AIBU?
Sick of being told I'm black
Notjustblackandwhite · 18/10/2020 21:04
Just this really. On Friday a white friend asked me what I thought of racism in the UK as a black person. I'm mixed race, I'm not black. My mum is white and my father is black Brazilian, but it doesn't seem to matter and I frequently get called black ''for ease'', by white people.
I have nothing against the ''black'' part of my heritage, but I'm at most one or two shades darker than Meghan Markle, and I feel as though an identity is being forced upon me, similarly to how your name might get changed because x and y have decided that your name is too "ethnic" to pronounce. I'm getting more and more worked up over this, and recently someone decided to tell me that I was being racist for being dismissive of being black.
AIBU to think that is really grating and makes me want to punch people sometimes (metaphorically of course)?
BubblyBarbara · 18/10/2020 21:09
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KindergartenKop · 18/10/2020 21:10
Yanbu to feel pissed off if you don't like it.
Perhaps people feel that you are seen as black and therefore have experiences which align with those of black people? Perhaps people do see you as different?
I would definitely tell anyone who says this that you see yourself as mixed race, not black or white. They're idiots if they argue with you!
ask if you must..but dont label somebody from what you see.
nighttrains · 18/10/2020 21:14
I get that too OP, one parent is White, the other is Māori and I have been automatically classed as black on official forms in the UK 
I'm not Black, I'm not White but don't really fit in either. It happens online too, there is Black Mumsnet which obviously isn't a fit for me and the issues facing black people are different but so are the issues facing white people.
FiveFootTwoEyesOfBlue · 18/10/2020 21:14
The thing is that some mixed race people do consider themselves 'black'. I suppose people should check with you first before assuming.
I think at some point in the future people will look back shocked at how simplistic and ignorant it was to divide people into 'black' and 'white'. Much better to describe people as 'of __ heritage'.
NiceGerbil · 18/10/2020 21:15
Well I'm not black but I empathise from when the whole weistein thing happened and men at the coffee machine at work seemed to be red hot keen on asking my opinion 'as a woman'.
Then when I told them my opinion, they explained why I was wrong 
My work was very predominantly male and it felt quite. Like I was being singled out and challenged and expected to tell them stuff and engage in a 'debate' about it.
Possible answer.
Oh it is interesting isn't it. I'm from (wherever UK or Brazil or other place you were born), it's hard isn't it as outsiders to know what's going on really. What do you think?
timehealsmost · 18/10/2020 21:18
@BubblyBarbara
I used to think she was Hispanic.
OP. I never understood why for example Obama was lauded for being the first black president when he is actually mixed race.
Stinkyjellycat · 18/10/2020 21:18
I’m mixed too but I look white to most people (though sometimes people recognise me as Asian or half Asian). I hate being referred to as white when people actually know that I’m mixed. I’m proud of my heritage and when people refer to me as white it feels like a rejection of half of my family.
KenDodd · 18/10/2020 21:18
Yanbu op.
A friend of mine, also black/white mixed race, British, from the UK, has been described more than once as African American when in the US. To be clear, she lives in the UK, has an English accent and is neither African or American, neither are her parents, grandparents, great grandparents or great great grandparents. Some people just wouldn't have it though.
NiceGerbil · 18/10/2020 21:20
Time heals probably because of the one drop stuff the Americans were into until really not that long ago.
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/One-drop_rule
WhoWants2Know · 18/10/2020 21:20
I feel like it's off for someone to ask how you feel about a situation "as a black person", like that's all there is to your perspective.
I also feel that "black" as a descriptor isn't useful, especially in the UK where a people of colour can have widely differing heritage and ancestry.
marveloustimeruiningeverything · 18/10/2020 21:20
@BubblyBarbara
I think many people, including myself, don't see her that way at all. She looks quite white to me, perhaps with a bit of a tan.
She's also not 'black' ... she's mixed, as is the OP.
buildingbridge · 18/10/2020 21:20
Hmm... How would you mind if people said you were white? I assumed you would be please. Your post suggests, but you deny it, that you appear to dislike the blackness part of you. I'm mixed race, half white and black. Have the same issue... I don't see the big deal.... I just reiterate "as a mixed race woman...
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 18/10/2020 21:20
I always thought the idea that mixed race people are black came from the “one drop” rule/theory in the US. I tend to find black people over white people default to calling mixed people black.
As a mother of mixed children and mixed niece and nephew it would piss me off as my daughters should be equally proud of both sides of their heritage. African on their dads side, white Jewish on mine, know both histories etc.
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