To be fed up of people worrying about Christmas

[HyperHippo]

Tbf I am not always a big Christmas fan due to the usual family worries and loss etc so that probably changes how I look at it.

But this year of all years I am just hoping for a quiet one where I can go with the flow, be it a small or big Christmas. Instead, I have had masses of messages debating what we will be allowed (due to Covid) to do, what Plan A, B, C, D and E should be depending on the rules and panicking that we may not be able to see one another.

These are lovely family members who I love very much, but I guess I just feel like there is so much else going on this year. I am sure we will see each other at some point over the Christmas holiday, even if in smaller groups, that it just doesn't seem something to be stressing about.

I also feel the personal upset some people are showing that they may not get a full on Christmas is a little self-centred with everything going on. All these family members live with partners/children so there is no one being left alone if we are unable to do a joint Christmas as usual.

Totally get we want something to look forward to but it is extraordinary circumstances and we just need to wait and see!

Cannot say on MN that Christmas is a total crock of sht for so many.

Just have to look at all the angst threads about travelling five hours or so, maybe less to be stuck on the Royle Family sofa for days on end.

I do not partake. Just me and OH. Nice food, nice grog and PJs. Family agree!

We usually meet up together in January, but that might not happen either.

Do what you want.

I don’t understand the debate. Given it’ll be winter the situation will be worse not better than now. Boris may lift the rules for a day but what difference does this make? It doesn’t magically hide the virus away for 48 hours. Mixing households, indoors, often for extended periods will still present the same risk to often vulnerable relatives. Don’t want that on my conscience and I normally love hosting.

Decided doing our own thing this year.

I'm genuinely really sorry for people who do enjoy celebrating. I however fall into the "it's a relief/gets me off the hook" category.

We will do stockings and tree pressies, nice breakfast with my kids. 11am their dad collects them until Boxing Day evening. Previously I might been under pressure to scurry around to other family members houses miles away, because I was "free" and so spent most of the day in the car.

Instead however, I return to bed until my bubble approved partner turns up late afternoon. Snacking drinking and a lie in next morning.

The only thing I'm missing is the Christingle Service which is in the balance at the moment, and the pantomime but tbh pantomime cost a bomb and I've had reduced earnings due to lockdown so a bit of a relief in a way.

I'll go and visit my parents with the kids in Christmas week at some point, restrictions allowing, on a day when my brothers and sisters aren't there to keep numbers down, which will actually be less stressful.

I'm secretly hoping that no households are allowed to mix. Not that I think it's necessary and good for "the virus", I'd just fancy a Christmas staying at home.

I've already said to my wife I'm not doing the Christmas Day trip to church (is the only time I go and it will save me being a hypocrite for an hour), so a day at home would be perfect.

I am undecided on YBU. I think I understand why some people might feel the year has been so tough, they have given up so much, that Christmas was a shining light and so the dampening of it feels like a hurdle too far. Especially for people who have been isolated as a result of restrictions and wanted a chance to reconnect with friends and family. Or people who are financially struggling as a result of lost jobs etc.

I also agree that, even though I am a massive Christmas fan and love having all the family together, this year it's going to be a case of trying to enjoy a smaller, lower key version. Three of us, a bit of telly, pyjamas all day, some nice dinner and peace. Trying to be grateful for what we have - which is still a lot.

I agree. And I hope the rule of 6 doesn’t change as I’m looking forward to it just being the 4 of us! I’m all for a ‘quiet’ Christmas. It’s what you make it.

I am planning Christmas- we need something to look forward to! We are only 6 for Christmas anyway always. I’m going to lock us down for 2 weeks beforehand so we can’t infect each other. I’m already buying food for the freezer and cupboards.
We will do Christmas regardless of what restrictions there are- I can’t see the police patrolling the streets of my quiet village on Christmas Day!

What else do people have to think about? Everything has been cancelled!
They are sad about halloween, no fireworks, no parties or gatherings or fun of any kind. No wonder they are looking ahead to christmas.

For many the fear of being on their own for christmas will be creating huge stress. So on balance it is understandable in the circumstances.

I am more worried about January personally! It can be a bleak month at the best of times.

YABU.

Not everyone is anti social like a lot on MN are. A big family Christmas is important to me and my family. I'll probably be completely on my own this year as I'm divorced, single and it's my ex's turn to have DS.

I agree with you, Hyper.

