Sick of being told I'm black

[Notjustblackandwhite]

Just this really. On Friday a white friend asked me what I thought of racism in the UK as a black person. I'm mixed race, I'm not black. My mum is white and my father is black Brazilian, but it doesn't seem to matter and I frequently get called black ''for ease'', by white people.

I have nothing against the ''black'' part of my heritage, but I'm at most one or two shades darker than Meghan Markle, and I feel as though an identity is being forced upon me, similarly to how your name might get changed because x and y have decided that your name is too "ethnic" to pronounce. I'm getting more and more worked up over this, and recently someone decided to tell me that I was being racist for being dismissive of being black.

AIBU to think that is really grating and makes me want to punch people sometimes (metaphorically of course)?

That's a difficult one because people often want to be known as 'black' and describe themselves as such, even if one parent isn't. Messing about with shades of black is 'shadeism'. Meghan M has described herself as 'black'. I have also been told that 'mixed race' is no longer politically correct; biracial is, apparently, goodness knows what you would call someone who is the product of more than two races.

Best not to say anything.

So do what I said

Yeah it's an interesting topic. Really hard to know what to think as an outsider. I was born in Norwich (or wherever) and I've not really seen anything. What do you think?

It's really rude to try to force: 'debates' with people you think are X that are sensitive especially if as someone not in that group all you're really looking for is to justify why you are fab/ it's not as bad as 'they' think (which is how it seems to go).

I've often wondered whether this frustrates mixed race people, as I see it so often. Weird how it's racist to judge someone by the colour of their skin, and yet the most fervent anti-racists can't shut up about it and act like it determines your character. Oh well, what would I know I guess, just another white person!

I assumed Megan Merkle was an olive skinned white person, so I don’t get the ‘obviously black’ thing either

I know some people consider a very small amount of black heritage to make the individual be black. I had wondered why this is so.

You are though mixed race and it feels like some people are told they have to identify as black. My cousin is mixed race and she identifies as white to some and mixed race to others. She is a quarter black and three quarters white and has white features with more dark tanned skin and dark hair.

I guess the important thing is how you see yourself not how others see you.

I can only imagine how annoying that would be OP!

It is entirely possible to identify as black when one is biracial or mixed race. It really isn’t a matter of having 100% black heritage. Someone above mentioned Barack Obama. He had a white mother, but his experiences in the world would no doubt have been very different if he had had a white father too. Race is a social construct in any case, and the experiences of an individual will certainly be informed by attitudes and assumptions of the culture he/she lives in.

Of course, the OP is perfectly entitled to define herself as mixed race if she wishes.

In the context of someone being mixed race as in 50% white and 50% black, people are pretty doomed either way when referring to someone as either "a black person" or a "a white person" because some like it one way and some the other....

I have another friend, also mixed race, black/white, she looks completely white, she even has blue eyes. She's one of five children and the only one that came out 'white'. She grew up with loads of 'milkman/postman' jokes. She says she feels sometimes that her black side is stolen from her, especially recently with the BLM movement. People, 8ncluding black people won't let her describe herself as black, she's even faced real hostility from people for doing so. She describes herself as 100% black and 100% white, she's not half anything, she's both.

"I don't feel able to comment on that as I'm not black; my mum is white English and my dad is Brazilian".
Would that satisfy / shut up all but the thickest-skinned enquirer?

It's none of their business though.

It's a rude question (demand).

I’ve thought the same with all the stuff Alisha Dixon has come out with recently about how people can kiss her black arse etc

I thought meghan was white (I freely admit i paid very little attention to her at first)

Correct people each and every time you are what you choose you are no one gets to define you but you

My DP and his sister are mixed race. His sister would and does say she is black. It's a personal thing I suppose and very difficult for those who do not know your choice

I frequently get called black "for ease", by white people.

I'm not surprised that rankles! It looks like black is being used as a euphemism for non-white. As pp said, it evokes the one drop rule; probably not my place to object but it bothers me too. How on earth does it help anyone to lump everyone who isn't a purebred snowman under one umbrella term?

To be honest though I'd be a bit annoyed in your shoes just by the addition of "as a black person" to the question. It's unnecessary and othering, to my mind.

I have no desire to erase my blackness, I love my skin colour and I love my hair, which I got from my dad. What I don't love is that half of my heritage is constantly erased in favour of the other, more acceptable half. If you are mixed race, but identity as black that is not at all a problem. Imagine though if I wanted to identify as white (not that I do); I'd be laughed out of town.

This has actually happened to me before. I had to tick one of those boxes where you state your ethnicity at school. The options were basically "black African", "Asian" or "White". So I ticked white as "mixed" or even "Black Carribbean" weren't options. I got the form back saying I'd ticked the wrong box. I really didn't want to tick the "white" box, but that was closest to my actual ethnicity according to that stupid form, but you are black so how could you tick white lol.

I assumed Megan Merkle was an olive skinned white person, so I don’t get the ‘obviously black’ thing either

So Meghan is White now!? Ok

I also though Megan Markle was white

Meghan was quite obviously black

I'm sorry but I have to disagree. I myself am from South East Asia so when I got to the UK I didn't know much about celebrity and royal stuff, and I swear to God that I had absolutely no idea that Meghan Markle was black until someone actually told me. I thought she was a white person with a tan. It is definitely not obvious.

I’m mixed too (not black though). Why can’t people realise that mixed race people can identify with 2 cultures? We’re half this and half that. We’re don’t choose just one. We’re mixed and proud

I think that when someone tells you something that to you is completely undebatable it is the most annoying thing ever. So frustrating.

People will still do it though and so if you can think of some stock answers it may help.

Also, while I think that Megan Markle is mixed race now, I always thought of her as black before all that stuff came out about her dad. So maybe its not always obvious, even though you think it is.

*we not we’re. I also don’t understand why people say MM is black. She’s mixed and I’m sure she’s happy to identify with both cultures.

Seriously? Aside from the fact that Meghan too is mixed race, she is not "quite obviously black" in my opinion

I never realised she was mixed race until all the racist stuff in the media!

I agree with the person above, it's a strange thing to ask a person to comment "as a black person" as if they have a hive mind. You all think alike!! I've just seen that Trump rally, and there were African Americans waving placards "blacks for Trump"!

I completely get it OP. I think it’s the result of a very unfortunate obsession with colour. I see it as racism dressed as anti racism and it annoys me.