That if you work from home

[forfoxsakee]

9-3 and you live with another person who does 13 hour shifts and leaves at half 6 in the morning and gets home at 9 at night that you take on most of the household stuff? E.g when the person comes home they should come home at night to a clean and tidy house, bathroom cleaned/kitchen cleaned/garden tidied and a meal cooked? There are no children in the home.

Everyone should tidy after themselves and if you’re a cohabiting couple, you share the housework.

Wow so not just all the housework but a meal cooked and garden done!? Yabu

Nope

I'm guessing the 13 hour shift prison
Only does it 3 days a week?

So plenty of time to do their own share of cleaning/shopping/cooking the other days

I would say yes to meal cooked, the others should be shared out- surely the shift worker doesn't do 13 hour days every day?

If no dc involved then yes I would expect the home worker to do a lot of the housework. I would not expect them to do it all, working longer hours does not absolve you of all responsibility in the home

Is this a reverse?

So the 13 hour shift person has all that done by 3pm on the days they aren’t working so the other person finishes work to a sparkling home?

You want the garden tidied I anticipation of your return home from work each day?

If you're working 13 hour shifts, I'm assuming you have days off which you can use to clean the bathroom and tidy the garden.

I agree the person who finishes work at 3 should make dinner, but the rest should be shared. The garden does not need tidying on work days.

I'd expect both adults to pick up / wipe down after themselves. The shorter hours person could cook for both but the long shift person might not want dinner at 9pm and the shorter hours person should not have to wait till then to eat.
Garden tidying stuff is something we leave till weekends and not a daily usual task.

Garden and bathrooms every day? Pfft no

What will the wfh person tell their boss when they are outside weeding the garden instead of at a meeting or answering emails?

For me it would depend who that person is, if it’s a DP then I would pick up the cooking and tidying the house given most of it would be my mess if they are out of the house most of the time, the garden is a step too far.

If a house share, friend etc then no I wouldn’t

Does the 13h shift person work the same number of days a week?

This has to be a reverse. Surely no one expects to come home to

clean and tidy house, bathroom cleaned/kitchen cleaned/garden tidied and a meal cooked?

When there are two working adults at home.

I agree general household chores should probably be done mostly by the person who works less / is at home more but your list above is excessive and unrealistic.

Working more hours (and I'm assuming you don't do 13hr shifts every day of the week?), doesn't mean you have to do nothing for yourself at home.

YABU. Working long hours does not resolve anyone of household responsibility. The person working from home should do more but not all. And if anyone "expected" me to do all the housework and have a meal ready for them every day I'd tell them to shove it.

I'd say them working from home is irrelevant as they are working, it doesn't matter where they are. The work load should be evenly split as I'm assuming the other person doesn't work that every day.

Do both people get an equal amount of leisure time?

I am of the opinion that if a household with 2 adults should aim for them to have the same amount of leisure /relaxed time, if possible. So one who works part time would end up doing more housework /domestic chores than the other, that's only fair to balance out "time off".

If comes down to how much needs doing.

(Obviously this assumes similar health levels for both and that both jobs have similar levels of physical demand)

Person A working day 6h
Person B working day 14.5h

Yes, working days I would expect A to pick up housework. Unless there was kids involved in which case A would be busy with school runs/homework etc.

A meal made and left for B to heat up would (imo) be a given.

Weekends / non working days - it's a case of everyone chipping in. As you have said no kids then I would think it fair that come the weekend a big clean and a big shop would have been done by whoever was A.

Yes I think the person working only 9-3 and with no children to look after should do the majority of the housework and cooking.

On days they both work, I would expect the person working shorter days to do the majority , but certainly not everything. Working long days doesn't mean you get out of doing the housework!

I've been working long hours doing about 4 days/ 50 hours a week to try and bring some more money in and I'm just tired of coming home to the garden still being a state, floors not mopped and various other bits that are just starting to niggle at me. I'm knackered on my days off tbh and it just feels like I'm getting nothing in return.

I still end up doing most of the housework which is why I'm wondering if I'm being taken for a ride or not.

That's too much to expect one person to do after a full day's work - regardless of how long the other person's hours are. You'd expect the house to be reasonably clean and tidy but no t

How often are you expecting the floors mopped and garden tidied/bathroom scrubbed etc...

I wouldn't be happy if my husband expected me to mop floors and scrub the bathroom every day before he came home.

To be honest, outside of daily stuff like laundry, washing up, cooking etc... The majority of what you've described are weekend jobs, tidying up the garden etc... I wouldn't expect someone to do that after work.

The way you worded your OP made your expectations seem extremely high for every day housework imo.