To wish I'd never have had a baby during lockdown

[Nicknamegoeshere]

She's 4.5 months and I'm hating every second of this shitty mat leave. Wish I have known about Covid before I got pregnant last September 😣

There is no way you could have possibly known about covid beforehand

Yanbu, it’s really rough. I have a lot of sympathy for people with babies born during Covid - the loss of all the new baby opportunities you would usually have, the isolation, the increases anxiety. It’s not what anyone would wish for, and you have my sympathy

@Nicknamegoeshere

What's so bad about it? Most of the baby clubs have reopened and so has farms, play areas, National trust etc. The child is too young for soft
Play or the cinema so not missing out there? Most people are back at work so no necessarily missing having friends/family around during the day? Seems to me the only thing you can't do is just turn up at swimming pools as it's lane swimming only? 🤷‍♀️

@ncffm Thanks, I know. I definitely would not be ttc during this pandemic, that's for sure!
I've tried going to classes but they're a complete waste of time as of course you have to wear a mask and can't socialise.
Desperate to get back to work (I'm a teacher).

It's shitty, but I bet you're doing a brilliant job! Make sure you keep talking though... never be afraid to vent or moan. It doesn't mean you're a bad mum, or you don't love your baby, it just means you're normal!

@ivfbeenbusy She's too young yet to enjoy those really.

@Nicknamegoeshere I hear you. I had a lockdown baby and feel the same. No one mentioned pandemics when you discuss the pros and cons of having a baby! It’s ok to feel like this. I feel sad I keep wishing time away in my babies first year. I’ve had a DC before so know what mat leave is like (the good and bad) and this has been 1000 x worse and harder. We are in local lockdown so few groups and can’t see family etc. It makes me sad too. There are lots like you and although it doesn’t make it better solidarity perhaps helps. I’m waiting for next year when things get better but honestly when DC2 asks about her babyhood I think I will have repressed the first year 🤷🏼‍♀️.

@LavaCake

Yanbu, it’s really rough. I have a lot of sympathy for people with babies born during Covid - the loss of all the new baby opportunities you would usually have, the isolation, the increases anxiety. It’s not what anyone would wish for, and you have my sympathy

It’s nice to see posters who acknowledge this so often people get shot down for being selfish when expressing these feelings. Thank you poster

I have a four month old. It isn’t that bad. Groups are opening, we swim, do sensory, do fitness classes... we walk lots. What do you feel you’re missing out on? Not projecting my experience as a representative of everyone’s experience, just asking.

Mat leave might be shitty to you but don’t wish your kid away because you can’t...what? I’m not sure what you can’t do.

Is the pandemic affecting you more in other ways?

@Napqueen1234 Thank you. Yes, I definitely enjoyed my mat leave with both of my boys a lot more. I'll be having to return to work ft from Feb so feel all of my leave has been wasted!

@Wibblypiggly I hate swimming with a passion but was excited about starting music classes. However, I'm really not feeling it because we have to be masked up and can't chat to other mums due to social distancing and having to leave straight afterwards. I guess I'd forgotten about the loneliness, it's so isolating and I miss the company of other adults. I'm looking forward and returning to work from that perspective, definitely. And my brain is looking forward to it too!!

@Wibblypiggly it depends when you are. Classes aren’t running here, you can’t book swimming, soft play closed things inside booked up for weeks. We can’t meet friends or family inside or out so can’t see anyone. It’s very lonely and isolating. Depending where you live things are very different.

Yes, thank you @LavaCake x

Must be so isolating, I do feel for you. Hang in there OP .

I feel for you. Could you arrange to meet up with your older children's mums (if you're friends obvs)? - my DC are no longer babies but I love a coffee and a coo over small ones.

@MoiraNotRuby My boys are pre-teen and teenager at a huge secondary so I don't know their friend's mums. They are of course at a different stage of their lives which I fully respect. They'd quite rightly find a baby rather annoying!!!

