To think this pandemic has provided deep insight into people's character?

[rosesbloom]

I have found it quite illuminating seeing people's reactions. Friends and family members I have known for years have surprised me. It is like this situation has acted like a catalyst to reveal people's true nature, values and character.

A friend I had known for years and thought was a kind and empathetic person said the vulnerable just need to accept that they will die if they catch it and everything needs to carry on as normal. I have an underlying health condition she doesn't know about. I just sat there in stunned silence.

It has even shown me things about myself I didn't realise. It has shown me how anxious I am about my health, usually all those worries are internal and I keep them to myself but they have had to be brought out into the light when I explain to friends/family why I don't feel comfortable going for a meal in a restaurant at the moment despite it being "allowed" and "COVID-19 secure". Even though I know I engage in risky behaviours all the time like driving a car, crossing a road, etc it is like I have a blind spot with accurately assessing COVID risks.

Have any of you had any surprising revelations from people?

Yes most definitely especially from what I call the wider family. Mainly my DM cousins and all their children. All getting together EVERY weekend, putting all their photos on Facebook for all to see. There are between 15-40 of them as they've all had a lot of children. They think it doesn't matter as they are all in "their bubble" but they all live in seperate houses - some are 2 to a house and some are 4 to a house etc it's hard not to call them out on it.

I agree to a certain extent, but you have to remember that some people have a lot more at stake than others. People are losing jobs, livelihoods and in some cases their homes. For them it’s not a matter of missing their summer holiday. Their entire lives are being destroyed and they can do very little about it.

In those cases I have some empathy.

@HamishDent yes I do agree with this. There's nothing else left for them

I've realised that some people I thought of as good friends are actually not that fussed about me while people I wasn't so close to picked up that I haven't been on top form and checked in frequently just to see how I was doing.

I've realised that I have some utterly fantastic neighbours who've really pulled together including dropping off shopping and meds to my elderly parents when we had to quarantine.

In terms of the wider population, I've noticed that although some people were full of community feeling when they were out clapping the NHS, now that they're realising that it's going to be a long haul, they've started pushing the boundaries of what's allowed now because they've "had enough".

I've also realised how utterly hard of thinking some people are when what they've being told to do doesn't fit with what they want to do.

And I’m also happy to accept I am mildly hysterical and over anxious. Not so many people would accept they are selfish

I accept I'm selfish to some degree (and try to struggle against it). Literally everyone is selfish to varying degrees. High levels of anxiety can make even reasonably unselfish people pretty selfish in my experience - I've definitely seen people display a selfish disregard for the massive collateral damage caused by all the restrictions which make them personally feel 'safe'.

Hamishdent and if they moan about it they are told they are practically murderers. By all the selfless people sitting in their houses tapping on their computers.

I've ditched friends during lockdown because....I've been there physically emotionally financially for 20 plus years along comes covid me and the kids get sick the kids really sick couldnt lift their heads off the pillows I was worried loads if people were i had offers of help and support from people I hardly knew one person i had literally met less than a month prior was dropping milk and fruit off for us when we got through it all i realised not once had my friend messaged me not once had she asked if we were OK in fact she didn't call me for months then asked if she could have a few thousand pounds or my caravan (i don't have a caravan) because she hadn't bothered paying her rent and was surprised they were considering eviction again 🤔 she hung up on me when i suggested a payment plan would be better and perhaps pay her rent in future? We haven't spoken since

Really bought home how one sided everything was

Burningthetoast What if it doesn't fit with what they need to do? Like earn money to feed their children? Are they allowed to stand up for themselves then?

Obviously I am selfish too. Of course everyone is. I covet the last biscuit, aren’t always kind, sometimes resentful. But I’m not openly cool about sacrificing vulnerable people selfish.

@Treesofwood. Yep the utter selfishness works both ways. How older people or those who consider themselves to be vulnerable are quite happy to expect the young and people who are working in industries which have been crushed due to lockdown restrictions to sacrifice their livelihoods and futures for something that doesn’t really affect them. With no end in sight.

There is no zero cost/ pain exit strategy but the fact that some people are being asked to pay an incredibly heavy personal price solely to protect others should not be ignored.

