To think this pandemic has provided deep insight into people's character?

[rosesbloom]

I have found it quite illuminating seeing people's reactions. Friends and family members I have known for years have surprised me. It is like this situation has acted like a catalyst to reveal people's true nature, values and character.

A friend I had known for years and thought was a kind and empathetic person said the vulnerable just need to accept that they will die if they catch it and everything needs to carry on as normal. I have an underlying health condition she doesn't know about. I just sat there in stunned silence.

It has even shown me things about myself I didn't realise. It has shown me how anxious I am about my health, usually all those worries are internal and I keep them to myself but they have had to be brought out into the light when I explain to friends/family why I don't feel comfortable going for a meal in a restaurant at the moment despite it being "allowed" and "COVID-19 secure". Even though I know I engage in risky behaviours all the time like driving a car, crossing a road, etc it is like I have a blind spot with accurately assessing COVID risks.

Have any of you had any surprising revelations from people?

How older people or those who consider themselves to be vulnerable are quite happy to expect the young and people who are working in industries which have been crushed due to lockdown restrictions to sacrifice their livelihoods and futures for something that doesn’t really affect them. With no end in sight

Hard financial times have always existed. Money can always be made. People will not be down on their luck forever no matter what they think now. That is a matter of circumstance, it could have been any number of things that might have gone on to cause a recession and livelihoods are at risk of being lost all the time. All it takes is one major illness in a family and without a bread winner lots of people would sink.

By contrast you cannot bring people back from the dead to earn more money. That is why lives are more important than business.

@username108

I stopped caring about other people a long time ago- most people are selfish and self-absorbed, so I decided to be the same way. If someone's great aunt dies of Covid at 90, is that really such a tragic thing? They have lived 90 years ffs. Nobody is going to live forever.

Sorry but that's clearly just the way you give yourself permission to be a selfish piece of work.

What a vile comment. Does it occur to you that lots of people lost friends and family that weren't 90 year old aunts?

"this was all Bill Gates, he's planning to kill six billion people". hmm I never got a real answer explaining why Bill is planning this.

By cleaning up patenting a dud vaccine - to make more money, I suppose. DH leans towards this persuasion.

I’m not sure.

I’ve definitely seen a lack of empathy in some people. The “oh I’ve so enjoyed the change of pace/ time with family / whatever” brigade. Just think for a moment about your audience - if you don’t know for a fact they haven’t lost loved ones / lost jobs/ suffered from loneliness and in other ways, then keep it zipped.

This pandemic can not be framed as a good thing.

I’ve also seen the support that local friends and neighbours have given each other which is very heartwarming though.

@TheDuchessofMalfy

I’m not sure.

I’ve definitely seen a lack of empathy in some people. The “oh I’ve so enjoyed the change of pace/ time with family / whatever” brigade. Just think for a moment about your audience - if you don’t know for a fact they haven’t lost loved ones / lost jobs/ suffered from loneliness and in other ways, then keep it zipped.

This pandemic can not be framed as a good thing.

I’ve also seen the support that local friends and neighbours have given each other which is very heartwarming though.

I agree that this pandemic has been a lesson in the need for tact.

Empathy has been lacking on all sides of all debates - that is a unifying feature.

Holyrivolli And I don’t expect anyone to protect me, my husband is out every day teaching in college so that other people can continue their lives. I am not vulnerable and I do what I can in my power to protect myself and others.

And saying someone is virtue signalling just because they aren’t keen on lots of people dying just means you’ve misunderstood what VS is. I lost a parent in my teens, I would absolutely not wish that on anyone. We were poor after. And being poor was better than being dead tbh.

I am bound to say, that it is noticeable that lots of people have become selfish, critical of others ,and say that their lives have been ruined by the pandemic. It is a massive generational change that has happened.

I was born in the last war,and everyone will know about all the hardships. of rationed food, or no food, hardly anything to buy in the shops,no great medical things until after 1948,, not to mention whole families killed, and bombed out of their houses.

I also had old family members, who died in the world wide Spanish flu pandemic. But it was a generation, who just had to make do with everything, and their was no time, or any techno stuff, to be broadcasting your woes and hardships to all and sundry. People just got on with making do with everything, and sharing things with their neighbours. all in the same boat so to speak.

Most people don't like to hear about the likes of me, and other oldies, banging on about the war years etc., but its a reminder of how much things have change within people, how much they now have, but still complain about anything and everything, and are very critical about others.

@1forAll74 well said. Very true.

I have been surprised that lots of people don't realise that Millions of self employed workers have received no financial help. The Music industry will not get going again until into 2021 at the earliest, so there is no or very little work available until then. Retraining in your 50's, with a Music College education (ie no recognised degree status) and no other experience other than playing an instrument is pretty hard.
My brother just said we should have saved up more. His family is financially ok. We are about to run out of savings after living off them since March. I don't know what the future holds for us.

@TheDuchessofMalfy

I’m not sure.

I’ve definitely seen a lack of empathy in some people. The “oh I’ve so enjoyed the change of pace/ time with family / whatever” brigade. Just think for a moment about your audience - if you don’t know for a fact they haven’t lost loved ones / lost jobs/ suffered from loneliness and in other ways, then keep it zipped.

This pandemic can not be framed as a good thing.

I’ve also seen the support that local friends and neighbours have given each other which is very heartwarming though.

People can be in both camps at the same time you know...

Again, why trying to polarise everything.

I have had some good lessons from the pandemic which will benefit me for the rest of my life

AND

Me and my husband have both lost our jobs and are at risk of bankruptcy.

