People who alway want to 'host' things

[Frenchblue]

There are always threads about this on here, usually in regard to Xmas and often involving MILs. To me it comes across as a bit controlling and also quite 'look at me, I'm such a marvellous cook and home maker' etc. It reminds me of Monica in Friends when they swap flats and she gets arsey because people prefer to go to the boys' place. What is the big deal about 'hosting'?

[quote Scottsy100]@ShirleyPhallus blimey are all your friends from Dickens’s novels? 🤔[/quote]
Ha ha ha. Yes, all we get is dry bread and gruel.

I love hosting simply because enjoy feeding a houseful of people. I don't get stressed about cooking for 20 people or tying to squeeze them in. I enjoy it when most people I know hate it. Especially my poor mum. She was never a naturally relaxed hostess, but finds it more and more stressful as she's aged. She worries excessively about quantities of food and available seats and generally just get stressed to the max. So, I try to host family gatherings to take the pressure off her.

Now, you might not get the fanciest meal here, but that's not my priority. But there'll be plenty of food ... and people always look forward to my cakes and deserts.

On the contrary.. I host a lot but much much prefer to be hosted! I have a big family and love it when everyone is together, but we are the only ones with enough room to host everyone. Xmas, birthdays, easter etc. Absolutely nothing to do with being controlling or a show off. Its just a genuine desire to have the family all together for special occasions without the cost and hassle of booking tables (and sorting out the bill!) for 20 plus people plus lots of small children.

When we renovated we made sure the kitchen was big enough for our family to eat together - all members either side is over 20. We never do both sides. And it's just a couple of times a year. But we are the go to because we have the space and we are happy to do it. I get fucked off paying for it.

It's nothing about showing off though.

The same as a pp, we have the largest house and always end up with everyone at ours. Dh does the cooking (he does enjoy it and likes hosting) and I just make sure drinks are topped up and the table is laid and ready.
I do feel a bit put out that we hardly ever get invited anywhere though, we are nice people and no one goes hungry or thirsty. I’d love someone to host me, there’s a lot of effort that goes into preparing everything for guests!!

I love people who enjoy hosting! I think they just really enjoy the organization aspect and it makes them feel accomplished. There’s nothing wrong with that in my book. I am a quiet person who hates organizing things so it saves me a job!

I like to host every so often as long as others take their turn, I am also a happy and appreciative guest!

I think that some people show their love through doing things for others and this can be part of that.

People who host are often just kind generous people who enjoy cooking. I find it very strange to think they are showing off.

This thread falls very much into "your comment speaks more about you than the people you are referring to" category.

Just because you get little to no enjoyment from hosting (and making others happy) doesn't make those that do attention seeking. Some people genuinely just love having people over and having a good time, it doesn't make them an attention seeking Monica.

I've only recently got into the concept of dinner parties as they are generally a lot of hard work but I had one for my friends and their husbands pre 6 people rule as I hadn't seen them since January, the DH helped and it was a roaring succes and it genuinely changed my mind set.

If you don't like something fine, but don't try to belittle others to make yourself feel better. It really is a poor personality trait.

I love people who are into hosting. I will fit in with their rules, eat whatever food is offered and chat to strangers if required. And always praise the cooking, table decoration etc.
I don't like hosting.

I have several friends like this and I bloody love it. I turn up with a bottle of wine and have a lovely time.

I don't love hosting but I do end up doing Christmas for the grandmothers and BIL (our only family really) because we have smallish children and it's just easier being in their familiar house with their stuff to keep them busy. There are no other children.
Also, it means I get to eat what I want, which usually includes about 3 times as many vegetables as normal people eat! And I can put no meat on my plate without anyone noticing but then double up with the good bits like stuffing and cauliflower cheese!

I don’t have enough space to host a lot of people (although as this is the first year that ds has a girlfriend she is very welcome to join us for Christmas - Covid permitting) but do make good desserts.. so I’m generally the guest, but I bring the pudding! Works quite well 🤷‍♀️

I love hosting because 1) I don't have to try and get home when I'm spannered on red wine 2) I love to cook and 3) we've built our entire kitchen/dining room around entertaining and parties.

It's never about "look at me" but about enjoying peoples company. Some people don't enjoy entertaining, others do.

I am so scatter-brained that it is impossible for me to entertain guests and get a meal on the table...when I've tried I've ended up with burnt potatoes or have forgotten to take the veggies out of the microwave and I don't find them until the next day

So, as soon as guests arrive, I offer them a beverage and insist that they make themselves at home! All of the cupboards in my house are labeled so it is easy for them to locate whatever they desire. My husband usually does most of the cooking and sometimes the guests will join in.
My only problem now is getting the guests to go home! We've even tried setting a specific time for the visit , say from 4pm to 8pm..but they just won't leave!

It about the only thing I'm good at. But, ok, sneer away.

I enjoy doing nice things for people, I love cooking and I really like the creative aspects of hosting. I also really like that I dont have to drive anywhere and am already home at the end of the evening!

I love hosting! Just love to make a fuss of everyone. Especially family. Also love to have a house full of people. Both my husband and I have huge families and everyone has children. We're all very close and love to spent time together.
Last year DH father passed away suddenly just before Xmas. Everyone was in total shock and no-one was really bothering making plans for Xmas. We offered to host the lot!
Us + 3DC - MIL - BIL + his DP & 3DC - BIL + his wife & DD. And 2 dogs! It was packed and busy and lovely and DH and I went to absolute town to make it the best possible Xmas for all the kids. We all needed it and it all went off without a single hitch.

I definitely think there is an art to hosting. My best friend and her husband are amazing hosts, cook wonderful food and make everyone feel welcome. I love having people over but get incredibly stressed before and feel like I can never fully relax. Something I really need to work on!

I prefer to host on Christmas day because we don't want to go anywhere else and I like my own food better than anyone elses.
I'm not a great cook but I do a decent roast dinner and I always enjoy cooking on Christmas day.

People who like hosting only become a problem when they refuse to let anyone else do it. They need to acknowledge that other people might like to do it sometimes, too. Or at least, they might prefer not to always be the one doing the travelling.

Not to blow my own trumpet but I make a cracking roast and still can’t think of anything worse than hosting Christmas. I’ve got a huge close family and they can be more that 20 of us on Christmas Day night, obvs not this year tho! Fuck that I’ll bring deserts and alcohol!

Saying that I would take a turn should I need to but I’ve got fussy twin aunties that like to compete over it each year.

I like hosting and I'm good at it. I like looking after people and making sure everyone has a nice time, whilst also having a good time myself. However, I do host more than most given most of my friends either CBA or are terrible hosts e.g. would expect us to chip in for a take away rather than do nibbles, which pisses me off a lot. I'm also accommodating of other people's children, e.g. hire bouncy castle or make sure they are entertained if it's going to be a longer event so that adults can relax and kids are kept busy. It's helps I can afford it but I think just wanting everyone to have a nice time is the biggest motivator.

Why, OP, which category do you fall into? CBA or terrible host?