People who alway want to 'host' things

[Frenchblue]

There are always threads about this on here, usually in regard to Xmas and often involving MILs. To me it comes across as a bit controlling and also quite 'look at me, I'm such a marvellous cook and home maker' etc. It reminds me of Monica in Friends when they swap flats and she gets arsey because people prefer to go to the boys' place. What is the big deal about 'hosting'?

Some people enjoy it, some people like the attention. I'm probably a bit of both - I like cooking for people and feeling like people can chill out and enjoy themselves in my house, and I suppose if they compliment my hosting it doesn't hurt. Problem is I have a poky flat that noone wants to come to, so I love to host but never can.

I like hosting because I like making food and giving people a good time. Not because I want to show off or control anything

Perhaps they just enjoy it. What's wrong with that?

I love them because I hate hosting.

I have bad OCD and have dietary requirements.

I feel far more comfortable hosting as A) I’m not inconveniencing whoever is cooking and B) I’m in my own home therefore my symptoms flare far less.

But the one hosting is doing all the work? Why would you resent thise wantign to host. Id love it if someone would host christmas for us!!

Its the opposite of controllong and "look at me" surely. Its giving...?

I like hosting because I like cooking and having people over

I like going to people’s houses when they’re generous with food and drink, have comfy places to sit and a relaxing environment

I don’t find it very enjoyable to go to someone’s house to sit on hard, wooden chairs with bright overhead lights, measly portions and tiny double beds in dusty bedrooms. I’d much rather host as my house is comfortable and clean and the beds are bigger.

I sound like a horrendous snob, I realise that

I hate hosting, but I hate even more having to travel to other people for Xmas and stuff. I am currently pretending with all the rest of the family that I am very sad that covid will keep us all apart at Xmas but secretly I am quite glad of it. Although my mum will be semi hysterical over it from about Halloween onwards and I dread to think the state of her on Xmas Day itself and how many brave soldier WhatsApp video calls we are going to have. I'm aware I sound like a right bitch but my mum and Xmas combine to drive me insane even in a normal year and the angst will be ramped up to 100 this year and it's never my brother who gets the brunt of it, always me and I am tired of that too.

There’s just something good about making people happy - I mean friends, not in-laws or people who can’t enjoy things for whatever reason.

I know someone who hosts because she genuinely thinks other people’s houses are too dirty and it gives her anxiety. The trouble is, being her guest is fraught with anxiety: it’s so clean and timetabled. She says she never gets invited anywhere (she’d be willing to slum it) and I get her sadness. I feel very sorry for her but there it is.

I host a lot. I’m just a lot more relaxed in my own house.

I love people who host

I prefer hosting because I’m a crap guest and can’t sit down and do nothing. I am better off as a guest if you give me a job to do - peeling veg, setting table, washing up etc

It depends on their other behaviours. I know someone who loves hosting things and having people over because they like to see people having fun and feel like they've done something nice. I know another person who likes to host so that they can control everything and everyone has to be grateful to them and everyone "owes" them. People can do the same thing with different motives and it will completely change the experience.

My SIL always wants to host because she hates going to anyone else's. She doesn't get that other people think that way as well, and would quite like to share it around!

I love people who host as I can't cope with all the responsibility of having the house guest ready and all the food perfect. My family would agree when I say I'm a nightmare in the run up to hosting!

We like it cos we don't then have to bother leaving the house and all the drama that goes with it (small children).

I hate attention so definitely not that.

Also we're not great at it through lack of practice so don't think we're setting shining examples

I prefer to host. I love to cook for other people and am also quite an introvert so prefer being able to escape to the kitchen or have jobs to do rather than having to chat constantly!

I’d rather host than have to eat things other people have prepared and cooked and they might not be very clean. Which means I have to smuggle food out in a napkin etc. Which is what I do in work when people “bake” things and bring them in.

I always host Christmas dinner. Not to show off but because I personally prefer to have Christmas at home. In laws aren’t the best cooks and wouldn’t invite us to there’s. I want everybody to have a good Christmas and not be stuck in the kitchen (I enjoy it). My mum was also a chef so it was the norm to want to feed people as food makes people happy

I like to host because I just like providing things for people? I don't know how to phrase that, it's just part of my personality. One of my love languages is acts of service. Also like a pp I have dietary requirements so if I host then I know that food/drink is safe for me to have.

Having hosted Christmas for 16 for the last few years, (my kids their partners and children plus DH and me) I wish someone else would offer to host. I am secretly quite excited at the idea of a quiet lockdown Christmas but don't tell on me.

I don't recall that many threads about the OP wanting to host, but I certainly remember loads and loads where the OP is moaning about either having hosting foisted on them when they don't want to, dreading having to go to the IL's, or complaining that both sets of grandparents are having a tug of war over them, and they want to go to neither and just want a quiet Christmas at home with the new baby.

I like my food more than anyone else’s. Christmas is non negotiable because I make the best roast potatoes in the known universe.

I love hosting, one of my favourite things to do with my friends is have an evening in with cooked food and drinks!
I have the space, I enjoy cooking and I made my house feel warm and welcoming for people. I don't see the problem with that? 🧐