To be fed up of people worrying about Christmas

[HyperHippo]

Tbf I am not always a big Christmas fan due to the usual family worries and loss etc so that probably changes how I look at it.

But this year of all years I am just hoping for a quiet one where I can go with the flow, be it a small or big Christmas. Instead, I have had masses of messages debating what we will be allowed (due to Covid) to do, what Plan A, B, C, D and E should be depending on the rules and panicking that we may not be able to see one another.

These are lovely family members who I love very much, but I guess I just feel like there is so much else going on this year. I am sure we will see each other at some point over the Christmas holiday, even if in smaller groups, that it just doesn't seem something to be stressing about.

I also feel the personal upset some people are showing that they may not get a full on Christmas is a little self-centred with everything going on. All these family members live with partners/children so there is no one being left alone if we are unable to do a joint Christmas as usual.

Totally get we want something to look forward to but it is extraordinary circumstances and we just need to wait and see!

I’m worried about CherryPavlova’s Christmas Eve village nativity play, complete with sheep in fairy lights.

What will happen to the safari supper with Cumberland sauce and a star shaped cherry pavlova?

I'm a planner. I plan everything we do. I get terrible anxiety if I don't have a plan to follow. I don't mind so much deviating from a plan but I need to have a rough plan in place or I can't enjoy myself.

We should have been away for Christmas (on a cruise) which has, understandably, been cancelled. My family are over 200 miles away and they are a family of 5, we are a family of 4, so could not get together under Rule of 6. DSS lives 1/2 hour away but is also a family of 5 so can’t meet up due to numbers. DMiL will probably be with SiL and her partner; DFiL lives in an area of Wales in lockdown so can’t travel this far. DSD lives in London and could come to us as things stand - but would have to come by public transport so that’s another negative.

I’ve told DH that we’re shutting the door and doing no socialising over Christmas, we shouldn’t be here anyway so I don’t want to play hostess!! And, if anyone wants to complain, they can do so to a closed front door for all I care this year!!

YANBU and I love Christmas. Obviously I'm disappointed for myself and my DC that we won't get to do the things we usually do every year (panto, skating etc) but we'll be together, at home, and we'll make it special regardless.

I'm upset that I may not get to see my grandfather and other close family members but everything else (parties etc) just seems trivial this year. It's made me appreciate the people in my life and the contact we take for granted so much more.

I'm quite disgusted by this thread. So many people saying they are hoping for something that will make a lot of people miserable, just because they can't manage to say what they want from Christmas. How pathetic and cruel.

I am losing a years-long tradition of Christmas with my friends, as well as what would have been the first Christmas in many years with my brother who has been out of the country. This has also been a difficult year personally in addition to the pandemic, and it would have been really nice to actually have a nice celebration at the end of it.

MN is awash with posters every Christmas saying they'd much rather have a quiet day with their own household. Well, this will probably be the case this year!

We alternate between seeing my parents and the in-laws each year. I'd live to see my parents but as an infant teacher I have high levels of exposure and they are elderly so it's not the responsible thing to do even if it is allowed. I'm OK with it, it's sad but we spent lots of time with them this summer and we'll do video calls etc.

My colleague redularly hosts 23 people for Christmas Dinner and absolutely loves it. Makes a huge effort, really enjoys the sociable aspect, has loads of nights out, dinner drinks, club events etc. I think because we're a 'quieter' sort of family we'll miss it less than people used to loads of social activities.

We'll open presents, cook and eat lovely food, play with toys, watch films, go for a walk, eat more, phone our family, doze off, eat more and go to bed!

@Everydayimhuffling

I'm quite disgusted by this thread. So many people saying they are hoping for something that will make a lot of people miserable, just because they can't manage to say what they want from Christmas. How pathetic and cruel.

I am losing a years-long tradition of Christmas with my friends, as well as what would have been the first Christmas in many years with my brother who has been out of the country. This has also been a difficult year personally in addition to the pandemic, and it would have been really nice to actually have a nice celebration at the end of it.

Honestly same. Like how tone deaf do you have to be? “Oh it’ll be a lovely cosy day with DH and DC” well I’m genuinely happy for you, that sounds so nice, but can you not see how upsetting it will be for those of us stuck totally alone? You’re not exactly the people who should be fucking “worrying about Christmas” if you’re happy with the way things are looking

Yeah it’s stupid - it’s just one year! I haven’t seen my family since last Christmas as I live abroad - I’d give anything to see them! But I’ve decided it’s not worth the risk to travel by plane when loads of other will and potentially bringing the virus to my parents house!

Staying put this year with my husband and might see some friends if possible over the break at different stages.

It’s crap but what can you do - it’s just one year ffs

I don't give a shit about Christmas per se, but I live 200 miles away from my elderly parents, and work in education so Christmas is when i have 2 weeks off and time to see them. So yes, I'm going to worry about Christmas. I saw them last Christmas and at Feb half term when my mum was really sick and I went and looked after her. Then easter and may half term visits had to be cancelled. Then I saw them in July for a week. And I'm hoping to see them again at Christmas. So yes, I'm going to worry, because if I can't go, I'll be alone and they'll be alone.

And to add, I live alone, and have nobody other than my parents. Yes, it's just one year, but they are in their 70s, my dad is disabled, my mum was really unwell in February and I'm conscious that we don't have many years left. So yes, I'm going to worry about whether I can see them or not.

