couldn't take it anymore. I still don't think he completelyunderstands this.) because I'll continue to use plastic Tommee Tippee bottles after reading this Guardian article DP found today. He's usually incredibly wonderful and supportive, and I think I'm probably being a cow.
But we're currently not really speaking despite apologising to each other about outburst on both sides.
If I continue with the plastic bottles for 6 month old DD AIBU?

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 19/10/2020 21:13

I would continue using plastic ones if I already had them. If he wants you to use an alternative he can put his money where his mouth is and buy them himself

Whathappenedtocheesychips · 19/10/2020 21:13

(Certainly nobody should feel guilty about this! The vast majority of infants in the UK are fed with plastic bottles after all)

MaxNormal · 19/10/2020 21:15

Ohalrightthen that was unkind.

stovetopespresso · 19/10/2020 21:15

haha @ScarMatty that happened to me too!! I remember staring in dispeleif at the shattered pieces, crying baby over my shoulder! op you and your dh are going through the emotional roller coaster and I really feel for you both, I'm sure you can sort this out whatever you decide, I cant see theres a right or wrong here just whats right for you Flowers

MJMG2015 · 19/10/2020 21:15

I wouldn't want to use stainless bottles because I wouldn't be happy not being able to see how much they've had etc.

@CassandrasCastle. He was horrible to you and he needs to look at his attitude and his feelings re DD being formula fed.

GuyFawkesDay · 19/10/2020 21:15

Just wait til baby eats a nice crispy bird poo or sucks her shoes.

All thoughts of microplastics pale into insignificant nothingness then.

He said something cruel. You deserve an apology at the very least.

EllieQ · 19/10/2020 21:15

@PearPickingPorky

Sounds like he's trying to make you not happier not-breastfeeding, OP.

Like he wants to keep you with an edge of guilt.

I agree. I couldn’t get breastfeeding established and switched to formula after one week. I felt awful about it, and still occasionally wish I’d kept trying (DD is 5). If DH had been anything but supportive of my decision, it would have really hurt me.

Your DH saying you don’t care about your child because you won’t stop using plastic bottles is a terrible thing for him to say. He’s got you on edge and feeling guilty, you’ve moved to a new country with him (his home country?) where you don’t speak the language, and you don’t have friends or family nearby. That’s not a good set-up for you.

CrappleUmble · 19/10/2020 21:17

@CassandrasCastle

What a whinge I sound. We rarely argue - he really didn't like the switch to formula, like we were putting our trust in Danone or whoever rather than my body. He has always said that the most important thing is that I'm happy though, and accepts I'm happier not breastfeeding.
Hmm, the 'not liking' is rather problematic. To the extent that it would make me less inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt about this.

That being said, by all means he can buy glass bottles and/or be in charge of a new sterilising process if it's important to him. Emphasis on the he. You would BU not to accept him doing that.

Bollss · 19/10/2020 21:18

Out of interest, why don't you want to take the extra steps to make feeding your baby safer? Is it laziness?

Oh sod off. Glass bottles just present a different risk imo.

Microplastics or broken glass near a baby. I know what I'd choose.

Op your husband sounds like a giant child. He's clearly unhappy about you stopping bfing. Until he can bf himself he can f off as far as I'm concerned. It would be a cold day in hell before dp accused me of not caring about my child and I pandered to him and bought sodding glass bottles to make him feel better.

fmlfmlfmlfm · 19/10/2020 21:20

No you are not being unreasonable.

Do what you want. If you're feeding it wine out of a plastic bottle he might have a point. Until then say on your feeds you feed with whatever bottle you want to do.

ScarMatty · 19/10/2020 21:22

Out of interest, why don't you want to take the extra steps to make feeding your baby safer? Is it laziness?

Out of interest, why don't you want to take the extra steps to engage your brain to realise that you probably are a bit of a dick if you feel the need to be making a comment like that. Is it laziness?

Parker231 · 19/10/2020 21:22

Your DH would have had a field day with me - DC’s were formula fed from day one in plastic bottles and then straight onto food from pouches. Healthy baby and happy parents.

ScarMatty · 19/10/2020 21:22

@Parker231

Your DH would have had a field day with me - DC’s were formula fed from day one in plastic bottles and then straight onto food from pouches. Healthy baby and happy parents.
Oh you are my parenting twin!
Deadringer · 19/10/2020 21:23

Hand him the baby and tell him to sort it out.

unmarkedbythat · 19/10/2020 21:25

There are steps you can take to reduce the risk. The Guardian article on this says:
"The scientists suggest an additional washing step can cut the microplastics produced during usual formula preparation. Water boiled in a non-plastic container and then cooled is used to rinse the bottle three times after sterilisation. The formula is also made in a non-plastic container, then cooled and poured into the clean bottle."

