Group chat - scan pic *trigger warning*

[Suneggs]

Person A has suffered miscarriages in the past (one this year). They posted on social media about baby loss awareness week and this post was liked by Person B who commented that they were thinking of them.

However, Person B then (within an hour of liking the post!) posted a photo of their baby scan in the group chat which has upset Person A

Points of note are that it was a private scan and not one done for medical reasons so not announcing the pregnancy or anything. I agree with Person A and think it was very insensitive however other family members disagree.

Who is BU?

@Marisishidinginmyattic Person A has been very supportive of B. But the family know that this week A is struggling and because she commented on the social media post, B can not claim she isn’t aware.

Also gone through a miscarriage and I feel the same all year round about it, it’s not worse on baby loss awareness week. I wouldn’t have been upset about a scan pic! I’d be happy for my friends

If person A didn't put about baby loss awareness week in the group chat perhaps person B thought that they were ok

I feel for both unfortunately you can live your life compassionately and with empathy but you can't live it for other people. Is this going to happen all through the pregnancy and then the birth.

It's madness it really is both situations co exist in the natural all the time. My friend was going through IVF which didn't work and I had to announce my pregnancy we both understood what the other was going through so we shared it and she's the Godmother to both my children.

I'd let this go for family harmony

@CakeGirl2020 But A didn’t direct her post at B?

@Suneggs so you are person A then?

@Marisishidinginmyattic No. I’m neither. We are all sisters in law. None of us blood related though.

@Suneggs

Apologies. I assumed, since you are clearly in agreement with person A.

@Suneggs but person B didn’t direct her message at person A, it was in a group chat. If she just randomly sent person A a scan photo out the blue and didn’t send it to anyone else I’d be agreeing with you but it was sent on a group chat.

I think you are dragging it out more than it needs to be if you are neither of them and the family are disagreeing over it.

It wasn’t malicious. Support each other and move on.

I think there are days you just don't announce a pregnancy: April 1st; at someone's wedding; baby loss awareness - these things show a lack of maturity or patience. Yes. Pregnancy news is exciting, but there's always context.

@Marisishidinginmyattic A is upset, and the family know what she and her husband have gone through. I can’t imagine the pain they feel. So if I put myself in her shoes, then yes I can understand why she is upset.

@D4rwin I disagree, my cousin announced her twin pregnant on April fools, it wasn’t an April fool at all. It’s only inappropriate to announces a fake pregnancy on April fools.

@MiddleClassProblem Actually, posting on here has been helpful as it has shown B’s point of view.

Person B was crass.

Apologies for the typos, I should learn to proof read!

Is there some form of hierarchy amongst the sil? You seem to be convinced that B is absolutely in the wrong. Are they only allowed to post things about them when you approve, absolutely agree its a very horrible, awful time for A but are you having this negative opinion about everyone A knows who is pregnant at the moment and has posted about it?

Thoughtless thing to do

It's Baby Loss Awareness Week, it's not the date the person has miscarried, it's not even the Anniversary. How many dates/weeks does person B have to organise her good news around?
It's very sad but life goes on and someone doesn't 'need' a reason to share good news with a family group where you'd assume members would be happy for her.
I've had several miscarriages and also been under the fertility clinic so I'm not unsympathetic but I wouldn't have batted an eyelid over family sharing good news/a scan picture during a random week in October.

B should have waited a day imo.

Did A lose a baby this week or even worst today? Then very insensitive obviously.

Did A lose the baby weeks or months ago? Then A is BU.
Posting about whatever awareness week has nothing to do with B private current event.

A is massively BU. It's understandable to be sad, but not right to police whatever private event others are perfectly entitled to share.

Was the scan today after B had liked the post? Had she just come out from the appointment?

If it was, I can understand B being carried away and wanting to share her news but given that she had just liked person A's post and knew she was struggling AND it was a small family group chat, she could have easily just sent the scan to family members individually.

If she already had the scan before she liked the post, then decided to send the photo to the group chat, that's actually pretty nasty.

Is there upset between the brothers or only the wives?

I think sharing scan photos is always a bit weird. It’s a picture of your insides.

Does B have a habit of showing off?

[quote Suneggs]@MiddleClassProblem Actually, posting on here has been helpful as it has shown B’s point of view.[/quote]
But even since hearing that you have continued to go back to painting B as in the wrong.

Even if B was in the wrong, it wasn’t meant to upset anyone. She is pregnant and excited. A has every right to feel upset but it doesn’t mean that B should be vilified.

Either way, you are just a bystander and should support both of them.

I think sharing scan photos is always a bit weird. It’s a picture of your insides.

that must be one of the weirdest comment I have seen on here

You do realise the point of the scan is the... baby? Not the patient' internal organs?

@Notthetoothfairy

I think Person A.

Person B is no doubt sorry to hear of her loss but that doesn’t mean she should have to refrain from ever mentioning her own news to her friends. When she has the baby, does she have to pretend they don’t exist until they’re 18 or Person A also has children?

One hour V 18 years

I think there's probably quite a range within that, that makes talking about your pregnancy it children is fine.

However, it's not one hour after someone raising awareness of baby loss week

FFS