To say to hell with the rule of 6 this Christmas

[Whatafustercluck]

We've been having discussions about who we should have over this Christmas should the rule of 6 still be in place in our region. We had talked to family and my parents wanted my dsis and niece to be able to spend Christmas with us, so the DC can at least be together. Ad a result, they've made alternative plans just the 2 of them. Dsis and her family will do something on their own because she and bil normally do anyway. So, our Christmas was going to be me, dh, our 2 dc, dsis and niece.

Since then, a good friend of ours has told us she has been having tests for ovarian cancer. The medical professionals have prepared her for the worst. The mass is huge. She is preparing herself to be told it's terminal and has already said she will not be having chemo or radiotherapy if it is stage 3. She's completely on her on her own on what could well be her last Christmas. We spoke yesterday and have invited her, meaning we will be 7 this Christmas. She has accepted, saying she doesn't care about shielding and is happy to take the risk.

Our neighbours are lovely and I think would totally understand if we explain. We just couldn't let her be on her own this Christmas after this news and the totally awful year she's already had. Likewise we cannot/ don't want to uninvite dsis.

Aibu?

@Xenia

The nation is divided over this. I would abolish all the mandatory rules and have been against them since March although I obey them.

You've made it clear that you think your botton line is more important that people's lives, bit luckily not everyone is a psycho.

@cassgate You clearly do not understand.

The more people there are in one confined space, the more risk there is of spreading it. This is partly as it's harder to keep apart unless you live in a mansion and also because you will all be using the same toilets.

You do understand that 70% of people are asymptomatic?

So ONE of your group of 12 could have it- and pass it on to 11 others.

In a group of 6, 1 person could have it and 'only' pass it on to 5.

So in A) 11 people could go back into the community and passi ton to 11 or 22 others.

And in B) 5 people could pass it on to 5 more, or 10 more etc etc.

Plus of course the 1 person originally infected.

[quote JinglingHellsBells]@cassgate You clearly do not understand.

The more people there are in one confined space, the more risk there is of spreading it. This is partly as it's harder to keep apart unless you live in a mansion and also because you will all be using the same toilets.

You do understand that 70% of people are asymptomatic?

So ONE of your group of 12 could have it- and pass it on to 11 others.

In a group of 6, 1 person could have it and 'only' pass it on to 5.

So in A) 11 people could go back into the community and passi ton to 11 or 22 others.

And in B) 5 people could pass it on to 5 more, or 10 more etc etc.

Plus of course the 1 person originally infected.[/quote]
No I really do understand. I could be asymptomatic and visit mil and fil and pass it on to them. I could then visit sil and nieces and pass it on to them also. I have infected the same number of people whether I do it in 2 separate visits or we meet up altogether in 1 house. They can then go out and pass it to other people. So yes I do understand how it works. However, the only way to prevent any of us spreading it to each other and therefore the wider population is if we do not see each other indefinitely. But that needs to apply to everyone at the same time. Lockdown basically. As it stands we are in a tier 1 area and numbers are falling not rising in our area. As a family we have decided we still want to see each other so will take the risks associated with that. Other than each other and going to work both myself and sil (we both work in schools) do not see anyone else. Both dh and bil are wfh. I have not seen my friends since February (sil since lockdown) as we have chosen to prioritise seeing our family. My children don’t go out much other than school but if they do go out they are mixing with the same friends as at school. My nieces are primary age so easy for my sil to limit what they do and who they see. There will always be a risk no matter what. People may not like what I am saying but unless you can put hand on heart and say you are not seeing anyone at all outside your own household you too also carry the risk of incubating the virus and passing it on to someone outside your household be it someone you know or a complete stranger. You can say the same about other viruses too which also kill the vulnerable but we don’t worry about those on an everyday basis.

@BarcyDussell

Also *@Whatafustercluck* unless your friend's cancer is terminal- and it may well not be- you risk giving her Covid unless you all self isolate for 2 weeks or take a test.

How would you feel if she is having treatment and has a good chance of recovery and then you or your family pass covid on to her?

I think you are being a bit thoughtless to plan ahead when anything could happen, either way.

I think as long as everyone isolates for 2 weeks beforehamnd, it should be fine.

The risk is not it being 7, but that one of you passes the infection on to her - and given her illness and treatment, she will be immunocompromised.

Obviously, if she is so poorly that catching Covid won't make any difference to the likely outcome and timeframe (sorry to sound morbid) then it genuinely doesn't matter what you do, but the risk of you giving her Covid and thus avoidably shortening the time she has left should at least be discussed.

[quote AdoptAdaptImprove]@cassgate it’s not about the risk to you, but the risk you then carry away to their people. God forbid any of you need help from a stranger one day, lacking as many of you do any sense of what it means to behave as part of a wider society.

I’m now understanding how COVID is still spreading so fast despite all the mitigation in place, given the attitude shown here.[/quote]
I'm inclined to agree. It seems that huge numbers of people are just finding any excuse to do exactly as they please and nothing can stop them. I find that frightening.

YADefinitelyNBU. This is a far better reason to go over than the millions of other people who will ignore it entirely.

I am anticipating not being able to have anyone in my house on Xmas day - not sure if I will stick to it or not yet
Some of it will depend on weather forecast

Yanbu Op and I’d do the same as you. You sound like an amazing friend. I certainly wouldn’t be telling anyone if you lived near me.

We are having 8 (luckily we live in the arse end of no where and my nearest neighbours are about half a mile away) and it’s the 2 neighbours (who I am in their support bubble) and my parents who are joining us.

2 of these are children I hope they cut the kids from the rule.

I don’t get why I can have 2 separate groups of 6 at different times but I can’t have 8 people 2 of whom will be here from Christmas Eve to Boxing Day 🤷‍♀️

Who the fuck is saying YABU and would therefore leave a dying woman alone at Christmas?!

@ShesMadeATwatOfMePam

Who the fuck is saying YABU and would therefore leave a dying woman alone at Christmas?!

Not quite true. Several of us have suggested having the friend over but reducing the risk to her by not also having the sister and niece.

From what I’ve seen the OP hasn’t said her friend has had a terminal diagnosis, either - but she is clearly very ill, so will need to be careful to minimise her exposure to people carrying not just COVID, but flu, colds, noro, etc.

Go for it OP.
I don't think Boris's ego will let him be labelled as the PM who cancelled Christmas so somehow between now and then restrictions will be made stricter and then be eased so people forget the mess he's made of covid and start calling him a hero for saving christmas.

We’re having more than 6, we’ll pay the fine if we need to. YANBU.

Agree you should just do it op. No one is worried about people with 7 round a dinner table. It's the raves with hundreds of people that are a problem.

Go for it! I wouldn't dream of discussing my plans with my neighbours - and surely on Christmas morning, they'll have better things to do than be twitching the curtains counting your guests. And even if they don't - what proof do they have?