I'm embarrassed by how hysterical MN is. Scaremongering helps no one.

For sure. I've distanced myself from a few people in light of similar attitudes.

Nothing worse than Mums saying their kids mental health is suffering because they can't go to some shit Christmas themed market. I swear these people would sacrifice their Nan's and disabled/sick neighbours for the most pathetic & unnecessary things!

*username108

I stopped caring about other people a long time ago- most people are selfish and self-absorbed, so I decided to be the same way. If someone's great aunt dies of Covid at 90, is that really such a tragic thing? They have lived 90 years ffs. Nobody is going to live forever.*

What an actual piece of shit you are.

Hard financial times have always existed. Money can always be made. People will not be down on their luck forever no matter what they think now. That is a matter of circumstance, it could have been any number of things that might have gone on to cause a recession and livelihoods are at risk of being lost all the time. All it takes is one major illness in a family and without a bread winner lots of people would sink

By contrast you cannot bring people back from the dead to earn more money. That is why lives are more important than business

@SisterAgatha I had exactly this thought earlier today

I have huge sympathy for individuals who lose their jobs, but there's always scope for their circumstances to improve in future

A few of my friends are on the verge of mental break downs and at least one said she contemplated suicide.

I don’t know how many will survive if we go into lockdown again.

A few are single parents with adult children who were wfh and on their own all through lockdown with no company.

The loneliness was deafening to them.

One only worked for the social side. To get out and about and to meet and talk to people each day.
The lockdown has had serious affects on her mental health

I'm constantly surprised at how many people keep referring to the 'vulnerable' and how we are only taking these measures to protect 'them' whilst sacrificing every one else. I don't understand why people can't see that if we let the virus rip through society, the hospitals will be full of covid. We can't send the patients to the nightingale hospitals and keep the others covid free, because they didn't build any more staff while they were building the hospitals .... and the number of doctors and medical professionals will be drastically reduced if they are affected by covid (even if they don't die). Or should the teachers and the doctors and the train drivers all continue to work whilst sick too, to ensure that 'normal life' continues?
The virus is the reason that we can't go back to normal life; not the vulnerable. I can't understand how many people think that they will be able to pick up their 2019 life and it will be like it was? Where will the children go when schools are shut because the teachers are off? (Local school shut indefinitely due to number of teachers either positive or a close contact...) who will buy a coffee from the man coughing all over it while making it? Who will get onto the crowded tubes and trains to travel around when they are overcrowded and you are literally breathing in other people's germs?
Wasn't there a SAGE meeting where they raised the point that in order to allow the disease to rip through and the NHS not to be overwhelmed, everyone over 45 would have to be classed as vulnerable?

By contrast you cannot bring people back from the dead to earn more money. That is why lives are more important than business

But if you are too old to get another job so you can’t earn more money. What then?

@SoUtterlyGroundDown

I’ve also realised how many, even on a parenting forum, seem to despise children.

to be fair. I noticed this on MN from way before Covid

I think it has magnified personality traits that were already there.

People, when afraid, want Rules and guidance, even if those giving it are incompetent. Data is hard for many to interpret (myself included!)

There's only one person that has made me raise an eyebrow, a friend of mine who is on the vulnerable list. She didn't leave her garden during lockdown but once it ended she has gone back to her normal.life - shopping, holidaying, eating out, in and out of friend's houses. I thought she might be a bit more cautious. Everyone else seems to be pretty true to form.

A few of my friends are on the verge of mental break downs and at least one said she contemplated suicide

That is so sad oliver I hope they are in a better place now. It makes you really worry how some people will cope in the winter.

I agree with PP that the pandemic has highlighted how selfish people can be.

Those who are vulnerable or who have vulnerable loved ones are understandably extremely worried and anxious about Coronavirus, but they often fail to acknowledge that protecting them comes at an extraordinary cost to others. The sense of entitlement and lack of gratitude is astonishing.

Conversely the non-vulnerable can sometimes act as though people are expendable and that as long as the odds are in their favour then they are willing to make very few sacrifices at all. They too show a pretty awful sense of entitlement.

I guess though surely this proves that people are people and whether we are vulnerable or not, we all have a tendency to be selfish. If have little doubt that if the circumstances of people were to change or the virus operated in a different way then there old still be these two camps of people, but they would be simply be populated by a different blend of people.

I have been amazed at how people are unable to apply any logical thinking and analyse easily available imperical data from the ONS and are taking everything that the media is feeding them as gospel.

Many people who I deemed to be rationale people are acting quite the contrary.

I am shocked that some people think it is entirely reasonable that hundreds of families should be forced to make themselves destitute to benefit other people.
I am also shocked that some people think it is entirely reasonable to pay other people to take risks to their lives that they are not willing to take to their own life. (eg online shopping) Almost like the creation of a servant class.

I think this.

This situation affects everyone differently. We are all a bit selfish, we all want to survive. We all care the most about ourselves and our families.

In March/April you were a selfish murderer for wanting to go for a run outside.

September you're a selfish murderer for wanting your children to receive an education or wanting to earn a living.

I just dislike the partisanship about it. You can be genuinely concerned for people who have mental health problems which are exacerbated by lockdown and worry for vulnerable families which aren't recieving their normal support while also recognising that the virus could cripple the NHS and wanting to protect medical staff and the vulnerable.

I also can't stand the sheer idiocy of the conspiracy theory nonsense. The Bill Gates stuff, no such thing as covid, 5G, masks are suffocating us nonsense. Makes me realise how stupid lots of people are.