People who alway want to 'host' things

[Frenchblue]

There are always threads about this on here, usually in regard to Xmas and often involving MILs. To me it comes across as a bit controlling and also quite 'look at me, I'm such a marvellous cook and home maker' etc. It reminds me of Monica in Friends when they swap flats and she gets arsey because people prefer to go to the boys' place. What is the big deal about 'hosting'?

If this is about my thread it's because I want to have Christmas in my shiny new house and be able to drink copious amounts of alcohol without worrying about whose going to drive home for a change

I love hosting. To the point of considering going into the B&B business I just love cooking for people and pre-empting their wants! In fairness I've run hospitality and retail shops before so it's either trained into me or something innate. Probably a bit of control too . I've got Italian blood, so I always blame the need to make piles and piles of food and drink on that.

I love those people and I hate hosting!

@Lurchermom
Could i invite you for a looong stay here, please please please?

I love having people round but it’s definitely a ‘help yourself’ house. If you want a drink go and grab whatever you want. I will cook if people are coming round but I won’t fuss over you, just help yourself. We have a toddler so I hate going to other people’s houses where there are breakable things or elderly pets etc. Plus we’d always have to leave early and I hate packing a bag for toddler too. For example going to a friends house for dinner and we have to pack pjs, toothbrush, toothpaste, eczema cream and a dummy on top of the usual crap then leave early because DS is ready for bed. Urgh I’d rather people came to us!

I don't like to host because I can't just fuck off when I've had enough. Therefore I'm delighted when other people want to do it!

[quote giantangryrooster]@Lurchermom
Could i invite you for a looong stay here, please please please?

[/quote]

I loathe hosting, so I’m always mega thankful when friends and family offer to host! Also more than happy to pay my way and bring generous gifts of fancy wine and flowers!

some of you sound like much better guests than my usual suspects. Can I swap and host you guys next time?

(especially the one with cake and the ones with booze - you're all invited first!)

Many people host because they are good cooks, create a good atmosphere etc and their guests.

Some definitely do it for attention and controlling you in theirs zone, making it all about them... You have to praise the food profusely and the cook and thank them for being such an amazing host and cook

Oh yes I have a newish (3 years) friendship group and there’s one of those. She’s starting to piss me off.

Some people prefer to stay at home because they have more space/it’s nearer to others/more convenient.

I don’t think anyone should take priority and never go to anyone else’s house, but often it is easier to go to the person with the biggest house.

Easier but not necessarily better

I like hosting because I love cooking, I like seeing people but I'm not great for long periods in big groups so having an excuse to go and be busy helps with that. We also have a house that really lends itself well to parties. I also like it because I drink cocktails and although I can take them with me to someone elses house, pre-mixed with no ice isnt really the same.

I enjoy hosting because of the control factor. I'm in my own home, I feel comfortable surrounded by my things etc and I'm able to relax more. I find when I'm at something organised by someone else I'm worried about intruding or doing something wrong in their homes or that I've put a lot of stress on them to be the perfect host which is 100% my own issue. If I host then it takes the pressure off that. I'm not a big show off or a lover of attention though. I just like to know people are comfortable.

@ladycardamom

I love them because I hate hosting.

100% this

@PineappleUpsideDownCake

Its the opposite of controllong and "look at me" surely. Its giving...?

This is not true for me. I don't like hosting very much as it requires too much planning and lots of work on the day but at the same time, being in my own house is less of a different kind of work ( travelling, fitting around other people's schedules, other people's cooking not always being what you want to eat).

I do agree that most people who are good cooks and good hosts enjoy the feeling of providing a good environment in which to have a good time and enjoy the thanks and comoliments about that . I also think that they usually they prefer to be in control of the day.

I have two single friends who, in recent years, always invited themselves for Christmas even when they knew family and/ or other friends were coming. One is 75 and has never cooked a Christmas dinner. The other has come to us for 12 years in a row. I would have been only too happy for someone else to be chief cook and bottle washer...never so much as offered.. I know I could have said no but then they would have been sitting at home alone. Anyway, 2 years ago moved to another country and one of them still came for the first Christmas! This year DH and I will be celebrating in blissful isolation.

I don't think it's other people who want to host at times that's the problem. It's the other people who's want to host all the time. It's selfish.

Well I enjoy seeing my family but it’s actually less stressful to host them than to be hosted by them. My mum is a disorganised cook who lets things overcook and burn and then gets very upset about it which makes things stressful.

I like hosting because I always feel a bit socially awkward and don’t know what to do with myself at parties etc.

If I’m hosting I can see people but have lots of excuses to keep popping into the kitchen, have lots of stuff to do.

Generally the people I’m closest to help out in the kitchen etc so I get more time with them.

DH is much more sociable than I am, so by inviting his friends over he gets to be social but I don’t have to go to somebody else’s house.

I don’t think it’s about showing off at all I think it’s about being a generous person. I have hosted way way too many times as I get very little in return from so many friends. I think some people are all take at times and don’t reciprocate.

I love people who enjoy hosting, means I don't have to.

I was always put off 'hosting' as growing up my mum would always make such a big fuss about doing a roast etc for everyone, so always assumed it would be too much hard work and not enjoyable at all.

I've recently get more into cooking, and as a result I've been cooking Sunday roasts for my grandparents, and parents as I absolutely love everything about it!

I love preparing, and getting everything ready, the table set up with cosy candles etc. It's not about showing off, I'm not the world's best cook, but it's a nice feeling to be able to cook for somebody else and have them relax.

@ShirleyPhallus blimey are all your friends from Dickens’s novels? 🤔