To say third marriages....

[PinkAndFabulous]

Are nothing to be ashamed of?

I'm always really interested in the stories behind the number of marriages, but don't usually judge. The only exceptions are my BIL (married and divorced twice before my sister, had affairs both times and the first two wives were cousins. Also engaged to someone else while shagging my sister.) and also a friend who had 5 husbands and married each one for a separate stupid reason (to leave home, because her husband found out about her affair and divorced her, because she felt sorry for him, because his friends thought she should, because she thought he had money).

@EdwardCullensBiteOnTheSide

Twice is acceptable. We all make mistakes. Three times is foolish.

I'm married a second time. I was widowed. I didn't make a mistake!!! I don't need your acceptance!

Ashamed no. I might wonder if they habitually rushed into things but it’s not really my business unless it’s me they’re marrying!

In most circumstances no, there’s no shame in being happily married!...However, an ex colleague of mine was on to her third marriage before she got to 40...she’s exceptionally pretty and was basically just trading up each time she found one more wealthy...felt really sorry for no’s 1 & 2...and am wondering whether 3’s the actual jackpot or if she’s got another one or two in her yet...

My friend got married at 16 to escape a horrible home life and was divorced by the time she was 18. She remarried at 24 to a really nice guy. For various and many reasons they divorced at 38. They stayed friends. My mate remarried again at 46 and this guy is a knob head. He seemed alright when we first met him but she couldn't wait to divorce.
I think she will marry again but not for a while!

I can't be arsed judging anyone about their marriages.

like @queenrollo I'm on my 1st but his 3rd. the first abused him, he left eventually, no 2 cheated on him but they co-parent civilly.
Married 5 years, together 8 and have a child. we eloped as neither wanted a big wedding.
Personally I don't judge (am in no position to!) but those on their 5th or 6th I do wonder at!!

It would depend on how they ended to be honest.

Ended because of a death or abuse? Fair enough.

Cheating? 'We'll see you at the next one' would probably be in the card.

Depends on the context - it's not an automatic judgement for me at all. My FIL is on his third marriage - he's had three massive white weddings too. First wife he left because he was cheating on her with the nanny, he then dumped the nanny and married the secretary he'd been shagging behind her back for EIGHT YEARS.

He's got 6 kids he can't afford (and who mostly won't speak to him) because of the messy divorces, and my current MIL is pregnant with number 7, they've got a 2 year old already and they can't be bothered with him at all . I def judge both of them.

@Blimeyoreilly2020

In most circumstances no, there’s no shame in being happily married!...However, an ex colleague of mine was on to her third marriage before she got to 40...she’s exceptionally pretty and was basically just trading up each time she found one more wealthy...felt really sorry for no’s 1 & 2...and am wondering whether 3’s the actual jackpot or if she’s got another one or two in her yet...

I knew a woman who did this. It was sort of shocking to watch. She had a child with each one and I felt terrible for the poor things.

Honestly, a lot of weddings are ridiculous ( and tedious!) whether first, second or third.

They just like parties.

Married twice here, first time I was 19 and pregnant to a man from a very traditional conservative family where marriage was the only option. We had 2 children together and realised pretty early on that we were not each others soul mates, divorced by 23. Second marriage was when I was 30, genuinely tried everything I could to make it work but his alcohol and mental health issues made it a losing battle. After 11 years together and 2 more children I admitted defeat and walked away with my babies and pretty much nothing else.
I have now been with the love of my life for 13 years, not desperate to marry but wouldn't rule it out.
The 'white wedding' isn't my thing but who am I to judge people for it. If it makes them happy and brings them joy then I'm all for it. Life is too short to live your life worrying about what other people think!
2 divorces was absolutely not what I wanted in my life but I have the most beautiful children out of them and I have no regrets. I'm 52 with 3 long term relationships that have spanned 32 years, that's nothing to be ashamed of.
Live your life ladies, if you want to wear white and dance on a table at your 5th wedding more power to you.

My dad is my mum's third husband. Although she didn't have a big wedding for any of her marriages, so does that make it OK?

