I've got C19. Why is my DH now pretending to be ill??

[dinosaurusmum]

I developed mild symptoms Monday (loss of smell, then taste a few days later) have felt a bit out of sorts but generally fine. Ordered home test anyway. Kept kids off school/nursery as precaution. Husband refused to isolate- "I'm not unwell. No symptoms. Why should I?!" In fairness he works outside and no contact with other others so not really a risk but not the point.

I've been extremely tired all week but thought it was migraine related. Imagine my shock to receive a positive Covid19 test today!

Literally the second I received it, DH has decided he is now absolutely desperately unwell. Has been ill for 2 weeks (err, no you haven't!!) Needs to rest over the next few days and has been generally painful to listen to all day.

I'm still feeling exhausted but getting on with it. He has absolutely no C19 symptoms but as with his usual attacks of hypochondria, I have to suck it up and get on with it. Including taking care of our 1&2 year old ds's whilst he sits on his fucking arse.

Aibu to expect him to grow the fuck up and help and that until he gets a positive test to assume he doesn't have it?! He was honestly 100% fine until my results came back.

I am particularly vehement about this because my stbxh is the long-standing champion of the Dressing Gown Of Doom contest and it's just pathetic and underhanded.

Wow! Just WOW! What a lazy entitled git. I feel so, so sorry for you. Why is it women are always the ones that keep going and have to pamper the bigger babies? I really am disgusted on your behalf.

Just a thought, is he FRIGHTENED of having to look after the children on his own?

What does he say when you tell him you've got symptoms and a positive test and he seemed to be fine until you got your results? Or that he can't feel too ill if he's eating pizza and drinking beer? Or that if you're both ill, you need to parent as a team? Or ask why he's taking to bed and leaving kids with you when you're at least as ill as he is?

This behaviour won't be happening in a vacuum. What else is there?

Ignore him.

Or tell him that his pathetic behaviour has shrivelled any sexual desire you have for him

@MyMushroomsInATimeSlip

I would recommend breathing on him and spitting in his food until he has symptoms. Actually give him something to moan about

Jesus wept are you for real?

So what are you going to do about it?

I'm embarrassed for him.

What a pathetic man.

He's not ill. He's jealous you are ill as wants attention. What a dick.

I have to suck it up and get on with it. Including taking care of our 1&2 year old ds's whilst he sits on his fucking arse.

No you really don’t. Are you afraid of him? If not, insist on going to bed and tell him he can deal with the kids. Even if he is actually ill he’s the boy who cried wolf at this point.

I had pneumonia and DP didn't give a shit. He has a cold and takes himself off to bed for a week. Breathes heavily and sniffs every time he walks past to remind me how ill he is.

Bloody hell, you have C19 and are doing childcare too? That's shocking. Do you like your husband? He sounds entirely unlikeable

I will never understand why women marry never mind procreate with these types of useless men. He sounds like a complete waste of space who has form for this yet you’ve had two children with him!!!!

I mentioned to my DH that my back felt sore. He ran me a bath and brought me up a glass of wine while he makes dinner. I have been seriously ill before and he moves heaven and earth to do what he can for me.

Unfortunately as he’s taken himself off to bed there is not much you can do but I would strongly consider leaving him and finding someone who actually loves and cares for you and for gods sake don’t have any more children with him!!!

Hope you feel better soon and that your symptoms improve.

Why on earth are you with this selfish piece of shit?

I'm incensed on your behalf.

This is such a common thing that I can't deal with this man flu shit anymore and nor should you.

Screen shot this whole thread and send it to his phone so he can read it in bed.

OK, so he has form for this, does he? Ponder on this:

You only need to add two letters to the word COVID to reach DIVORCE.

@rewild

I had pneumonia and DP didn't give a shit. He has a cold and takes himself off to bed for a week. Breathes heavily and sniffs every time he walks past to remind me how ill he is.

Why are you still with him?

@pointythings

OK, so he has form for this, does he? Ponder on this:

You only need to add two letters to the word COVID to reach DIVORCE.

Re Covid : divorce

People like this are seeking care. For whatever deep psychological reason they need this care they are not receiving (or maybe are but not enough for them). There may well be a reason why OP with a medical background and her DH are together if he is seeking that care-dynamic. I'm speaking from close experience of this with an almost identical set of experiences. I've seen it destroy the children, and the dynamic doesn't improve unless the hypochondriac 1. admits there is a problem, and 2. seeks out a therapist.

I feel for you op. I've got a competitive one here too.

I'm tired, he's exhausted.
I'm busy, he's completely run off his feet.
I'm I'll, he's dying.

No advice really as you can't change them. I would only say you need to make a life for yourself. And don't have more kids than you already have now you know what he's like.

H sometimes asks in all seriousness why I didn't want any more kids after having DS. Strangely enough he doesn't like the answer which is 'because you were so fucking useless'.

I used to have a competitive one, he’s now an ex husband and I am now married to a grown up.

@MyMushroomsInATimeSlip you’re a dark dark poster . However whilst I publicly condemn you - naughty mushroom. Having found myself a mardy competitive poorly partner..... I understand the urge!

And me. Every time I went down with a tummy bug or similar (when DCs were little) ex DH would be fine until the second I vomited and realised I was poorly..at which point he instantly became iller than me and Id be left with the children. I remember one occasion just sobbing 'No. Please just let me be ill not you too. Just this once.' Pathetic excuse of a man.

Hang on, the OP said she feels a bit out of sorts and lethargic. She doesn't have a fever, aches and pains, hacking cough, difficulty breathing or anything else. She has nothing 2 paracetamol won't fix (unless very fond of taste and smells). Ask him what his symptoms are.
Don't know why you're both vying for prime patient position when there's fuck all wrong with either of you. Just don't pass the lurgy onto anyone else and isolate the pair of you.

And can I just ask, if it's a chore looking after two toddlers, why did you have them so close in age? None of my business, but don't complain about it!

1. You're being a massive hypocrite because you were also entirely fine until you got the results and now all of a sudden you're saying you're desperately unwell.
2. Hypochondria is a real medical condition that your partner may have. Telling him to "grow the fuck up" is no different to telling someone with depression to "cheer the fuck up".

What are his redeeming features op?

He’s a total twat. Literally a useless bit of skin covering a bag of air. WHY are you with him? (I know children, life etc etc but still!)

Has he done this before?

Dancing the OP has tested positive for Covid-19. You're not medically qualified to say what she has can be fixed by 2 paracetamol. & You've no way of knowing if lack of rest will make her feel worse - which is usual for illness, isn't it?

Strange diagnosis.