Page 5 | To wonder why there are so many posts about how shit being a mum is?

changednamealways · 2020-10-13T19:49:38+00:00

I get there will always be people struggling, and things like PND play a big part. But everything is so doom and gloom and everyone on here seems to despise being a mum. Am I the only one who thinks it's not that bad, more the best thing I've ever done? Why do people find this so boring and I find it amazing? And that is with having PND for 3 months after ds was born

Krankie · 14/10/2020 00:15

YANBU. I find these threads difficult to read so avoid them now. I feel awful for the kids.

Any posters who are happy with their decision to have children are labelled smug, annoying or just plain lying to themselves.

This isn’t just venting, which would be understandable, there are several posts about how children ruined their lives/nobody told them how awful it was, women are tricked into motherhood etc.

Feel almost the odd one out for enjoying being a mum!

Cadent · 14/10/2020 00:15

@OuiOuiKitty and OP

Where did I say that people can’t be happy?!

Look at the bit quoted.

It’s the ‘i couldn’t write that stuff, I’d feel so guilty’ that I find so twee and contrived.

Original poster

changednamealways · 14/10/2020 00:16

@Krankie

YANBU. I find these threads difficult to read so avoid them now. I feel awful for the kids.

Any posters who are happy with their decision to have children are labelled smug, annoying or just plain lying to themselves.

This isn’t just venting, which would be understandable, there are several posts about how children ruined their lives/nobody told them how awful it was, women are tricked into motherhood etc.

Feel almost the odd one out for enjoying being a mum!

You explained my point a lot better than me haha thank you

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Original poster

changednamealways · 14/10/2020 00:16

[quote Cadent]**@OuiOuiKitty* and OP*

Where did I say that people can’t be happy?!

Look at the bit quoted.

It’s the ‘i couldn’t write that stuff, I’d feel so guilty’ that I find so twee and contrived.[/quote]
Again, why is that so hard to believe?

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Cadent · 14/10/2020 00:18

To people who can't have kids, or to the kids who didn't ask to to be born but are accused of making your life shit

What utter rot. Do you seriously believe what you’re writing?! It’s an anonymous bloody forum the children don’t know!!

Cadent · 14/10/2020 00:23

Again, why is that so hard to believe?

It’s judgemental, and women who post about the reality of motherhood tend not to be judgemental.

Original poster

changednamealways · 14/10/2020 00:24

@Cadent fair enough, like I said I personally would feel guilty writing it even anonymously. If you're writing it on here then that's how you feel in real life and your child is going to feel that resentment whether you try to hide it or not. As a parent you assign your entire life to the person you created and bitching endlessly about someone you should love unconditionally seems wrong to me

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Original poster

changednamealways · 14/10/2020 00:25

@Cadent

Again, why is that so hard to believe?

It’s judgemental, and women who post about the reality of motherhood tend not to be judgemental.

It's judgemental for me to feel guilty if I were to write awful things about my child? Not getting you tbh

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Namechange8471 · 14/10/2020 00:26

Because we are now living in unprecedented times!!
Covid, the economy, everything is a million times harder and different.
It affects the way we feel, act and parent.
Plus babies/children are really boring.

Smallfry79 · 14/10/2020 00:30

Just a point for those who ask why have more than one if you hate it so much? It could be that they didnt realise they hated it at the point of having the 2nd or even 3rd. I didnt hate being a parent when kids were babies or toddlers even though some days were tough. There have been plenty of days since the children got older that i have really had enough of it. The constant worry the ingratitude, the senseless chatter, the lack of control the feeling that you arent a good enough parent, that everyone else seems to be doing it better. The balance between being the parent you think you should be, the one you have the energy to be and the one your kids are prepared to tolerate is constant.
I didnt experience this with my youngest until he was 5 and issues became apparent in school or with my oldest until he was 12. So to be honest im lucky i didnt have 3 or 4 before I realised i really dont like parenting.
And of course when any child goes wrong, is unhappy etc it is always the mothers fault. They obviously didnt parent properly show enough love discipline etc.
Also and i know this doesnt go down well with a lot on here but unplanned pregnancies are in reality very common.

Crazymemo · 14/10/2020 00:30

How old are your children OP?

OuiOuiKitty · 14/10/2020 00:32

Plus babies/children are really boring

I would presume that people who feel that way wouldn't have kids?! You wouldn't go oh Milton Keynes is really boring let's move their for the next 18+ years the same surely applies to procreation.