@Nicknamegoeshere are you supported with childcare? Have you had any kind of break? I’ve started an online course which is challenging my brain and is something just for me. I do it in the evenings when the baby goes to bed. Assuming your baby sleeps a bit. It’s honestly given me some semblance of my old self and it gives me something to talk about other than whether the baby is teething yet, or how much the baby is sleeping, or answering constant enquiries about feeding.

I can see why you feel sad about it, though I think Covid with a tiny baby is infinitely better than Covid with toddlers, especially during lockdown when there were zero playdates and not even a trio to the park was possible. In contrast, you might be bored during Covid with a baby, but at least you aren't having to manage your child's boredom as well.

@Babyboomtastic I can imagine it is - I am very grateful I don't have a toddler as well!! Having said that it's been incredibly hard for my teenage son and his MH has really suffered, bless him.

@Wibblypiggly I do have a partner but baby is EBF and an extremely poor sleeper. The most she naps in the day is 30 mins (on a good day!) so don't really have time to do activities for myself. I just about manage a shower at bedtime when he has her, but even then she often cries!!

@Nicknamegoeshere I feel your pain. My little coronial is almost 5 months old. I think it’s worse for FTMs as many missed out on antenatal classes and the chance to make friends there.

However, I love him more that words. Fingers crossed that next summer things will be back to (near) normal.

@ivfbeenbusy
To be honest it’s crap

No baby clubs (apart from one that runs one morning per week) open here in my city. You have to book a slot (which is difficult for a baby going through sleep regression). I haven’t found any toddler groups open at all. I can’t take my toddler to the baby group due to SD.

I found an outdoor buggy fitness class but I can’t go as I would need to bring DD and toddlers can’t socially distance

If I wasn’t worried about money I could join the gym. However, the creche is still closed. There are now no baby/toddler activities running at the gym like there were pre-Covid.

Paid attractions cost at least £10 entrance fee. NT needs be booked in advance and is difficult to get a slot. There weather is getting worse now but we try to go to parks and playgrounds every time it’s not raining. Days out to paid attractions are a rare treat.

Lost my jobs whilst on mat leave so frantically applying for jobs but having no joy.

Husband is now back at work after being furloughed earlier this year. However, things are looking shaky and he has to take three days holiday last week as there was no work.

The swimming pool where DD does swimming lessons is still not open.

I have a 2 week old. I have 2 older children who o had to homeschool the whole way through lockdown. I was excited as the pregnancy kept me going the whole way through, thinking things might have eased.

As it happened, further restrictions were brought in where I am jus before I gave birth. My husband had already missed all the scans etc, then I was admitted to hospital 2 days prior to the birth. I went through the entire labour alone, my husband almost missed the birth as no one knew I was in labour and I was 10cm and pushing when examined.

Since my youngest has been born, my oldest was at school for 3 days, then his teacher got CV, boom, he’s off for 14 days, homeschooling all over again, but this time with a newborn. Then, boom, the middle one is off, so now I’m homeschooling 2 children, with a newborn.

We haven’t left the house, seen anyone, gone anywhere. All the while, everyone else continues as normal.

We were meant to go away for the oldest’s birthday, but it’s cancelled, we can’t get photos taken of the baby, none of my friends have met or seen the baby. I have had no support.

We’ve actually postponed my husband’s paternity leave as it seems completely pointless to have all of us stuck in the house looking at each other.

It’s horrible.

My sister said at least during lockdown she wasn’t getting FOMO; as with first she was cluster feeding all eve when her friends were going out for dinner and drinks and this time felt less bad staying in every eve as everyone was!

But yes. I can’t imagine how shit it is for you and other new mums.

I’d love a baby pandemic or not so I’ll swap if you want!

@Nicknamegoeshere well, that sounds really hard. That will probably be making you feel a lot worse. Nothing seems as good when you’re dog tired.

I don’t have anything productive to add but you’re not alone, I understand. There’s a big club of us lockdown new parents and sometimes things are really shit. It’s ok to feel that way.

@OverTheRainbow88 I said the same thing! 😂