My husband expects me to be glued to his children and it's driving me insane

[YatEe]

Nothing I do is fucking good enough.

He's accused me tonight of having an issue with the children and avoiding them because I caught up with a programme in another room whilst they were happily settled in the living room with headphones on, playing games this morning.

The funniest part about this is.... HE WAS OUT. I was looking after them so he could go out and do something.

Apparently I should have watched my programme on my tablet in the same room so we were 'spending time together' (whilst he was out...not spending time with us)

I've told him how rich that is considering he wasn't even here himself and that I don't see what the problem is.

I was in and out of the room, tidying up, asking if they needed anything, what were they watching etc...

They aren't tiny children for goodness sake (9 & 11), surely it's not a big deal that we spent an hour in separate rooms for the morning.

I'm so pissed off. Apparently I used to make more effort with things like painting with them, baking etc... I agree we did used to do more stuff, but that was when they were much smaller, they just aren't as interested in those things anymore. All they want to do is play games and he lets them. But I'm apparently supposed to make more effort?

He does this all the time. If I want to go somewhere on a contact day it's 'dont you want to see the children' etc... I feel fucking suffocated by it.

My granddaughter 11 some weekend we hardly see her she is in her room playing games

"He said 'how would you feel if it was our kid and I sat in another room to watch TV'"

Unsurprised because he can't even be in the house at the same time as the kids he already has?

My older two are 9 and 11 also and while they sometimes do like me to come sit with them while they are watching something on TV, if they're playing games, reading or chatting to friends online, that's their downtime that they don't need me for - and my chance to get on with something else in the next room!
Sounds like you are a wonderful stepmother and he doesn't appreciate everything you do.

@ContessaDiPulpo

if he wants to sit and watch them play mind numbingly boring video games all day that's up to him, I'm not doing it.

I suggest you go out on a Saturday morning and leave him to do just that! Give him warning that you're meeting a friend (ALONE) and then head out. He may realise he is being daft then.

Don't give him too much notice, though, as he may decide that quickly nipping out ahead of you will stop you from leaving.

Erm because it’s only Tuesday and she might come back to look

but why is it ok to go out when he doesnt have to and leave you babysitting regardles sof anything else

But OP, the thing is, what are you going to actually DO about all this? Have you and your husband come to a decision?

Crikey ... sometimes I don't sit in the same room as my own kids and they're much younger than your SC OP !!! If I want to read, do a bit of work or catch up on a TV Programme they can quite happily play together for an hour. I check on them and they come to me if they want anything but I don't ALWAYS sit in the same room. Its not like we're in separate wings of the castle !!!

You need to hit that 'youre their mother' shit right on the head. You aren't. It's good you care about them but they are 100% not your responsibility to parent. I used to believe being a step parent was the same as a parent but having lost contact with my ex's child I realise that was nieve. OH has two kids and while I'll be good to them and hopefully friends, you can't guarantee you'll be in their life one day to the next. He needs to be with them not you.