Nursery withholding DS drink

[T33l9]

My toddler (new to nursery) has been returning home with a full drink cup, as in - not being given his juice.

It is sugar free and heavily diluted so it's not unhealthy.

After doing some reading online it appears that alot of nurseries have a blanket rule of 'no juice' but this hasn't been communicated with me.

My problem is that he is a restricted eater/drinker due to having additional needs and I'm concerned he's not getting sufficient fluids. He may take a sip of water if he's totally parched, if they're lucky, but he certainly won't take in enough. When he gets home he screams and shouts for juice because he's overly thirsty.

AIBU to tell them to let him have the juice I'm sending him in with?

@SamsMumsCateracts
I cannot tell you how many times I've been told that my autistic child with RFID will eat and drink what the other children do. He won't. He would rather go hungry and thirsty.

As a nursery practitioner, I hope you'd know that many children with sensory issues are not aware of hunger or thirst like neurotypical children so will not ask for a drink.

OP that's a bonkers policy for an SEN nursery and I would be furious.

They’ve deceived you for a long time. I wouldn’t take him back there.

When you say juice do you really mean squash? Because actual diluted juice would be better.

I would be pissed off about the way this has been handled - why didn't they just say there is a no juice policy when you arrived with juice on day one? And they haven't given you an info sheet. It's taken your DH challenging this for them to sort that out.

This, coupled with the other issues you have mentioned, would make me start looking elsewhere.

When I drop my DD off at daycare I feel normal parent anxiety, but overall I am comfortable that she is safe and well looked after, and I trust them to let me know about any issues. It sounds like you don't have this trust with your nursery, and that's enough to look elsewhere.

This sort of thing makes me very angry. You are paying them for a service and they should do what you instruct them to do.

I feel the same way about lunch boxes in schools. Not the teachers' business what the children eat. There is no way I'd have been the lunchbox police when I was teaching.

Put your foot down, they are going beyond their responsibility.

I feel the same way about lunch boxes in schools. Not the teachers' business what the children eat.

I am so glad to see this. I thought it was just me.

If he is still having wet nappies as usual, then he is drinking water at nursery. If not they will have to make adjustments for him.

fwiw DS2 never drank water so we sneaked a bit of clear apple juice drink into his water, and gradually reduced the apple. He does now drink water in school and only has water in his bottle.

Would he drink this sort of thing?

Flavoured water is worse than diluted juice so don't try that.
I'm a dental nurse and the whole 'you conditioned him to drink juice' give over ffs. Very very rarely we see decay because of juice it's actually the sweets and treats!
At the end of the day if your child only drinks juice. Then that's that. At least they're drinking. It's a bit of juice it's really not the end of the world a sugary biscuit is worse than juice!

And I'd also never let a nursery dictate what my
Child eats or drinks. Not like you're sending him in there with a can of Stella and a packet of Mayfair.

I also feel the same about lunch boxes and it has been going on for a long, long time.

I'm reminded of my DM being annoyed as she was challenged by school over me having an unsatisfactory pack up.

I can remember very clearly what I'd have.

A sandwich
Packet of crisps
Piece of fruit
Mini chocolate bar

They got on at her about the chocolate bar.

I'm almost 30 now and things have only gotten worse as seen by this "no juice" policy.

At the risk of sounding petty, it's not as if the nursery practitioners are practicing what they preach. Several of them are overweight and I know for a fact they're drinking tea / coffee with sugar in.

By all means eat and drink what you like but don't then refuse my child a bottle of (weak) juice provided from home.

To say he's a restricted eater his diet isn't bad. He certainly doesn't have tons of sugar in his diet. I see no problem with juice.

I have read on here before that some parents refuse juice at home too, and that's for them to decide, but I don't think anybody has the right to dictate the diet of another person's child.

Teachers don’t give a bugger what is in lunch boxes. They aren’t even in the lunch hall.

It might be government policy handed over to Learning Authorities handed over to head teachers handed over to Midday Assistants etc etc but please don’t drag teachers into it.

This is what he has, Robinsons orange with no added sugar.

Heavily diluted. It's more water than juice.

