This is a very tricky situation and i feel overwhelmed. It is not a case of being irresponsible, just stupid. I had a stomach bug last month and did not cross our minds that that would make the pill ineffective. I’ve been on the pill for years and this never happened.
I just found out i am about 6 weeks pregnant according to the date of my last period. I am 22, my boyfriend is 24. If we keep the baby we’ll be 23 and 25 when the baby arrives.
We’ve only been together for 6 months. Been living together for 4 months. Our relationship seem very stable, we both see it as something serious that will hopefully lead to marriage and kids(later).
We both work full time and together make around 40k a year before tax. So not a lot of money but not poor either.
When i showed him the many positive tests his first reaction was excitement and happiness. He started making future plans. Like we’ll move into his parents empty house so we don’t need to pay rent, his retired parents will be more than happy to babysit once maternity leave is over so we don’t need to pay for daycare, he will trade in his very expensive car for a cheaper one, so pretty responsible reaction.
I had no initial reaction because i was in shock. I just felt and still feel fear.
However he changed his opinion very fast. He told me he’s made his decision and that is abortion. He said it’s the smart thing to do and he does not want to give up his life for a baby.
I agree it is the smart thing to do and i am pro choice. Before this happened to me i always thought that if it happened i would choose abortion. But now that it actually happened it is not that easy. I don’t know if it is the pregnancy hormones or what, but i feel a weird sense of attachment towards the thing growing in my stomach. Also strong feelings of guilt and ‘what ifs’. I don’t know if i can go through with abortion. I know i will regret it all my life and it will haunt me. If i abort it will be mostly for my boyfriend.
Whatever decision i make i feel like i can’t win. If i keep the baby i feel guilty for forcing him to have a baby he doesn’t want. If i abort i will feel guilty for killing my baby and will always wonder what could have been and i know i will resent my boyfriend.
He says he is scared that his life is not in his hands anymore because i have the ultimate say. He says he is scared he will grow feelings of resent towards me and the baby. He keeps repeating that he made his choice and that is pressuring me.
I don’t want to be a single mum and i told him that if i decide to keep it he can leave. He says no, he will need to be part. But words are words and i don’t want to be a single mum. I doubt he would walk away because he’s been broody ever since we met, always talking about kids and how he can’t wait to be a dad one day. He even had his names chosen. This was before the accident though.
I feel overwhelmed. I really don’t think i can go through with an abortion. I don’t know what to do. I am terrified. I already resent my boyfriend because i feel it is so easy for him to just say he’s made his decision because he is not the one who is suffering the consequences of having to do something he does not want to do.