To ask what they didn't tell you about pregnancy/child birth?

[PossiblyPattio]

I'm long past the age of being able to have a baby but i'm hoping that a thread to share our experiences could be helpful

I only have one DD and I remember being scared as shit when Lochia happened!! Nobody told me it would happen and I thought I was going to die

I'd never heard the word "lochia" before. It's one of those words where it would make a nice name if it didn't have the definition it does. I'm just in my second month of pregnancy so I haven't looked into things in much detail yet, but it was good and scary to read about what happens and what can happen. I'm planning to read a book or do online classes nearer the time to prepare better.

In early pregnancy (the only experience I have) I didn't know that you could feel similar pains to period pain - I thought I wasn't pregnant and that I would get my period soon.

@BiblioX OMG yes I'm so glad I read your comment. I googled for ages after for a description of what I felt and couldn't find anything, it was what you said, like petals unfolding, or literally like I could feel something coming down and my body opening up 🤢 it makes me shudder to think about, I was crawling up the bed at that point!

I thought it was what was called transition but is it after that? Have you ever found a better description? I wanted to ask family about it/ discuss it but thought it was too much.

Similar to you midwives didn't think i was anywhere near as progressed as I was (they were surprised on first exam that I was 4cm and said something about FTMs usually thinking they're way further ahead than they are) and I went from 6cm to 10cm in about 2hrs

Everything. Regarding labour: The advice I would give is just focus on breathing. After an epidural, they can sometimes take an hour break! Be prepared to be your own advocate for things. If you don't hold your baby straight away, that is okay!
Regarding pregnancy: there's a lot of conflicting information. do you research and make up your own mind. Pregnancy is so different for everyone. Oh, and definitely look up the statistics for morning sickness.

@Christmastree43 there’s a book about unassisted childbirth called I think The River Flows By Itself and scientific paper pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11146937/ which I think is relevant. A french doctor studied it in depth but I can’t remember his name. No voluntary pushing at all, simply the body “evacuating” the baby. With my first I remember being terrified of the thought of tearing so was determined not to push until I was told to, but body/uterus did all the expelling anyway and each succeeding baby has been the same. Lengths of labour range from 14 minutes from breaking waters to 5 hours. I was told by an obstetrician I have a very efficient uterus hahahaha.

The reason they tell you to stay at home as long as possible in labour is because contracting and being in pain on a busy, grotty shared ward with everyone else’s visitors fiddling with your curtain is bloody awful! Stay. At. Home.

@Sunshine0620 You're soooooo right! Even better, home birth if you can!

I also had an episiotomy and 3 degree tear. How are you now? I’m only 7 weeks and still in discomfort. My episiotomy also broke down.

Every pregnancy and birth was so different , like the rules changed each time and things that worked in one wouldn't work in another. Pelvic floor exercises so important during pregnancy not just after . Prolapse can happen . The shivers post birth . It happens to me now when I get local anesthetic, it takes me right back to post birth high