Money doesn't make you any happier

[Iris101]

AIBU to think this? Sarcastic replies accepted but........

I work with a guy who is on big bucks. He's never happy, because he uses all his money to fund an expensive lifestyle for himself and his kids including fee-paying school. He and his DW nearly split up two years ago - he admitted it was because they worried about how to meet all their bills/continue funding their lifestyle, and all they ever talked (argued) about in the evening was money.

I also work with a woman who is a part-time assistant in a Finance Team. She has three kids/married and earns about £16,000 pa. Comparatively, she is very happy. I asked her once why she didn't go for a promotion, and she just replied "I didn't want it. I never wanted it." She seems happy with her lot. Genuinely happy. She never talks about money as a problem. Whereas people who earn a lot, do.

I've met various people through the course of my working life who are big earners, and they all have something in common - money-related trauma, whatever shape that takes, it's there, lurking under the surface. One boss said to me once, "Money goes in, money goes out." He also worried endlessly about letting money go; it was a painful experience for him that he was constantly bugged for funding. And it showed on his face. He was miserable.

Now of course it's clear that to attain a certain level of comfort, you need to have enough money to meet your basic needs. But various studies over the years have shown that beyond this baseline, excessive levels of wealth have relatively low impact on an individual's state of happiness. Does money actually begin to lose it's value after a certain point? Once you've got enough money to buy whatever you want, does your wealth become meaningless? And once you've attained a state of wealth, do you just worry about it trickling away?

There was a story not long ago in the paper (can't remember which paper) about a modest working man who won the lotto. He said it ruined his life. The friends he had either abandoned him or got nasty when they expected him to give them money or buy them things, and he was attacked in the street by jealous neighbours. He said he was so unhappy he had contemplated suicide.

These are just examples that I can think of for the purposes of discussion. I'm sure there are lots of people who are wealthy and happy. As many to match the ones who aren't. But does money (or the acquisition of it) make for a good enough goal in order to attain happiness?

Giving a dissatisfied person a lot of money - I don't think it would make them any happier. In fact, quite the opposite. What do others think?

But it buys a better class of misery!

Money gives you choices and freedom. I've grown up poor give me money any day.

Also, frankly - money is amazing. Being able to buy the food you need, have the heating on - it's incredible.

Not making ends meet makes you stressed and unhappy.
Having enough money to replace anything that breaks, go out for dinner, go on holiday without a thought for the cost makes me content. Being able to help friends and family in times of need is great.
Don’t think serious amounts of money would make me any happier.

As others have said, money makes life easier - and removes issues which prevent happiness.

You’re most likely going to be happier in life if you don’t have to worry about paying the mortgage/bills/rent, or working long hours/multiple jobs to do so. Lack of money is a huge stressor and can dominate your life as you worry about making ends meet.

Money can also buy you time. If you can afford to work fewer hours, can outsource things like cleaning to spend more time with your family, or can afford holidays and hobbies to relax and destress, you will probably be happier overall. There’s a reason people comfortably financially on average live longer than those who aren’t.

Money won’t stop things like getting cancer, or your spouse leaving you, but it can make your life a lot smoother.

I think you need enough to be comfortable. Anything beyond this does not add to your happiness. I am the part time woman in the equivalent of finance. Could not be less interested in promotion but got one anyway. I literally just worked out I have earned £500 extra in the last four months since promotion. I was Googling things to buy so I could feel like it's been worth it but just lost interest and thought what's the point... I want for nothing. I would pay £1000 back to drop the additional time and responsibility required by this unwanted promotion.

Money makes life easier.
In my experience women who are happy on lower income often have a partner/family on much much higher who share. Think millionaire daughter who works in flower shop.

I know a lot of people at every income level, and once you get to 'enough' (which is lower than £150k) there seems to be similar ratios of miserable:happy.

But not having enough is very very hard and I get very angry with those who don't acknowledge the awfulness of poverty.

I read something once (can't remember the source sorry) which said that lottery winners tended to revert to the same level of happiness as before the win after a short high.

It suggested that most people have an intrinsic happiness level (precluding significant difficulties such as actual poverty, bereavement etc) and that a financial gain doesn't really have an impact on that day to day.

My disposable income has increased year on year over the last 10 years but I wouldn't say I'm generally any happier than I was back then.

Depends where the money comes from too. For example, if I personally am doing a job which I hate or is making me ill, and my partner earns lots more than me, then I have the freedom to leave my job, which makes my life much much better. If my money comes from a job which I hate, then maybe I'm happier with less or am miserable with money because I'm trapped in the job.