They've been married 37 years.

Her first husband was an abusive, violent piece of shit, a rapist, adulterous and more!

Her second husband (partly as a result of the impact of first marriage on her I believe) was just not a good match and would never have worked long term. Although perhaps she should have stayed with him to avoid being judged for the horror and shame of having three marriages under her belt?

Knowing my family they'd stop attending my wedding after number 1 lol

In general no, except perhaps for a dirty old man marrying a much younger woman.

One of my friends has been married three times. First one was when she was very young, she got married again mid 30s for about 7 years and then married a third time a couple of years after that. This marriage is now on 12 years and seems to be going strong.

I honestly don’t care!
I got married once when I was very young, nearly married ex-dp and I’m now in (including marriage) my third long-term live in relationship. I’ve got no intention of getting married but really that’s because I can’t see the point. We’ve got no dc together and I don’t want to tie myself to him financially forever. A party would be nice but I don’t want a legally binding contract thanks very much. He feels the same, although would be less keen on a party!

I think that for most people third marriages represent the triumph of hope over experience! But rather a happy third marriage than a long and miserable first one.

I think that for most people third marriages represent the triumph of hope over experience! But rather a happy third marriage than a long and miserable first one.

Exactly!

@lugeanjaam

Married twice here, first time I was 19 and pregnant to a man from a very traditional conservative family where marriage was the only option. We had 2 children together and realised pretty early on that we were not each others soul mates, divorced by 23. Second marriage was when I was 30, genuinely tried everything I could to make it work but his alcohol and mental health issues made it a losing battle. After 11 years together and 2 more children I admitted defeat and walked away with my babies and pretty much nothing else. I have now been with the love of my life for 13 years, not desperate to marry but wouldn't rule it out. The 'white wedding' isn't my thing but who am I to judge people for it. If it makes them happy and brings them joy then I'm all for it. Life is too short to live your life worrying about what other people think! 2 divorces was absolutely not what I wanted in my life but I have the most beautiful children out of them and I have no regrets. I'm 52 with 3 long term relationships that have spanned 32 years, that's nothing to be ashamed of. Live your life ladies, if you want to wear white and dance on a table at your 5th wedding more power to you.

I love this. Glad you found happiness. I’ve heard LTRs bring described as “seasons” and certain seasons come to an end. And that’s fine. Glad you found happiness with the love of your life 💙

@nosswith

In general no, except perhaps for a dirty old man marrying a much younger woman.

"I don't judge people for their behaviour, just for their age and gender". You sound lovely.

I had three failed marriages, I am 35 (first time married at 17). Never again

@TrollTheRespawnJeremy

I think 3 is pretty ridiculous. Very poor decision making unless you're unfortunate enough to be widowed twice. (In which case- surely you're a suspect by now.)

🤣

@Honeydukesmum

Newmumatlast - thank you. I will definitely continue to think about it especially after this munchkin appears. Will definitely be a quiet thing ( although last time was literally the 2 of us as the state we married in doesn’t need witnesses )

Good. Do what makes you happy. On your death bed will you care about what other people think? Of course not. You'll be thinking about your life with those you love xx

My grandmother is on her 3rd marriage.

1. Married young, happy enough, kids & council house etc. But weren't happy by the time the children grew up.

1. Literally fuck knows ... an insane alcoholic who she had known for a month after he knocked on her front door asking for odd jobs. He robbed her on their wedding night and ran off into the night.

1. A very lovely man who appears to make her very happy and vice versa

My Mum will be having her 3rd marriage next year.

Don’t know what happened to the first one (she never talks about it), 2nd one was my Dad and he ran off with another woman, she had several partners in between but broke off her long term relationship (abusive a hole), and is marrying a guy she’s known a year. My Dad is on his 3rd divorce. Some people are just quite dysfunctional when it comes to relationships.

I would never remarry. I personally don’t think it’s romantic the second time when you have children/ assets to think about, it becomes more of a business transaction that can do more harm than good.