SarahAndQuack · 19/10/2020 21:25

YANBU.

He gets to have an opinion, but not to dictate things to you, when you're doing the majority of the care.

You say you stopped BF and he still doesn't 'completely understand' this. I think it's worrying that he thinks there's something to 'understand'. Personally, I feel that the person who gave birth does get more of a say with things like how to feed a tiny child. Sure, it's his baby too, but his body never lactated; he isn't directly the person who had to go through that physical change, and so it is less immediate for him.

Bollss · 19/10/2020 21:25

@unmarkedbythat

There are steps you can take to reduce the risk. The Guardian article on this says: "The scientists suggest an additional washing step can cut the microplastics produced during usual formula preparation. Water boiled in a non-plastic container and then cooled is used to rinse the bottle three times after sterilisation. The formula is also made in a non-plastic container, then cooled and poured into the clean bottle."
It's like the people who wrote that have never met a hungry baby in their life isn't it.
Original poster
CassandrasCastle · 19/10/2020 21:27

The new country is just temporary while I'm on mat leave, we decided to come jointly (if that makes sense). tbh, I'm really enjoying being in this city, and have met some really great people already, but obviously it is also slightly overwhelming.

OP posts:
Crystalisedpeanuts · 19/10/2020 21:29

How many children are fed with plastic bottles? Christ how many of us were too. They’re also apparently in the air we breathe.. another new guilt trip that isn’t visible so you can’t tell if you’ve got it right or not.

If he isn’t happy he could have found an alternative. Not called you down for something you weren’t even aware of. He’s asleep, clearly not raiding through amazon for a solution. So is he really that bothered?

My first was the same as a pp, we found one type of bottle that worked for him not a chance I was making him suffer again..

Unless he wants to grow tits or provide an alternative to what you have where the milk comes from isn’t his department.

Redolent · 19/10/2020 21:29

@TrustTheGeneGenie

Out of interest, why don't you want to take the extra steps to make feeding your baby safer? Is it laziness?

Oh sod off. Glass bottles just present a different risk imo.

Microplastics or broken glass near a baby. I know what I'd choose.

Op your husband sounds like a giant child. He's clearly unhappy about you stopping bfing. Until he can bf himself he can f off as far as I'm concerned. It would be a cold day in hell before dp accused me of not caring about my child and I pandered to him and bought sodding glass bottles to make him feel better.

So you wouldn’t accept him buying glass bottles and feeding the baby with them when it’s his turn? If neither of you are breastfeeding, shouldn’t be the decision be an equal one?
Original poster
CassandrasCastle · 19/10/2020 21:29

I am now feeding the baby. Microplastics galore :/

OP posts:
Original poster
CassandrasCastle · 19/10/2020 21:31

Fuck it, he can buy glass bottles if he wants to; although I am a bit freaked out by the shattering possibility

OP posts:
MitziK · 19/10/2020 21:33

@unmarkedbythat

There are steps you can take to reduce the risk. The Guardian article on this says: "The scientists suggest an additional washing step can cut the microplastics produced during usual formula preparation. Water boiled in a non-plastic container and then cooled is used to rinse the bottle three times after sterilisation. The formula is also made in a non-plastic container, then cooled and poured into the clean bottle."
In other words - rinse the bottle with kettle water to get the taste of Milton out?

Like you do whenever you cold water sterilise?

But then you increase the likelihood of the formula spoiling by leaving it to cool in another receptacle (Pyrex Jug on the counter?), rather than making it in a sterile bottle and putting it straight in the fridge/giving it to the baby immediately?

I'd think the potential risk of illness vastly outweighs any negligible risk of the plastic bottle and silicon teat.

That and the risk of the kid twatting themselves in the face because they're trying to hold their own bottle as would be expected as a normal indicator of infant development.

BrummyMum1 · 19/10/2020 21:34

We’re only just learning about microplastics and I can see why your DH is finding it overwhelming. I also know how the guilt from not breastfeeding is also overwhelming. It sounds like you’re both passionate about wanting the best for your baby which is brilliant.

Bollss · 19/10/2020 21:34

So you wouldn’t accept him buying glass bottles and feeding the baby with them when it’s his turn? If neither of you are breastfeeding, shouldn’t be the decision be an equal one?

Depends who's doing most of the feeding, and all the sterelising and pissing about that goes along with it. There would be no glass bottles near my baby, ever. Regardless of how equal as parents we were.