To wonder why there are so many posts about how shit being a mum is?

[changednamealways]

I get there will always be people struggling, and things like PND play a big part. But everything is so doom and gloom and everyone on here seems to despise being a mum. Am I the only one who thinks it's not that bad, more the best thing I've ever done? Why do people find this so boring and I find it amazing? And that is with having PND for 3 months after ds was born

I do love my children, but they often drive me bonkers and I absolutely hate the housework that comes with them, I’m really bad at it. Luckily I have a dh who more than pulls his weight (has his faults of course but he does more housework than me) a full time well paying career that pays for a cleaner and good childcare, and 3 (currently) healthy children. Overall I enjoy motherhood. However, if I was a single mum, or had a husband who was more of a hindrance than a help, or children with significant additional needs, or even if I was a full time SAHM who had to do all the domestic work, it would be a very different matter. I’m not maternal enough to think I would enjoy the endless drudgery then. Everybody is in different circumstances with different resources.

@BewilderedDoughnut to regret having your children must be pretty hard on the kids no?

@Beaverdam100 that makes me happy to hear, I thought this was the general consensus with most people is all

People here are moaning about being bored with parenting. We should be grateful, some parents are watching their kids starving across the world and would do anything to be in our positions.

This

I don't get why people who have issues with their first go on to keep on having kids then complain about hard it is, I don't get the constant martyrdom

@ConiferGate I used those emojis because I was shocked how far you actually went with that particular point, you are the one calling names!😬 I think you may have got too upset by a post which was asking why people find parenting boring

@changednamealways nope, you used them because you thought it was funny. And you got called on it.

@ConiferGate no I didn't? This has taken a strange turn, tbh I'm finding this a bit a bit funny, and pointless 😂

This is a shit country to be a woman and a mother in.

@RedSquirrelGreySquirrel seriously? This is one of the best countries in the world in which to be a woman. I can only think of a handful that might be better. Try living somewhere like Saudi Arabia if you want to know what a shit country to be a woman in is really like!

People here are moaning about being bored with parenting. We should be grateful, some parents are watching their kids starving across the world and would do anything to be in our positions.

There’s always someone worse off than you somewhere in the world. Does that mean no one should ever be able to post about any issues they are struggling with?

@Wearywithteens

Don’t forget that Covid has brought into sharp relief that men can largely clock in and out of work at set times, work uninterrupted, and do hobbies and take time to relax but women are seen as the default 24/7 childcare, arse wipers and bottle washers. Most of us didn’t dream of that growing up and feel overwhelmed by it. So women blame the trap of motherhood (or themselves) instead of expecting higher parenting standards of their useless lazy arsehole partners.

Yep. And those are the men that haven't buggered off, of which there are many. Imagine if women left their dc to the same degree. Women don't tend to bolt very often and therefore deserve the right to complain occasionally.

I don't mind people having a vent about their problems on here, and that includes parenting.

But I do find it a little strange when they say that "no one ever told me" or "people keep it a secret" that parenting is hard and many people hate it. Really? Visit this forum and you will see 2-3+ threads A DAY on that subject. If you have access to the internet, hundreds of thousands of articles and posts saying exactly this are just a click away. I'm sorry but you were told.

Oh yes, and the posts saying "totally agree OP, I've got six and it's horrible". You have six children, why didn't you tell yourself!

I feel the same. Thread after thread of parents talking about how much they hate their kids.
My kids are awesome and I love being a parent. I've loved every single stage so far.

My mother hated being a mum, we hated her being our mum too. Growing up without love is miserable. The mums here think they are hiding it but kids know, they are kids not stupid. We've all done OK as adults and although her lack of care has certainly left its mark those of us who have kids in my family are breaking that cycle(my biggest fear when I was pregnant with my 1st was that I would be like her). My heart really goes out to the kids affected by this, I hope they know that once they get away it will be OK, you can heal and grow and there's so much love out there and they are worthy of it, no matter what their mothers taught them.

when I think about it I couldn't write some of the stuff people do, even anonymously, I'd feel so guilty

I’m always wary of people like you OP who pretend that butter wouldn’t melt in your mouth.

I find people who are honest about things, rather than the #blessed #livingmybestlife brigade, much more believable and human.

YANBU. There are tough times and bad days but I would never, ever say it's shit being a parent. I think that's so horrible and disrespectful - and yes, I have a tough time too. I have a terminally ill partner that I have to do everything for, I run the house alone, work full time (from home at the moment) and have a lovely three year old who has her moments and days of being not so lovely. Life is extremely stressful at times and very busy but I would never say being a parent is shit!

It's tough, there might be times you don't enjoy it so much and things you don't like doing but it's rude, ungrateful and spiteful to be and it all shit.

Personally, I love being a mother. It is the best thing I ever did and I adore my children. BUT....my god, it's hard! It's the hardest job in the world and I think we're entitled to an anonymous moan. Especially when you're balancing a full time job, other family commitments, volunteering, health issues and money worries. It's stressful and it's tiring and it gets you down...I don't get how you don't understand that?

Becasue venting or having a moan is not that same as saying it's shit and you hate being a parent!

I would never, ever say it's shit being a parent. I think that's so horrible and disrespectful

Disrespectful to who?!

Your self-worth must be really low if you’re offended by other women taking about shit parts of motherhood!

*I’m always wary of people like you OP who pretend that butter wouldn’t melt in your mouth.

I find people who are honest about things, rather than the #blessed #livingmybestlife brigade, much more believable and human.*

Why would you readily believe the people that say it is shit but not the ones who love it? I find it an absolute pleasure and an honour to be able to watch my children grow from helpless babies who look at you as their world to the teens/preteens they are now that are growing more independent and with big whole personalities of their own.
I don't think anybody is saying they don't have bad days, I love my job, my business but I have bad days at work. In the same way I love my kids but have bad days as a parent but I have never felt that parenting is shit or regretted doing it.

@Cadent why is it so hard to believe some people are actually happy with what they've got in life?

I'm a few days overdue with my first and that thread made me feel awful. I hope it isn't all dreadful.

@Cadent

I would never, ever say it's shit being a parent. I think that's so horrible and disrespectful

Disrespectful to who?!

Your self-worth must be really low if you’re offended by other women taking about shit parts of motherhood!

To people who can't have kids, or to the kids who didn't ask to to be born but are accused of making your life shit

@roarfeckingroarr it isn't. It's amazing. It's the hardest thing you will ever do, emotionally and no physically, but the rewards are worth it. Good luck, you're in for an adventure :)