That if you work from home

[forfoxsakee]

9-3 and you live with another person who does 13 hour shifts and leaves at half 6 in the morning and gets home at 9 at night that you take on most of the household stuff? E.g when the person comes home they should come home at night to a clean and tidy house, bathroom cleaned/kitchen cleaned/garden tidied and a meal cooked? There are no children in the home.

9-3 from home isn't full time, an hour of pottering about each day, general tidying, throwing some washing in then on OPs working days making a start on dinner etc wouldn't exactly tax them, there are no children to look after, and OP mucking in on non working days, should easily keep a household of only two adults clean and tidy. One of them is working almost half the hours of the other, surely that means they pick up more of the household stuff that needs doing. Otherwise what are they doing from 3pm until OP gets home at nine in the evening, four days a week? Six hours of me time 4 days a week and then expecting your partner who is out of the house 6am-9pm on those four days to do the majority of housework, that's cocklodger territory.

But yes do get rid of bloody house rabbits, rabbits are outdoor creatures

@KarlKennedysDurianFruit

But yes do get rid of bloody house rabbits, rabbits are outdoor creatures

Bloody hell. What a ridiculous comment, which I expect would not be made to someone with cats or dogs. All creatures were originally "outdoor creatures", including humans. Which ones do you believe evolved inside houses?

@KarlKennedysDurianFruit

9-3 from home isn't full time, an hour of pottering about each day, general tidying, throwing some washing in then on OPs working days making a start on dinner etc wouldn't exactly tax them, there are no children to look after, and OP mucking in on non working days, should easily keep a household of only two adults clean and tidy. One of them is working almost half the hours of the other, surely that means they pick up more of the household stuff that needs doing. Otherwise what are they doing from 3pm until OP gets home at nine in the evening, four days a week? Six hours of me time 4 days a week and then expecting your partner who is out of the house 6am-9pm on those four days to do the majority of housework, that's cocklodger territory.

Actually if they are doing that 5 days a week, with no breaks, it is full time: it's 35 hours which (while we are still protected by EU laws) is classed as the minimum for a full time job. It is not that person's fault that the OP chooses to work in a different profession with different hours. They have no children, so no obligation to muck in for that. And I say this as someone who worked 80-100 hour weeks for years. I think the big deal being made here about doing 50 hours is a bit OTT. Also seems it was a choice. So the OP can decide to not do those hours if she's unhappy with the division of labour and let her DP do more hours if she wants to be home and do more housework. Or, you know, discuss it with each other and come up with a solution! Seems a bit of a mountain out of a molehole to me, especially at the moment.

Meal cooked on long shift days and washing up done - easy to stick some bits in washing machine, even occasional hoover. Garden and.bathroom, daily? No.

Hahaa I apologise, obviously that would be 30 hours!! So not quite full time. But almost. 🤷🏻‍♀️

It just seems such a non-issue. No offence meant OP, really. But if he hasn't made dinner make some cheese on toast or heat a pizza or order a quick takeaway? Garden can be fixed at weekends. How messy can the house be with no kids and him working at home all day so not messing it up? Unless there's something we are missing (and I've had house rabbits for years, easily litter trained so make no mess really!) I am confused what the issue is. What do you think single people do when we get home from work and are hungry?

We both do 13 hr shifts - and hahahahaha to the PP who thought everyone who does those ‘surely only does three a week’, people really cannot imagine what it means to not work 9-5 in an office can they - and whoever is working gets home to dinner and a reasonably tidy house.

Otherwise housework is split as overall we’re working broadly similar hours.

I would think someone who worked such short hours not getting it together to make some dinner was taking the piss, yes.

@KarlKennedysDurianFruit

But yes do get rid of bloody house rabbits, rabbits are outdoor creatures

Just 'get rid' of their pets? What a ridiculous thing to flippantly suggest. They have a responsibility to their pets. They chose to get them and rabbits don't do well being rehomed. FWIW my house rabbit made it to 10 years old, was litter trained and the best little companion I've ever had. 'Bloody' pets aren't disposable, they're living breathing animals.

@PolkadotGiraffe 5x6 is 30.... And that's assuming no breaks are taken, they also have no commute time. OP is out of the house for work 15 hours a day four days a week , so sixty hours, twice as much. I'm working from home today, took me two minutes to pop a wash on when I went to get a drink. I also work some days much like the OPs and am unable to do bits around the house. Luckily my husband isn't like the OPs partner and doesn't work half the time I do and expect me to do most of the housework.
My comment about the rabbits was in relation to the mess they create, I actually don't think that's the partner's responsibility if they are the OPs pets. So if she can't manage their mess/care for them due to work she needs to re-home them rather than expect partner to, or not complain about the mess they make

Yeah, just like I said immediately afterwards...

The OP said she works 50 hours per week not 60. Either way, fairly normal hours in most professional roles. Not a big deal really.

If one partner is doing fewer hours to do childcare then it's a different story but two people who have jobs and are in a relationship and choose to do professions with different hours... not really that relevant for housework. OP has said she has several days per week off. Plenty of time to do stuff.

As PP have said on a long day with the partner at home you wouldn't expect to come home to a mess, but we are not talking about "popping a wash on"; she said she expected bathrooms cleaned daily, floors mopped and hoovered daily, garden tidied etc. Seems OTT.

As for rabbits, if properly litter trained they make very little mess at all. Suggesting rehoming pets because they are disagreeing about housework division is nuts.

Many people work and look after children and manage a house alone. With two adults and no children and both doing fairly standard weekly hours, it seems a bit crazy to not be able to work out a sensible balance.

If you make 50%of a mess you should do half the cleaning no matter what hours you work. Eg you probably have one shower a day each. Therefore bathroom duties should be halved ..

@PolkadotGiraffe she's out of the house 6am to 9pm he's only working 9-3 and he expects her to do the majority of the household chores if you read the updates. If you think that's reasonable, more fool you, as I said before if he did an hour a day of chores around the house (still being able to sit down and relax by 4pm which is an absolute luxury to most working adults) and the op did an hour or two on her days off the house should be sparkling with only two adults living there

[quote KarlKennedysDurianFruit]@PolkadotGiraffe she's out of the house 6am to 9pm he's only working 9-3 and he expects her to do the majority of the household chores if you read the updates. If you think that's reasonable, more fool you, as I said before if he did an hour a day of chores around the house (still being able to sit down and relax by 4pm which is an absolute luxury to most working adults) and the op did an hour or two on her days off the house should be sparkling with only two adults living there[/quote]
I didn't say that was reasonable. But that doesn't make what was in the OP a reasonable expectation either.

I would expect the person finishing at 3 to make a meal and do general cleaning and tidying etc. I wouldn't expect a show home or garden make over.

The people saying the person working long hours should do 50% of the chores does that mean they also should keep the additional money they are earning for themselves. Thought this is a partnership..

And on the 5th day off I would expect the long shift worker to cook to my meals, mop the floors and have the garden beautiful.

Sod that, if a job needs doing just do it. It's not tit for tat and nobody owes anybody. I would much rather my partner did things because they wanted to for us as a couple rather than feeling they had to answer why they'd not done their allocated jobs.

I would also be really annoyed if they did nothing and assumed I would do it all. I'm certain I would not be in a partnership with someone who didn't respect me enough to know my free time is as important as there's.

OP the person at home needs to pull their weight. They're working 30 hrs per week and you're working 52 (with travel 60hrs per week).

Your doing 63% of total working hours and they're doing 37%. So they should be doing roughly 63% of the house work and you 37%. This doesn't take into the 8 hours travel you have.