Everyone has selfish impulses, but we managed to function collectively as a species because we also have the ability to override those impulses
(The extent of the aforementioned ability obviously varies widely 😶)

@SisterAgatha. Of course you’re being selfish. You’re expecting people to make sacrifices that cause harm to them personally to protect you. It’s understandable as people by their very nature think of themselves and their loved ones first. But don’t dress it up in claiming that you’re not.

I realised how giving I was actually, I spent a lot of time supporting the people around me, up until this point I thought I was a little selfish, but this situation helped me see that I am a very caring person. Perhaps too giving even, because others sometimes take advantage.

I also realised I spent a lot of my pre covid life weighed down with jobs and boring stuff when I should have been more parties, more fun and more friends over. How I regret not having summer and christmas parties when we were able to

Made me realise how much spite and resentment there is on MN towards the elderly, vulnerable, over 50s, those richer than you, those more fortunate than you, those in a better position than you, those born in certain decade, those with more opportunities, those with a pension, homeowners, even towards those disappointed over the potential impact to Christmas.

Society needs to be better for everyone but the vitriol needs to stop.

Can't see how the human race can get past this and climate change. Too selfish.

I have been surprised how polarised many people have become. I would not have expected such extremes opinion, or for those opinions to be so strongly held. It’s like the grey areas have all been pulled from the middle. I do wonder if this is a side effect of the Brexit debate.

The people I know tend to fall into one of the following:

1. The global conspiracy theorists
2. The “JUST STAY AT HOME!” camp
3. The “everyone back to normal, it’s just flu” camp
4. The balanced camp, usually along the following lines, but flexible and happy to consider other opinions; “yes, the new state powers are worrying, possibly necessary, possibly not, but unlikely to be a sure sign of a global conspiracy; yes, we should take action as a country and individuals to limit the spread, but remaining in full lockdown is probably best avoided so long as the NHS is coping; yes, Covid is just one of many circulating illnesses we live with, but it does seem to carry a risk worthy of active management”

Fortunately most of my friends fall into #4, but many have surprised me by falling into 1, 2 or 3.

Friends I've been thinking about that too. I plan to be far more social in my own home in future. My mini project is to make it more welcoming / decluttered. Silver linings.

Only myself. I'm a coward (emotionally, not physically).
Everyone else is reacting how I expected.

DynamoKev to be fair you could say the same about the shit directed at 'millenials' thats been going on for years. On top of that young people are yet again going to be taking the worst of economic damage of all this on thir backs, yet again after years of austerity. In the middle are billionaire media barons playing us off against each other so we ignore the real enemy (them).

I’ve seen how utterly selfish a lot of people are, how they will always prioritise themselves and make an excuse for their selfish behaviour. I’ve also seen so much kindness from other people with them going well out of their way to help strangers or neighbours they barely knew. Amazing to see front line staff sometimes having to not see their loved ones while they are working to help others, such a huge sacrifice

I've learnt I'm better at coping than I thought and that I'm far less observant than I realised. Unsurprisingly I've not noticed anything about anyone else.

Yes that sadly alot of people are frightening, believe the hype and are desperate to feel "safe". I had thought people had more backbone, more spirit, more independent thought.

@SisterAgatha

Obviously I am selfish too. Of course everyone is. I covet the last biscuit, aren’t always kind, sometimes resentful. But I’m not openly cool about sacrificing vulnerable people selfish.

But it’s not so cut and dry... lockdown is also sacrificing vulnerable people, just a different set of vulnerable people. I’m following the rules. I’ve lost my job due to Covid but we can still pay our bills (just) and have enough space and a back garden. Would I behave the same if my entire livelihood was at risk? I don’t know. Maybe I’d feel like I was being thrown to the wolves to protect a different group of people. Expecting those people to lose their livelihoods/sacrifice their own mental health to protect others... that’s also selfish. Covid isn’t the only killer... unemployment/poverty/recession also kills.

And im neither a 'millenial' or 'boomer', just ashamed at the start we give our young people and the nastyness directed at any failings of theres when we give them the shittest, most debt ridden possible start.

I’ve also realised how many, even on a parenting forum, seem to despise children.

The thing that makes me the saddest js I’ve seen a lot (often on here) that disabled people really are seen as less important and worthy than able bodied people. I honestly didn’t realise how many people see myself and other disabled/vulnerable people as less. Just take the lady on here who thinks everyone vulnerable should just be forced to stay at home indefinitely as it’s unfair her healthy son should have to miss his cricket camp