Pissed off two friends as won't share my baby things

[Pollypockett23]

I've upset two friends by not sharing my baby things. It's my first baby and I have bought everything brand new.

Both are pregnant and both have been pestering to borrow things. Neither have asked outright but have been hugely hinting eg. Can't try things on in maternity stores etc. I've just said you don't really get maternity clothes in store anymore, most is online anyway.

I feel really under pressure and don't want to share my things. One has recently married a millionaire - I don't know why she would want my second hand stuff?

I just want to keep everything new but feel under massive pressure. Am I being unreasonable?

One friend is strapped for cash but has chosen to have a baby. I don't feel I should have to fund her lifestyle choice?! I did give her a bag of things - maternity clothes - and she turned her nose up at them and hasn't worn them since. They were all brand new but things I hadn't spend hundreds on.

I’ve never understood the borrowing of baby clothes and things. I'd be too terrified of something happening to them and having to return them in a 'state'.

OP, YANBU. In the slightest. Doesn't matter if borrowing is better for the environment or if it's what 'friends do'. Friends don't try to pressure you into lending out your baby stuff by laying on the emotional manipulation when you've said no. Comments behind your back about it are just bitchy and laying on the uncomfortable atmosphere.

Also re the 'judgements' you made. If a mate of mine had recently married and was having a baby with a fecking millionaire I'd wonder what the Hell she was on still wanting to borrow my old things. The other half of this - strapped for cash but still having a baby......aye, there'll be a brigade of people in here who will trot out about having a baby for cheap and how if it's what you truly want you MUST do it. In the real world people will raise more than a fecking eyebrow if a mate of all things decides to add a baby into her financial calamity. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Sistine me neither! They get shat on, weed on, sicked on and yet people think they're some long-lasting commodity to be shared and re-used!

Bloody weird!

@Ispywithmycynicaleye

Im still awaiting an apology ...

BlueThistles

@ISPYWITHMYCYNICALEYE

I THINK YOU WILL FIND IT WAS ....

@WINNIESTONE37

WHO ACTUALLY SAID THIS...

You don’t have to lend anything just say so. Your comment ‘ fund her life style choices’ is revealing. You sound mean.

and my actual reply to that post WAS ...

She sounds HONEST.

and Im curious ... why should she fund her friends life style choices ?

Wow! Sorry, I have no idea how I managed to copy your name into that post! I read yours and totally agreed with it! It was absolutely meant for @WINNIESTONE37

BlueThistles

@Ispywithmycynicaleye

Im still awaiting an apology ... Sorry I fell asleep with my lo and only just saw your posts. Nothing worse than accidentally having your name tied to someone else's shitty post so I apologise again!

You “friends” are cheeky fuckers OP. Not so much for the original ask, that’s fair enough, but after you said no for dismissing your reply and doubling down on you sharing your new things and getting other people onside to pressure you too.

Friends do not do that. After you said about trying for another true friends would be oh ok and leave it there.

Have you been generous in the past about other things? I know you mentioned maternity clothes but I’m thinking paying for coffee for all of you or lunch out?

@Ispywithmycynicaleye

thank you 🌺

and sorry .. I was being rude too.. I was confused tbh 🤣

You sound massively hard work OP. Do you always create a drama out of nothing? Just say "I get the vibe you want to borrow them but I'm not lending things out, sorry" and that's it done.

[quote BlueThistles]**@Ispywithmycynicaleye

Im still awaiting an apology ...

[/quote]
That's properly made me laugh. Cheers man

Im having a bad morning lol sorry 😂

I don't understand why anyone on this post deems you mean.

In all reality if it were me, I would likely keep the good stuff until I'd finished having children and then give things away or sell them on gumtree. But you don't owe either of them any explanation.

With these friends, I'd be very unlikely to give them the high value items, even when you are finished having babies purely because they are so utterly entitled.
They sounds like assholes and I can't believe the audacity of them.

BlueThistles

@Ispywithmycynicaleye

thank you 🌺

and sorry .. I was being rude too.. I was confused tbh 🤣

Not at all 😂 I can imagine you were like when you saw your name 😂

@Cakeandcustard123

You sound massively hard work OP. Do you always create a drama out of nothing? Just say "I get the vibe you want to borrow them but I'm not lending things out, sorry" and that's it done.

Are you aware the thread moved on since OP's 1st post? Clearly you haven't RTFT. She DID tell her DF no! It DIDN'T put a end to it! Her DF refused to accept it and continues to try forcing her hand, including dragging her wider circle of friend into it making her feel / look bad.

That was aimed at the right person this time, I double checked

Wow what a rude reply from your friend :/ YANBU

Your stuff is probably really nice and perhaps expensive and they would like it. You have no obligation to give/lend them anything especially if you intend to have another baby in the future. Bloody cheeky of them tbh.