I think refusing children juice in general is ridiculous but if that's what a parent wants to do then it's their prerogative. It's not down to nursery or school to dictate what children consume.

I agree with this, but unfortunately that seems to be the way things are. It's certainly will be the case when he starts school.

When you go back tonight, I'd ask the nursery exactly how much water he is drinking while he's there and ask them to note it down in his book every day.

At the risk of sounding petty, it's not as if the nursery practitioners are practicing what they preach. Several of them are overweight and I know for a fact they're drinking tea / coffee with sugar in

You sound like such a peach.

You sound like such a peach

Why? Because I'm highlighting the hypocrisy.

I wouldn't dream of telling the nursery staff they shouldn't eat or drink things with sugar in, when they're working, so I don't want my son deprived of something as harmless as juice. I'm the parent I should be left to decide what he can and cannot have.

The fact he's shouting for juice as soon as he gets home, downing it in a minute, then wanting another, speaks volumes.

Mine just asked me for a drink when they wanted one and they got one.
So glad I didn't have to send mine, awful places.
Don't send him back, find somewhere else, slightly better, if one exists.
It's disgusting the way these places operate and they bloody charge too.

I'm a reserved and polite person, I'm not nasty or a problematic parent just annoyed and pointing out a double standard.

I knew there would be hurdles to overcome when he began at nursery because of his conditions but never imagined it would be about juice.

It's the same with his dummy. I will decide when he's ready to give it up, that's ok surely. At the moment he relies on it. His dentist couldn't tell he uses one so we know that for now it isn't affecting his teeth.

They are paid look after him for two days a week not to take the role of a parent and enforce their ideals.

Heavily diluted. It's more water than juice.

Blimey, I should hope it’s more like one tenth juice to water?

OP you need to have a meeting with the nursery rather than trying to resolve these things at handover time. It may be possible to have a care plan for your DS that allows some adjustments such as drinking his own drinks. You say there are other issues, be willing to also be flexible yourself. You may we’ll be right about some of them but they are experts and will know their stuff- give them some credit.

He’s only been there a short time. Is he developing, thriving and generally happy there? Making some friends (although he’s young for this) and learning? Don’t throw those opportunities away in order to make a point about Mum Knowing Best.

Finally I imagine many parents complain if their child is sent home in a wet nappy and consider that to be neglectful. Sometimes the nurseries must feel they just can’t win.

Slightly off topic but isn't it more healthy to add proper juice to water? E.g. the fresh orange juice from cartons etc. The ingredients in squash make me shudder.

That's how we are at our house too Devlesko. If DS asks for a drink we give him one.

Can you imagine as an adult wanting hydration and being told no, you had one an hour ago, or you can only have XYZ at certain times

It's OTT. A child's hydration does not need to be policed like this. It's not as though he's being fed cans of coke.

I think you need to concentrate on the reasonable adjustment as part of the SEN support they should be giving.

My son - who attended a very supportive SEN nursery & school - needed to stay well hydrated for medical reasons and getting him to drink was (still is) an uphill struggle. At one parent's evening with his rather scary teacher, she asked what he drank at home. We laughed and said that he liked a milky decaff coffee, but that obviously wasnt possible at school. She said they already made hot chocolate for another student so they would make him a coffee!! And whats more when I sent in a jar of decaff she sent it back saying it wasn't necessary as they had plenty in the staffroom!!

I would be happy to switch to proper juice diluted with water, as opposed to squash. That wouldn't be a problem. I'm happy to compromise. The problem is they are saying no juice whatsoever.

As a whole, he is thriving and doing well there. We are seeing some brilliant progress with speech, he can now ask for food and drinks whereas before he started he could only say a few numbers and colours. I do think he's benefiting from being around other children.

I just want them to leave the parenting decisions to me.

I agree asking for a meeting is a good idea.

There is zero hypocrisy as adults can each and drink what they want and those same adults are being professionally employed to fulfil small children's physical, dietary, emotional and educational wellbeing. This probably includes a water only rule even if said adults drink sugar in their tea.

Have you tried him with flavoured water? Then it will look the same to everyone else. May be a good compromise if he will.

My son has a very restricted diet (tube fed type restricted) and will only drink squash at home but will drink flavoured water in school