Money doesn't make you any happier

[Iris101]

AIBU to think this? Sarcastic replies accepted but........

I work with a guy who is on big bucks. He's never happy, because he uses all his money to fund an expensive lifestyle for himself and his kids including fee-paying school. He and his DW nearly split up two years ago - he admitted it was because they worried about how to meet all their bills/continue funding their lifestyle, and all they ever talked (argued) about in the evening was money.

I also work with a woman who is a part-time assistant in a Finance Team. She has three kids/married and earns about £16,000 pa. Comparatively, she is very happy. I asked her once why she didn't go for a promotion, and she just replied "I didn't want it. I never wanted it." She seems happy with her lot. Genuinely happy. She never talks about money as a problem. Whereas people who earn a lot, do.

I've met various people through the course of my working life who are big earners, and they all have something in common - money-related trauma, whatever shape that takes, it's there, lurking under the surface. One boss said to me once, "Money goes in, money goes out." He also worried endlessly about letting money go; it was a painful experience for him that he was constantly bugged for funding. And it showed on his face. He was miserable.

Now of course it's clear that to attain a certain level of comfort, you need to have enough money to meet your basic needs. But various studies over the years have shown that beyond this baseline, excessive levels of wealth have relatively low impact on an individual's state of happiness. Does money actually begin to lose it's value after a certain point? Once you've got enough money to buy whatever you want, does your wealth become meaningless? And once you've attained a state of wealth, do you just worry about it trickling away?

There was a story not long ago in the paper (can't remember which paper) about a modest working man who won the lotto. He said it ruined his life. The friends he had either abandoned him or got nasty when they expected him to give them money or buy them things, and he was attacked in the street by jealous neighbours. He said he was so unhappy he had contemplated suicide.

These are just examples that I can think of for the purposes of discussion. I'm sure there are lots of people who are wealthy and happy. As many to match the ones who aren't. But does money (or the acquisition of it) make for a good enough goal in order to attain happiness?

Giving a dissatisfied person a lot of money - I don't think it would make them any happier. In fact, quite the opposite. What do others think?

I think he has further to fall and the pressure to keep up that lifestyle may be why they argue.

A considerable amount of research has been done on this subject, and the results are fairly consistent. Being poor definitely makes you miserable - no surprise there. But after a certain point - a PP gave a higher figure but the research I've read indicates it's an income of about £70k a year - further money will add little or nothing to your state of happiness. Granted, that's about double the average annual wage in GB but it's not astronomic either.

The thing is, the more you earn, the higher your expectations are likely to be, and the wealthier the peer group to which you will compare yourself. If you're the best-off person in a fairly average part of town, you'll likely feel happier than being the least well-off person in a more affluent suburb, even if objectively your income is the same. Plus, we become adapted to material comforts very quickly, and there's always some shiny new possesion to aspire to.

I think when you don’t have any and can’t pay your bills you think money will fix everything. When you’ve got money you still find that you have other problems.

I'd be much happier if I won the lottery. For a start I could leave my stressful but relatively low paid job, which in turn would improve my mental and physical health. The stressing about rent, bills and housing security would disappear.

I'm not sure chasing promotion and making more money that way would make me happier though

My money helps to make me very happy, but it isn’t just the money of course. I also have happy relationships, health, great hobbies & friends.

However, money means I can enjoy life doing what I want in terms of holidays, nice food, going out, nice house etc.

It’s a bell curve. No money is a very unhappy place. As you gain wealth your happiness increases. At a certain point it becomes problematic. I have only heard tell of the unhappiness of wealth.

For what it’s worth, we have an income in the top 1% and I’m happy. I haven’t increased my expenditure to the top 0.5% though and that may be why it’s not stressful.

IMO, being able to go to bed at night with very few if any worries in life, be they health, financial security, personal stability etc., is what really makes most people happy.

You don't have to be Bill Gates to feel a sense of achievement and contentment.

I think once you take away the horrible stress horror of not having enough food, wondering if you can make it through the week, feed electricity meters, living in damp/poor quality/crowded housing etc etc. (which is maybe 50-100k for a family) then it becomes about the choices you make and whether you replace those stresses with new ones e.g. choosing private schools, staff, multiple homes, expensive cars/holidays.

I have had no money and times with significantly more than I needed (which I actually found stressful as new decisions needed to be made and that required a lot of energy in a number of ways.

Money = opportunities

All things being equal (health and relationships) not being poor makes for a much happier life.

It does help yes but I saw my boss big salary always highly stressed. It comes with its own pressures. But nice having it too

I think the old saying is 'Money can't buy happiness, but it makes unhappiness a lot easier' - and very true. However, I would choose health over wealth.

