It does gradually get easier as they get older in terms of a bit more independence and a bit less to do.
I remember it feeling really weird when I reached the point I could go out of an evening just to the cinema or a QUICK drink or meal with a friend without needing to either arrange a sitter or do it only on nights dd had a (rare) sleepover, or even just not have to rush to school from town to pick her up!
It feels a bit surreal and like you've "forgotten" something, hard to describe.
And yes I had my share of loneliness too, I found it hard in the early days being used to not only ex being around but the camaraderie of army life too, cos even when he was away the "wives" (in commas as not all married in and there were a few husbands/male partners of serving army too) tended to look out for each other and make sure people had company as did pastoral care officers. Frankly I had a job getting peace sometimes!
I think I missed the "wives" more than the ex to be honest! We stayed friends initially but it's natural for these friendships to dissipate when they move on (both geographically and emotionally).
A few are still good friends but we don't live near each other so it's Facebook and phone calls just.
My ex while I was married to him was not abusive or lazy particularly - though he had his moments as we all do at times!
He wasn't the most enlightened person but I knew that when I married him, we rubbed along ok mostly.
We had 2 major arguments early in the marriage
1 When we first married I wasn't working as I moved too far from the job I had when we were engaged in order to live on base in quarters, I was happy to do the bulk of the housework at this point, it was only for a month or so, but when I did get a FULL TIME job (and with the commute had a longer day than he did) he expected me to carry on doing most of the housework and I was like err...no! Think again!
2 He wasn't great with money as he'd never had to budget due to going straight into army from home and his wage that went into his bank account already had his bills deducted (for accommodation, meals etc) so that was basically his spending money to do with as he pleased and he had no responsibilities/commitments.
So when we married and he wasn't used to having to remember that a portion of his wage needed to be set aside for bills, food etc that led to some issues.
He was also quite blasé about debt - that was partly as he felt complacent as he had a very secure job, but was also because he didn't know you were charged for debt!
He overspent on a load of video games and a new rugby strip, didn't tell me and when I went to buy that weeks groceries the card got declined as there wasn't enough in account!
That sparked the argument, but when he calmed down it led to an interesting discussion on budgeting during which I discovered his lack of knowledge on debt. I pulled out the bank statements (paper in those days) and highlighted the amounts the bank was charging for the overdraft he'd run up and totalled them on a calculator to show him. He was totally shocked! To the point he was like "that can't be legal"
It was quite funny really as for the following couple months he went a bit far the other way and was sort of afraid to spend money!
He was also a terrible brand snob which I had to cure him of because even once I was working we simply couldn't afford Branston pickle, mattesons ham, Coca Cola, Heinz Beans etc
I blame his parents they spoiled the kids terribly, they're lovely people but totally spoiled their kids!
Whereas I came from a background where money was tight - again he struggled to understand as my dad was the same rank as his (both army) so roughly same pay, but my dad was alcoholic.
A fact he knew but I had a really weird conversation where I had to point out to him that there wasn't a lot of money for branded food and holidays etc in my house cos of what dad spent on booze!
He hasn't thought to connect the 2 facts - alcoholic dad and skint household