The ocado delivery slots for Christmas week are available to book tomorrow morning. Its usually the start of october and the signals the Christmas plans conversations, because i need to know what I'm ordering.

@Figgygal

Well my flights home for Christmas to see my family for the first time in a year (my kids are desperate to go) have been cancelled today so yeah I am worrying about Christmas some of us have to plan early

Sorry for asking @Figgygal sorry for asking who are you meant to fly with. I’m booked on the 27th of dec with EasyJet and despite the phone assistant feo easyJet Telling me my Flight is def going ahead ... I can see the whole route has been dropped until middle of March. Last time I saw my family was the 26th of dec last year so would have been nice to see them. But now I’ve completely accepted it’s going to be cancelled so can’t wait to hear for the cancellation so I can recover my money

@ShinyMe for you

Christmas is often derided as materialistic (and indeed we do buy and give too much!) but behind it buried amongst the gifts is still the spirit of family, giving, sharing, celebration and wonderment. The things I will miss about Christmas this year are the concerts, the carol services, the children's Christmas parties, the pantomimes and things like that. It will be the first Christmas that DS will really be old enough to appreciate it (and his last one as a toddler) so yes, I am a little sad that so much of what makes it wonderful for us will be cancelled.

That's not even taking into account not seeing family. Maybe it's different for those lucky enough to live near enough to their families that they can just pop in for lunch, but our family all live in different parts of the country hours away from each other. DS has only seen his grandparents a handful of times this year and hasn't seen his uncles and aunt since February since we've all been obeying the rules about mixing and therefore not meeting at my parents house.

Yes, there are worse things and it's important not to get Christmas out of perspective. But it's a long, cold miserable winter ahead.

I’m trying not to think about it. I mean I’ve started Christmas shopping so that I’m organised as usual but I’m going things change for the better to allow things to be a bit more normal. I have small kids at home who are too small to really get it and a his and who works all hours as he’s a farmer so spend a lot of time alone being asked for snacks. Christmas Day is one of the very few days a year where I get to see lots of people and I don’t have to cook 345 times a day only for it to either go cold waiting forever him to come in or get thrown out because the kids have chucked it on the floor again. I usually really look forward to it from about now but I can’t really think about it this year. Yeah I know there’s people in worse situations across the world but when it’s so very rare that my husband can get in for proper meals with us and that I don’t have to cook it’s a little bit upsetting to think it won’t happen. It will- as it stands now- just be exactly the same as any other day only there will be even less open than there currently is in order to entertain small children who really don’t understand Christmas yet. And I’m not really looking forward to that!

What a horrible thread, YABU OP - just because you don’t care doesn’t mean other people can’t and shouldn’t.

To echo what others have said, our family members live 200 miles away and they’ve seen my baby either once or not at all. God forbid that we might look forward to Christmas because we haven’t been able to see each other at all because of all the restrictions. After a totally shit year, it’s the one thing a lot of people are still hanging onto as something to look forward to.

Life is for living and I don’t intend to live it miserably.

There's not lots going on this year.

There's nothing going on this year. There were no easter get togethers, no big weddings, no birthday parties or christening celebrations. There will be no Halloween parties, no bon fire night events.

Christmas isn't just one day. Generally, the festive season is weeks of events, juggling babysitters and can dh be home in time for me to go out, and costumes for school nativity plays.

This year we might get the day only, so its important. Or more likely, families that normally see everyone in one day, will be juggling lots of separate meet ups over the Christmas period to keep under 6 at a time.

With nothing else happening, with no other normal social occasions for so long, Christmas is even more important this year.

We are always 8 for Christmas us four, my parents and PIL. We have lovely traditions and every year I see how frail FIL is and worry if it will be the last.

If PIL come over from Spain we'll possibly draw the curtains and have Christmas Day night as 8 anyway.

Calculated risk. We all do chuff all else all year anyway.

I'm actually finding myself really annoyed that someone is moaning about me being anxious about Christmas. If you have some family members you live with or nearby, then lucky you. But please remember that not everyone is the same. Christmas happens to be when I don't have to work, so I would like to be able to see the very few people I love for once, if that's ok with you OP. I'm sorry if my worrying is annoying you, but honestly, think about it for a minute before you have a moan.

I LOVE Christmas but I’m sick of people owning about it too. We’ve all suffered a lot this year, we unfortunately need to keep going with life how it is at the moment and if that means a very quiet Christmas this year, we will have to make it nice in other ways. It’s not the end of the world!

• moaning

Christmas is important in my family. I am 65 and have never spent a Christmas away from my parents.

It's the one time all my family get together - my parents, my siblings and their OH's, my nieces and their OH's and my nephews and their OH's. We spend Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day together.

Me and DH live almost 200 miles from my parents. They don't have room for us to stay so we have to sort out a hotel or airbnb. We have dogs so have to arrange for them to go to a dog sitter or kennel.

If our dogs have to go to kennels they will need to be innoculated against kennel cough which has to be done at least SIX weeks before they go.

I give up. People who live with families don't get it, do they?

My father has terminal cancer. My DH has cancer.

They are both asking about Christmas- I dont blame them

We will have 10 people at our house. I am quite happy to go to court for holding an illegal gathering- bring it on.

@Dontforgetyourbrolly

The rule of 6 has been an absolute gift to me this year , all I want is a quiet day !

Same!