Page 8 | Things that irritate you as a lone parent *lighthearted*

earthtopluto · 2020-10-11T22:09:07+00:00

"It must be hard being his mum AND dad" - erm, no, I'm just his mum! Friend texting me saying "I know how you feel now" after her husband went away for two days. Also, the loneliness (ok, not quite so lighthearted). Anything else?

Itsnotalwaysme · 16/10/2020 14:20

Yeah you learn that some people would actually like to see you fail.

It was my mother, unfortunately.

thepeopleversuswork · 16/10/2020 14:28

The thing that really gets my goat as a working single parent is people having a go at you for not having got around to various fairly non-essential domestic tasks.

There's no excuse for living in a tatty pigsty etc but you get a surprising amount of people asking why you haven't sorted out your garden/why you haven't had new carpets laid/you don't cook elaborate home-cooked meals for your kids.

Often its done in a nudge nudge wink wink "oh you are awful" way, but it still gets my goat that people don't think through the implications of you not ever having any spare time.

MyShinyWhiteTeeth · 16/10/2020 14:30

It irritates me when people pity me for being a failure at managing to keep my abusive relationship going or empathise with how much more difficult having to cope on my own must be.

I actually love being a single parent to one child instead of dealing with one child and a manchild. I always imagined having a supportive partner where we were equals and worked together. I thought I'd picked a decent man. I was sadly disappointed.

My ex was no help whatsoever when we were together. At least now I get a break once a week when he has our child.

I only have to clean up, buy food, cook and wash clothes for both of us. I pay all the bills and can budget. Despite his decent enough salary we were always in debt - it is worth the lack of CM to be free of him.

I don't have to deal with tantrums, PA behaviour, sulking and verbal abuse. The bathroom doesn't stink of urine and the toilet doesn't contain any nasty surprises.

Dealing with a vomiting child when I was ill myself wasn't the best experience but I remember how I pretty much had to force my ex to help out when we were together as he couldn't handle the smell so tried to opt out.

TurquoiseDragon · 16/10/2020 15:25

So almost EO Monday last year I got an email from the teacher saying "DD hasn't done her homework again, this is a persistent problem". I consistently replied with exH's email address saying it was his weekend with her, he picked her up from school on Friday so you need to take it up with him. And she'd do it again the next time!! Only ever sent the initial email to me not to exH. I raised it at parents evening and she asked "can you please remind him that her homework needs to be done". No, he's a grown man and I'm no longer his skivvy.

Time to tell the teacher exactly that. He is an adult, and you are divorced and not his skivvy, administrator or anything else.

wewillmeetagain · 16/10/2020 15:36

@MyShinyWhiteTeeth I completely agree! I love being a single parent, it's way easier than being a parent to four children and a lying, cheating, abusive manchild!

MyShinyWhiteTeeth · 16/10/2020 16:45

I also like being in charge and not having to compromise on raising my child the way I choose.

I think becoming a lone parent after having a decent partner must be hard though.

P999 · 16/10/2020 22:35

The one i hate more than any other is 'well, at least he loves them'. I.e. it excuses being a total car crash around the kids in every conceivable way, cos he's a bloke. If i was 0.0005% as fucking irresponsible and useless, they'd be tutting and sniping about calling in social services.

GlummyMcGlummerson · 16/10/2020 23:08

I think becoming a lone parent after having a decent partner must be hard though

You're absolutely right.

If however you spent your marriage being miserable with a useless manchild who causes more work and stress than being a lone parent does, being a single parent is like heaven on earth.

GlummyMcGlummerson · 16/10/2020 23:14

@P999

The one i hate more than any other is 'well, at least he loves them'. I.e. it excuses being a total car crash around the kids in every conceivable way, cos he's a bloke. If i was 0.0005% as fucking irresponsible and useless, they'd be tutting and sniping about calling in social services.

Yep

My exH couldn't tell you what year the kids are in. He has to check their birthdays. He knows the month, that's about it. He spends fuck all on Christmas and birthdays for them despite being loaded because he's tight. But they're lucky apparently as am I imagine a woman not knowing her kids birthdays - the kids wouldn't be described as lucky.

My mum and dad divorced when I was 1. My mum married my stepdad when I was 4. He's a vile prick who cheated on her, did fuck all around the house despite the fact they both worked full time, treated her like a skivvy and was a compulsive liar. I remember throughout my childhood both me, my siblings and my mum being told we were "so lucky" because this shit of a human "took us on". That's how little women and children are worth - any old prick throws a single mum an iota of attention and no matter who she is she should thank her lucky stars because she's worthless and her kids are baggage this is essentially why I will stay single until they leave home as this attitude is sadly still prevelant

Finals1234 · 16/10/2020 23:26

@thepeopleversuswork

The thing that really gets my goat as a working single parent is people having a go at you for not having got around to various fairly non-essential domestic tasks.

There's no excuse for living in a tatty pigsty etc but you get a surprising amount of people asking why you haven't sorted out your garden/why you haven't had new carpets laid/you don't cook elaborate home-cooked meals for your kids.

Often its done in a nudge nudge wink wink "oh you are awful" way, but it still gets my goat that people don't think through the implications of you not ever having any spare time.

Omg yes! My sil will always, always make a dig about how I havent cut the grass in the garden, or have left a mess or something. My brother is a totally hands on dad so she really doesn't see how hard it is doing it all alone. The sly digs really anger me!

schoolcook · 17/10/2020 08:21

I have 5 DC and am used to all the usual comments etc.
However the one that grated the most was on starting a new job and having the usual chat about kids etc - one woman said 5 ? Wow are they a matching set ?
Yeah all fathered by the same arsehole 🙄

BanginChoons · 17/10/2020 09:44

The assumption that I must be lonely and "Will meet a nice man one day" erm no thanks.

The assumption I get every other weekend off- nope.

The fact that I have declined practically every weekend or evening invitation for the last 6 years if it doesn't involve my kids sucks a bit.