The friend who doesn't know when to go...

[Goldebeare]

My DH's best mate is single & looking for a girlfriend but has ridiculously high standards so is likely to stay that way.
I genuinely like him a lot & we get on great, but it seems that every Saturday night without fail, he joins us for supper at around 6-7pm. He's always invited & we enjoy his company. But then he & my DH will sit chatting in the kitchen until 1, 2, 3 or even 4am, leaving me watching TV alone or going to bed.
I often get cross about this & make it clear to my DH that I'm not happy, but then I'm seen as the one in the wrong...AIBU?

YANBU. Your husband needs to grow a backbone and show him the door at a reasonable time. If this happened very occasionally, no big deal, but every Saturday night? Nope. That's not on.

Honestly I'm intrigued what his ridiculously high standards are?

Why is he always invited?

When you want to go to bed just go to bed. Leave your OH to sort himself out

JKRowlingIsMyQueen

'She' would need to be beautiful, intelligent, fantastic figure, hot, challenging but obedient, etc...

Why do you invite him every week?

Take it in turns to invite a friend?

LOL seems like you're doing the obedient part for him.

Tell him to go home, start making hints. One more before we all get off to bed.

Or my personal favourite, 'you ain't gotta go home but you gotta get the fuck outta here'.

Florencex
Because he doesn't have many friends, nor does my DH, they moved to this country 5 years ago, so I from that point of view I feel a bit guilty when I make a fuss

What teens said. Not your circus and all

And yep, needless to say he's still here....

Goldebeare,
OMG,
I went through this shit about 25 years ago .
I’m 47 now.
It was all about drugs and drink .

Obedient? He sounds like a pig.

This is your home too, put your foot down.

If you have No Alcohol or DRUGS then ?????????
???????????

Yeah fuck that, it's your home too. Not just your fella's. Why the fuck should you put up with it because he's a demanding prick who wants the moon on a stick? Can't believe that obedience bullshit, does he respect you as much as you respect him here? You're being incredibly kind, but I think you need to toughen up fast. You have a right to your own version of Saturday nights. In fact every night or day. Five years is long enough to make his own network. Not your circus, not your monkeys. He's a leech and sounds awful enough to never get a partner. Are you sure you actually like him rather than just feeling sorry for him? Big difference.

I had an ex fwb like this, I'd make many hints... Nothing. I'd be forthright (for me) and say "the kids will be back soon" to which he would sit there munching crisps loudly. I had to say GO AWAY in the end. Twat.

avamiah
They barely drink alcohol, just coffee & definitely no drugs

I think if you invite him every week and your DH doesn’t mind him staying till the early hours (is that the case?) there’s little reason for him to feel he’s outstayed his welcome. I guess you need to continue to make your feelings clear to DH and maybe try to reduce the invites.

Why not just go to sleep and leave them to chat together? Not sure why it bothers you unless they are being super loud?

Goldebeare ,
That’s Great that they don’t Do DRUGS and hardly any alcohol .
So be straight and tell the guy it was about time he left or just say “fuck off”.

Arrange to do something else next week, with DH, or if he won’t, then go out on your own.

Have you reminded your partner there is a reason the friend is single ?

Tell the friend plainly he is interrupting your weekend private time with your husband and whilst he's welcome to stay for food and socialisation, he needs to go home at 9pm.

I don’t understand - you are happy for him to Visit, you enjoy His company, but he and your husband talk too late?

It has nothing to do with his standards about a girlfriend?

What time do you want him to leave? Surely this is for your husband to manage? Either invite home later or every other weekend?

Or maybe your husband and he could do something else outside the home (rules permitting)?

Doesn’t seem like a hugely difficult problem to solve.

Some responses are awful😂. Tell a guest to fuck off because he stays Too late!!

Much easier and kinder ways of resolving this. The poor guy probably has no idea. He is lonely and is enjoying time with his fiend, who invites him round every week.