Original poster

changednamealways · 14/10/2020 00:33

@Crazymemo

How old are your children OP?

3 and 5 months

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YoureRight · 14/10/2020 00:35

It’s people who witter on about ‘it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but....er.... so worth it..since it’s societally unacceptable to say otherwise’ who make it difficult for others. I am staunchly, proudly childfree, I have seen and heard how appalling in every possible way people’s lives are once they chose to force someone into existence on a dying planet for their own whims, believe them. Believe women when they tell you the realities of breeding. It only gets worse with each year. It does not get easier as the consumer gets older. Contraception is free, the misery of parenting has never been more expressed, pick wisely.

Hangingover · 14/10/2020 00:36

I would presume that people who feel that way wouldn't have kids?! You wouldn't go oh Milton Keynes is really boring let's move their for the next 18+ years the same surely applies to procreation

I'm child free but I do remember being told a lot that "it's different when they're you're own" and "you'll change your mind".

Original poster

changednamealways · 14/10/2020 00:36

@YoureRight wow that's depressing

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EmeraldShamrock · 14/10/2020 00:38

Not everyone finds it easy to love.
It is tough on the DC there is a huge difference in having a bad day and hating motherhood.
I adored my DM but she was human and had bad days/weeks.
I'm truly sorry for those who didn't feel wanted or loved.

YoureRight · 14/10/2020 00:40

This thread should be solely focussed on how women are indoctrinated from infancy, to breed, conform, obey, be vessels for sperm, incubate, glow. If you aren’t loving every second, medicate yourself, produce another. In reality, put the focus on the males ejaculating with abandon, and the poor fuckers left with a dying planet, food and water shortages, and abject misery. For what?

Original poster

changednamealways · 14/10/2020 00:41

@YoureRight

It’s people who witter on about ‘it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but....er.... so worth it..since it’s societally unacceptable to say otherwise’ who make it difficult for others. I am staunchly, proudly childfree, I have seen and heard how appalling in every possible way people’s lives are once they chose to force someone into existence on a dying planet for their own whims, believe them. Believe women when they tell you the realities of breeding. It only gets worse with each year. It does not get easier as the consumer gets older. Contraception is free, the misery of parenting has never been more expressed, pick wisely.

"It only gets worse with each year" no it doesn't for most and how do you actually know if you've not had any? You sound like you live a miserable life, sorry

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YoureRight · 14/10/2020 00:42

Yeah, I find people who chose to force someone into existence depressing. Such misery and dreadful futures, if only the unprotected shaggers had put any thought at all in to their choices.

Original poster

changednamealways · 14/10/2020 00:43

@YoureRight

This thread should be solely focussed on how women are indoctrinated from infancy, to breed, conform, obey, be vessels for sperm, incubate, glow. If you aren’t loving every second, medicate yourself, produce another. In reality, put the focus on the males ejaculating with abandon, and the poor fuckers left with a dying planet, food and water shortages, and abject misery. For what?

That has nothing to do with the OP so no it shouldn't be focused on that

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Original poster

changednamealways · 14/10/2020 00:44

@YoureRight

Yeah, I find people who chose to force someone into existence depressing. Such misery and dreadful futures, if only the unprotected shaggers had put any thought at all in to their choices.

Oh gosh, you poor thing! Again, not everyone is miserable and some people do actually lead happy lives 😳

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YoureRight · 14/10/2020 00:44

Oh, don’t fret, my life is bliss. Posts every day on this site about how awful people’s offspring are, how it gets harder emotionally each year, from teens onwards. People who have pre schoolers/kids/tweens etc hoping it’ll improve, and posters saying ‘nope’. Not my lifestyle choice, but hey, enjoy! 😄

YoureRight · 14/10/2020 00:47

Awful lot of replying for someone finding wiping arses ‘amazing’ 😄 I could not be less interested in threads about banging out offspring, but cool story, op, I’m away to enjoy my childfree home ✨🥰

Smallfry79 · 14/10/2020 00:48

@YoureRight

This thread should be solely focussed on how women are indoctrinated from infancy, to breed, conform, obey, be vessels for sperm, incubate, glow. If you aren’t loving every second, medicate yourself, produce another. In reality, put the focus on the males ejaculating with abandon, and the poor fuckers left with a dying planet, food and water shortages, and abject misery. For what?

😂😂😂 wow that is the funniest thing Ive read in ages. Poor women with no choice but to be the vessels for sperm ejaculated with abandon🤣🤣