It's a very naive and/or privileged viewpoint to take. Lack of money can make people tremendously unhappy. If you've ever been in financial distress, you'll know that. It can drive people to suicide!

Having more money does not guarantee happiness, of course (you could have poor health, no real friends, etc.). But lack of money pretty much guarantees unhappiness. And if you know what you're doing, money can help "buying yourself" an escape route out of many unpleasant life situations (e.g. never having to worry about a broken appliance, always being able to get help with childcare or chores when you're ill, etc.)

Having enough can make life significantly easier. As to what constitutes 'enough', well that is very subjective. If I won say £50K on the lottery my choices around working, when I might retire, would be quite different. For others £50kmwould be a laughably amount

We have been a both ends of the spectrum, but what ever the situation we were always happy. The stress levels were hard when we were poor and I would never want to go back there, but if we did, we would be fine and survive. Money does give you freedom of choice, where you can live, what schools your kids can go to etc but fundamentally if you are not a happy person, what ever wealth you have you will still be a miserable person.

Of course it does - if means you can afford a roof over your head, food on the table, not having to worry where the next pay cheque to meet all the bills is coming from. There are some things money can't buy of course, but having cash in the bank means you at have one less thing to worry about as you try to mend your broken heart, recover from bereavement, cope with ill health etc. It's important to remember though that however much you have there will always be someone who has more than you which is why some people still feel poor on an income of £150,000 (or whatever seems like a king's ransom to you). It's easy to live beyond your means and feel like the poor relation if everyone you know earns more than you do and every penny you earn is accounted for the pay the mortgage and the school fees. It's all a question of perspective - ask people on here how much you need to feel rich and you'll get a very wide range of answers. You can be happy with relatively little money, but I'm willing to bet that those people don't actually feel poor because they have enough to meet their needs and mix with people on a similar income.

I think it depends on what you want out of life.
If you are bothered about earning, promotions and see striving for more money as being successful in life, then if you don't achieve that you won't be happy.

If you aren't governed by money and don't need it, much, then you will be happy without any.

It's where you place yourself in the world.

I think you've used slanted examples. The happy colleague on 16 K is married; perhaps her DP is loaded, or she inherited a packet.

The lottery winners life was not ruined by the money, it ruined by jealous resentment and envy from other people. If he'd kept quiet about the win or handled the situation differently, he might have greatly enjoyed his new wealth.

For almost 40 years  we've  had no debts,  and  enough money to buy and do whatever  we want. We earned this lifestyle ourselves.  It hasn't caused rows or worry  and  I'd recommend it to anyone.

I have nothing to add except an offer.

For anyone warning too much or who have too much in the bank, I'm happy to help you by taking the extra money off your hands. 3 DS, I'm unable to work at present and DH is on not much above minimum wage so we're a point way from the happiness threshold

Money doesn't necessarily make life fulfilling, but it makes life less stressful if you don't have bills you can't pay, and aren't starving or living with fuel poverty.

I know people who have a lot of money and they just buy stuff off Amazon day in, day out and I don't think they are happier for it, and I think they are more frightened of losing everything as it's a long way back down to poverty. They have the money, but I'm not sure they are fully taking advantage of the opportunities it brings and they don't know how to enjoy it. They are similar to your friend by the sounds of it.

I would be far happier if I could at least get on the housing ladder and could take my family on an adventure somewhere exotic, but I appreciate I can buy shoes if my kids need them and can scrape a week away somewhere in the UK. Struggling with bailiffs knocking on doors and living with food poverty would be miserable, however i'm frugal by nature and I think having a big lottery win wouldn't sit right with me either. I certainly wouldn't turn down adding another 20k to our household income though.

Well if you have £5 million then £6 million won't make you much happier but if you are using foodbanks then £10,000 will make you happier...it's all relative you know.

Statistically you're correct. Having insufficient money and living in poverty certainly makes you unhappy but people who win the lottery have in general only be shown to be happier for a year. After that they go back to being as happy as they were before.

Surely it is about living within your means? I know surgeons who have huge mortgages and huge cars, blood-sucking ex-wives and new wives with a penchant for designer tat. They spend all their time at work doing private work and still can't keep up. If high earners were more content with what they have, then maybe they would be happier?

I don’t think having money makes you happier but not having enough can make you sad and worried.
Being financially comfortable is one problem less in life.

@IMNOTSHOUTING

Statistically you're correct. Having insufficient money and living in poverty certainly makes you unhappy but people who win the lottery have in general only be shown to be happier for a year. After that they go back to being as happy as they were before.

This is known as 'reversion to the mean'. Major life events - both good and bad - have an impact on our happiness levels in the short term, but pretty soon, we return to our 'baseline' happiness level. This suggests that there may be significant genetic component to happiness.