I do think there’s a ‘ceiling’ of wealth and happiness. Once you have all of your financial needs met and can afford luxuries, I think there’s a certain point of happiness that can bring, but it doesn’t increase after that point even if your wealth levels do. If that makes sense.

It doesn't matter what you earn, you still manage to spend it.

i.e £10,000 - all spent on rent. bills, food, school uniform/clothes etc.
£100,000 pa - all spent on mortgage, school fees/ uniforms, designer clothes etc

People tend to spend as much as they earn, so although they may live in a nicer house, nicer area, nicer car etc, they're often not better off financially.

I'd describe this as '' a higher state of poverty'' state of mind.

Money doesn't necessarily bring happiness, but it often can, and usually does.

Whereas, a lack of money will almost ALWAYS bring misery and hardship, and will rarely bring happiness.

What I'm trying to say, is that money can bring happiness, and often does. It will rarely cause misery. A lot of problems can be solved by being financially solvent.

Whereas the lack of money will almost ALWAYS bring misery and hardship. And a lot of problems will be created by a lack of money.

Ask 10,000 people if they would rather be rich, or poor. The vast majority (probably 95% or more,) will say 'rich.' Who the hell would actively choose to be poor?

I’ve been at both ends of the scale. I had a child at 16 and lived in a damp, cramped council flat for nearly five years. I married DH, then things got gradually easier and easier over the last 20 years or so. Now he’s earning high six figures-I would def say we’re happier. We’ve stuck to a fairly modest lifestyle though. I certainly don’t miss the days when I had 20p to last me until my next pay day.

@dontdisturbmenow

I think only those who've experienced both can really tell but I have had quite a few wealthier friends making comments that money definitely doesn't make you happier.

I have experienced both and it's true that money doesn't bring happiness. I was happy when I was poor, the only downside was occasional money worries. Now we're very well off I'm just as happy, only now have to worry about certain jealous and grabby inlaws. Neither is better than the other and they take up just as much headspace.

Living in peace, having a loving partner, having children, being thankful for anything positive in your life, those are things that bring happiness. You can be happy living in a cardboard box as long as it's together with your loved ones and you cherish the time together.

I think that example of a mother of 3 earning 16k is silly as obviously she’d really struggle on that with 3 kids.

I agree that beyond a certain level, there’s little benefit to having more. However, it’s always nice to be able to throw money at a problem and it can take a lot of stress away.

Agree with others, there is an amount over which happiness doesn't increase. My household income is about x3 than it was about 10 years ago. Yesterday I visited somewhere that I last visited about 10 years ago, it gave me great happiness to be able to buy some expensive chocolate without a thought that I could not justify to myself to buy 10 years ago

If you live beyond your means, whatever they are, you're likely to find that very stressful. That goes for someone making £100k a year or £20k a year. The first example is clearly someone who, despite his generous salary, can't actually afford all the shit he's committed to. More fool him, I say.

Having had no money in my life, I disagree. I'm much happier with money than I am without it.

I agree in part with the sentiment. Enough money is all you need. The absence of enough is what causes unhappiness and arguments- Martin Lewis points out how many divorces have money as the root cause (cannot remember how much but it is significant).

Ambitious people tend to be also those who are the most satisfied.

*dissatisfied

@nosswith

I agree in part with the sentiment. Enough money is all you need. The absence of enough is what causes unhappiness and arguments- Martin Lewis points out how many divorces have money as the root cause (cannot remember how much but it is significant).

I remember I was once attended a funeral at a crematorium and when we arrived another family (attending a different service) were having a punch up in the car park! The staff managed to break it up and send them on through way. Got chatting to one of the staff later who said it had started over a row about inheritance and apparently it happens more than they would like to admit. Money can really bring out the ugliness in people.

I seem to remember a study a couple of years ago saying once you earn over about £70k, extra income makes no difference to your happiness. I also remember a study saying if you has a house of (I think) 400 sq ft per person having a bigger house doesn’t increase happiness.

Speaking personally, I don’t feel I’m any happier now on £125k than I was a year or so after graduation when I was on £40k. It’s nice to not have to weigh up how much a drink costs or to be able to stay in nicer places on holiday but it doesn’t make you happier.

BUT of course there is a threshold where you are actually struggling to pay the bills and have nothing left over, at which point of course money makes a huge, huge difference to your happiness.

I was talking with a bonkers rich woman ( think multi millions). She said that it’s totally spoiled going to out to eat. When you can afford the best of anything at any time, it’s tastes away the taste.
Maybe why most rich women are thin.

I mean sounds like a non problem but it’s nice going to special places sometimes. I can’t imagine what it’s like when nothing’s off limits.