To ask what they didn't tell you about pregnancy/child birth?

[PossiblyPattio]

I'm long past the age of being able to have a baby but i'm hoping that a thread to share our experiences could be helpful

I only have one DD and I remember being scared as shit when Lochia happened!! Nobody told me it would happen and I thought I was going to die

The night sweats for several days after in the first week or so after birth!!

Full pregnancy hyperemesis, 5+ ketones- have honestly never experienced anything like (3 times I had it, I was crazy)

Birth - the room changed colour from the pain.

Afterpains after the 3rd birth when breastfeeding. Awful.

@lyralalala

That the "rush of love" might not happen and it doesn't make you a shit Mum.

This. I got it with my second born but not my first.

Took me a while to bond with my first born but we got there in the end.

Childbirth hurts....I mean I knew it would hurt but my god I didn’t expect it to hurt as much as it did

Also didn’t know that breastfeeding wasn’t as simple as latching and the baby on and done. It was painful

How big the placenta is! I thought it was quite small so didn't think it would be so painful to pass! With both my babies, it took me longer to push out the bastard placentas than it did the babies!

Also the afterpains are worse while breastfeeding. That made the early days of breastfeeding an even shitter experience than just the red raw nipples

Getting the placenta out can sometimes be harder work than getting the baby out! All I'd ever heard was that it would be easy.

Pushed out ds in less than half an hour but the placenta involved 45 mins of me struggling while occasionally moaning 'worse than baby! Worse than baby' (and yes this was with the injection!)

The after pains especially when breastfeeding is like labour all over again and the more kids you have the worse it is. Baby number 4 breastfeeding for 1 week was like multiple labours a day for a week.

@lyralalala

Also after pains in second (or more) pregnancies.

I thought there was something hideously wrong

I had no idea! Second time round remember being doubled over on the floor.

Floppy stomach afterwards and jelly feet.

Laughing crow definitely gets worse after each birth. It made me feel sick to think of that floppy stretched out sack trying to contract itself down.

To be honest, nothing. Every single aspect of pregnancy and birth is so well discussed now. You can't read anything on the subject without the article going in to excruciating detail about how you'll be bleeding everywhere, screaming and crying, ripped to shreds, etc. You tell someone you are pregnant, the first thing they say is "you'll poop yourself in labour you know!". I know!

That health professionals will go all out to stop you feeling pain for a tooth extraction, but labour pain relief is only given to you after you need it. They don't really care how much it hurts! I asked for gas and air and was told I wasn't late enough in labour. Turns out I had gone from 4cm to 10 bloody cm in an hour.

That a fast labour sounds great but is such a shock to your womb that it won't contract and you'll haemorrhage.

Piles and to invest in a ring to sit on

That I would need SIX WEEKS of blood thinning injections after my c-section. Still got a week left, and it's just horrific. I make poor DH administer them because needles make me boak.

People are better informed now, but I was genuinely shocked how dismissive people were about the pain and how poor the aftercare was.

I had emergency surgery on my wrist and I had amazing painkillers. Ward staff made sure I had food when I was too groggy to walk to the door to collect. There was an understanding that I’d had an anaesthetic and surgery and therefore that was a big deal and I needed looking after.

Csection with twins... I had to get my ex to bring me food because I missed dinner. Not only was I expected to walk upstairs to the other ward for my dinner but no-one even told me. I was also sent home with paracetamol despite having my belly cut open.

When you are used to decent care and compassion it can be really shocking how little a shit anyone gives

Pregnancy insomnia. It's a thing! No one warned me. Every single night I probably manage 2-4 hours of broken sleep. I constantly feel like a zombie.

Literally can't remember the last time I got a solid 7-8 hours sleep. Maybe this is my bodies way of prepping me for the many sleepless nights heading my way when DC arrives.

That if you have a section, they hoover out all the blood and for the first week or so you'll likely be like wow hardly any bleeding this is great but then the placenta scab comes off round day 11 and you might bleed so much that you'll seriously consider what will happen to your newborn when you die.

Lack of appetite after giving birth. Swollen feet. Jelly belly. That first period afterwards....oh.my.GOD.

I’m also really shocked that some women on here didn’t know about lochia or that the placenta would need delivering! Did you miss biology at school, not read any books, not go to any classes or anything?

The only thing that surprised me was as someone else said, that the wave of love doesn’t wash over every woman immediately.

Oh and the smell! You're so smelly after. It's awe inspiring how the post birth stink that oozes from your pores for days.

@ImaSababa Wowzers, six weeks?! How come? That sounds bloody awful. I only had to do the standard 7 days, or was it 5... anyway, it was shit. Not so much the pain of the needle itself but the thought of actually putting it in, had to take a few deep breaths, it made me cringe 🤢

You hair falls out for weeks after birth. That was scary.

Your downstairs may be sore for months, not the 6 weeks your GP says to not have sex for.

You can feel your organs moving back into place.

HVs are obsessed with the rule book, when the baby hasn't read the rule book.

Crying in the bath every night for weeks and weeks, sitting up at night sweating with worry, is NOT normal. But also, you will basically receive no medical or mental health care after birth, so you have to fix it yourself.

Fuuuuuuuuuck I am 13 weeks and should not have read any of this ... Bleurgh

But also glad I did so that I can try and prepare mentally for what sounds like the most horrendous experience

I expected my ladyparts to feel pretty battered afterwards (and they did!) but what I didn't expect was that my whole torso would feel like I'd been hit by a bus, presumably from the force of the contractions. I couldn't stand up straight for a couple of days!

Also the weird sensation of your internal organs dropping back into the vacated space

As someone else upthread mentioned, the postnatal night sweats. My sheets and pillow were wringing wet!

@Dillo10 try not to think too far ahead or it'll freak you out. Just focus on the next hurdle.

Oh god the hair!

I honestly thought I was going bald at one point

Ds nearly lost a toe after one of my hairs tightly wrapped around it without me knowing

I felt guilty for days and would randomly burst into tears over the fact he nearly lost a toe because of my hair