I’ll probably be spending Christmas totally alone, when it’s normally a big family thing with my parents and siblings etc.
I am really sad about it.
I think a lot of people who are saying “it’ll be lovely to have a quiet Christmas!” are spending it with partners and children. So I don’t think they really get it.

For lots of people it might be the last opportunity to spend Christmas with a particular loved one. You're being a bit unfeeling imho.

This is my first Christmas off in 7 years (midwife). I have worked all the way through the pandemic so I am looking forward to a few days at home, with my husband and children, and not having to go anywhere or do anything. However, I know that my Mum and my MIL will both be gutted if we don’t spend some time with them.

My worry about Xmas is adult DC fighting with each other.
So I'd secretly like Uni DC to be stuck at Uni for the Xmas break.

Still find virus controls onerous, though.

I understand that some people do the big family Christmas and I do feel for those who usually do but can't this year.
But for us it won't be any different because it's always just us anyway. Dh's parents are no longer with us, and I'm completely non contact with my mum and her part of the family. So it's only my dad we talk to. He lives alone so is part of our bubble anyway. But it's always ds, dh and I so nothing will be different for us

We will be breaking the rule of 6 at Christmas and seeing my family. It's my MILS first one since losing her husband so there's no way we aren't seeing her. We all need the support mentally and that's more important than covid at this stage. We are sticking to the rules and taking the precautions every other day but not Christmas day

I am 70 plus, live alone, and being alone at Christmas does not bother me at all. I usually think about homeless people at Christmas, those with nowhere to go. Also think about all the children from split up families, who have to go between parents at different places all over, so everything as such, seems sadder when It's Christmas.

YABU. Just because it isn't important to you. As others have said, some people really look forward to Christmas, quite apart from the fact that my dds live for Halloween, bonfire night and Christmas and all three have likely gone to shit this year. There's been bugger all else for them to get excited about.

If we are banned from mixing with other households then DD and I will be spending our first Christmas after losing DP and my Dad, within less than two months of each other, totally on our own.

As things stand at the moment we can't even go away anywhere as we are in local lockdown.

DD has been so strong and resilient and I would have liked her to at least have been with family at Christmas or to have taken her somewhere nice.

And after Nicola Sturgeon's antics today, which I am sure Boris will follow, it looks as if things will only get worse.

@Friendsoftheearth - yes, I know January can be bleak but the really good thing is that after 21st December, light it coming back - very slowly to start with but by mid-Jan it's really accelerating. Really, not long till spring.

I (usually) love big family Christmases but am getting strangely excited by the idea of a relaxed Christmas Eve/Day/Boxing Day at home, in pajamas, minimal fuss. Just for once.

We will visit shielding family once kids have been at home for 2 weeks ie just before school resumes.

This situation uncovered how many people cannot say no even if they really want to. I keep hearing the same thing people put here "Oh, I actually look forward to be just us and no travel on the day!".
Do people know that it can be like that even without pandemic?

I worried about Christmas in August (planning time) and we are all staying put where we are (different countries). Shame, but we are not risking having to quarantine or trying to get money back from Ryanair. Not sure which one of these is worse tbh😂

It does seem as if the discussion has started a bit earlier this year. Perhaps because of a fear that some restrictions will be in place, if not on the day, then affecting shopping/internet deliveries/travelling or something else. Or perhaps because some things people would plan or look forward to in the autumn are not happening.

I'm going to be with fewer people this year at Christmas and the only thing that I am sad about is that church on Christmas morning in person (as opposed to watching online) may not be an option.

For many people, it is hard not being able to plan, and Saint Boris keeps making it that way, as he U-turns on a whim, or whenever the wind changes, so nobody can plan anything with any certainty.

If he survives in the job that long, a dirty strategy he might employ is to keep up the "rule of 6" stance until a week before (or maybe even a day before), so that in resignation, people don't plan get-togethers, and then make a massive festive announcement: "Look how generous I am, you can have Christmas after all!!!!!!!". And by then, it will be too late for anyone to plan anything.

Or, he might impose something impossibly draconian, such as announcing on 24th December that no guests are allowed at all (such a crude act would not be beyond him), knowing that everybody will ignore it, so that he can then blame the public.

Saint Boris doesn't even have any subtlety with his vile methods: no wonder people are worried.

The one thing that worries me is that my in-laws don't give a fig about the restrictions, so will want to get together for Christmas (4 households, 15 people). DH will be put in an awkward position as he'll be expected to attend but won't want to. So potential for a row.