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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nursery withholding DS drink

277 replies

T33l9 · 12/10/2020 08:33

My toddler (new to nursery) has been returning home with a full drink cup, as in - not being given his juice.

It is sugar free and heavily diluted so it's not unhealthy.

After doing some reading online it appears that alot of nurseries have a blanket rule of 'no juice' but this hasn't been communicated with me.

My problem is that he is a restricted eater/drinker due to having additional needs and I'm concerned he's not getting sufficient fluids. He may take a sip of water if he's totally parched, if they're lucky, but he certainly won't take in enough. When he gets home he screams and shouts for juice because he's overly thirsty.

AIBU to tell them to let him have the juice I'm sending him in with?

OP posts:
theboardgame · 12/10/2020 08:36

They probably give him plenty of drinks if he is there. Why won't you ask in the morning on the drop off? You can suggest that he has his favourite drink in with him.

Marshmallow91 · 12/10/2020 08:37

Have you discussed it with the school?

Ickabog · 12/10/2020 08:37

Have you spoken to nursery about sending in a drink, and discussed his restrictive eating / drinking?

ShallICompareTheeToASummersDay · 12/10/2020 08:39

I’d first check that he’s not drinking water when he’s there. They do sometimes do stuff at nursery they won’t do at home. If they have a no juice policy ask them to keep a check of how much exactly he’s drinking each day and if it’s not enough to top up with juice.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 12/10/2020 08:41

Do nursery ask that a drink is sent in? Most would do regular drinks snacks and mealtimes without then having to dish out extra from home.

Murmurur · 12/10/2020 08:41

Talk to them. How have you not already had this conversation?

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 12/10/2020 08:41

You need to have a chat with them to discuss his needs, which all then should be recorded in his plan. But it is worth checking he's not drinking water there - they do things at nursery that they don't do at home. It could also be that he's only getting his cup with his lunch or snack, which might be the wrong time - rushing through lunch to get on with playing, or too much going on, big children to look at - so he's ignoring his drink and they're missing it. Could be lots of explanations so you need to go in, find out what's happening and advocate for him.

Thisisnotnormal69 · 12/10/2020 08:42

Agree talk to them first

Laaalaaaa · 12/10/2020 08:44

From your post it sounds like you haven’t actually discussed it with them, just googled why it might be the case. Surely to god the first thing to do is communicate with them. It’s not hard.

Feefifo9 · 12/10/2020 08:44

I don’t know any nurseries that allow juice so it’s probably that. They should be ensuring he is hydrated especially if he has additional needs so less able to communicate his thirst. I would ask them to keep a fluids chart.

DDiva · 12/10/2020 08:45

YANBU to be concerned.

YABU to tell them what they must do. Much better to discuss your concerns and find out what is actually happening.

Twistered · 12/10/2020 08:45

He will drinking water or milk like the other kids. If they give him juice then every kid will be looking juice too!
Kids do things at nursery that they don't do at home so my bet is he's happy to follow the other kids and have what nursery provide .

Original poster
T33l9 · 12/10/2020 08:46

I'm going to discuss it with them today yes.

After doing a quick search it seems like there is a "no juice" policy for alot of nurseries, but I was told nothing about whether that stands for this one so I'm bracing myself to be told they don't really allow juice.

OP posts:
Ickabog · 12/10/2020 08:47

I find it odd you would just send in juice without discussing why.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 12/10/2020 08:47

Did you not get a welcome pack / bit of info on starting? Usually they ask for certain items to be sent in each day, medical info etc.

GrumpyHoonMain · 12/10/2020 08:48

If your son wasn’t drinking or eating then you would have been told - I would bet he’s doing both if they haven’t said anything. It’s ok - kids almost always do stuff at nursery they wouldn’t at home. Either way at home I would try replacing the juice with milk if he isn’t eating.

SleepingStandingUp · 12/10/2020 08:51

@T33l9

I'm going to discuss it with them today yes.

After doing a quick search it seems like there is a "no juice" policy for alot of nurseries, but I was told nothing about whether that stands for this one so I'm bracing myself to be told they don't really allow juice.

If there's an issue with the juice, I'd have assumed they'd have mentioned it?

Do they do milk etc at break time?

Os it private or school nursery? If it's school, have you had dealing with the SENCO as you said he has addition needs? You need to talk to them, I'm unsure of the private nursery equivalent, about what he needs to have his needs met. Given the kids aren't sharing and assuming it isn't fizzy etc they should agree to meet you part way

SleepingStandingUp · 12/10/2020 08:52

@Ickabog

I find it odd you would just send in juice without discussing why.
Because you only know it's not the done thing if you know. First month of nursery was a succession of ft parents being told to bring water instead of juice because they didn't know / that's what they drink at home.
Original poster
T33l9 · 12/10/2020 08:52

He won't drink milk at all at home so I doubt he will drink it there.

His book often states 'had sips of water' but sips isn't sufficient when he's there from 9.30 until 4.30.

No welcome pack outlining what he can and cannot have, no.

I send him with diluted sugar free juice because that's what he has at home and nobody has told me not to.

Dads dropping off this morning but I'm collecting him this afternoon and will discuss then.

OP posts:
LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 12/10/2020 08:53

even if they have a no-juice policy, the words 'reasonable adjustment' are your friends. It is a completely reasonable adjustment to give him the only fluid he'll willingly drink. But again, I'd check first.

Tumbleweed101 · 12/10/2020 08:53

Are they aware the juice cup is there? We always give our own drinks to the children so don’t search in bags to see if they have their own. All children drink milk/water with us even when parents are convinced they won’t. If your child has a restricted diet because of SEN this should have been discussed by you at the settling sessions which is when most information is exchanged on things such as this.

Goldencurtain · 12/10/2020 08:54

Juice is a fairly recent invention, I don't think any child died of dehydration as they waited the millennia for it to be invented.

TheGirlWithAPrince · 12/10/2020 08:54

My nursery dont allow drinks from outside so that they cant be responsible for bottles etc or kids sharing drinks, They get a cup every snack time /sit down time of Squash

SleepingStandingUp · 12/10/2020 08:55

All children drink milk/water with us even when parents are convinced they won’t. All of yours might, but that doesn't means ops child is. Mine would go thirsty before he drank anything but plain water.

Op is it private or school nursery? Are the nursery fully aware of his care needs?

SunbathingDragon · 12/10/2020 08:55

I think it’s fairly standard for nurseries not to allow anything other than water or milk but both will be offered whilst there and it’s surprising what they will eat and drink with peer pressure, that they won’t touch at home.