To think I need to have a word with lodger?

[beautifullybonkers]

But of a long one but don’t want to drip feed information and think a bit of background might be useful.

Mid July we took in a new lodger. She seemed fine and moved here as had long term partner living locally. Few teething problems in her breaking a couple of things in the house and leaving her possessions all over (kitchen, lounge etc) but no big deal really although admittedly a bit irritating. Within a month she split up with partner and I supported her through break up. She is now 10 days into a new relationship and is spending most of the time outside the house with him. Within the first week of their meeting i received a late night text asking if he could stay over I had agreed previously to her long term partner staying one night a week but had asked her to be mindful that this was mine and my teenage son’s home and they needed to be respectful of thatcher . However I didn’t feel comfortable having a man I had never met and she had only known 4 days stay in my home so replied saying that and I had to consider my son and his well being. At this point I should point out that I have older children no longer living at home and would not have agreed to them having people they had known less than a week stay over either. She replied and said she understood but has said very few words to me since.

At 11 o’clock this evening she texted my teenage son who is in bed to ask if he could stay up to let her in as she has mislaid her keys. My son came to let me know as obviously I would hear him up when he should be asleep. He had texted back to say he would but I have told him no, he needs to go back to sleep, and I am now lying in my bed waiting for her to return so I can let her in. Incidentally she still hasn’t arrived back. AIBU to think she should not be texting my son when he is in bed to let her in, especially when he has to be up for school in the morning and has a paper round at 7am? Would it BU of me to speak with her about this and ask why she would text him and not me?

I think he's younger, as he's still 'reporting to' his mum about being up late, and has a paper round.

ah that makes sense, thanks. yes, that's a bit inappropriate then.

@katy1213

I think a week's notice. She's more trouble than she's worth - you had me at supporting her through her break-up; that's not your job as her landlady!

A week?!😵 You’re legally supposed to give a lodger 4 weeks notice. Lodgers have rights too, and I doubt the OP wants to see her homeless due to giving lack of notice.

Legally there's no minimum notice period. It's up to the landlord.

It seems like most people on this thread have no idea how being a lodger is different. It's not that difficult to find out. If you don't know then find out rather than give out incorrect information.

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/housing/renting-a-home/subletting-and-lodging/lodging/what-rights-do-lodgers-have/

If you have a periodic let then the notice you need to give is the length between one rent period to the next. If you pay weekly then you get 1 weeks notice.

The rules have changed for Assured Shorthold Tenancies/Assured Tenancies because of Covid 19. Non-excluded tenancy or licence is at least 4 weeks. For Excluded tenancies or licences - which is what most lodgers have - it is 1 rental period.

How did the chat go @beautifullybonkers?

@Ghosts2020

Sorry but as much as it's 'your house' and annoys you, she has the legal right to have any visitor she wants for upto 3 nights a week. You don't really seem suited to having a lodger as you are treating it as a 'my house my rules' situation. I think cut your losses and let her find a more suitable landlord.

Just out of interest, why do you think her lodger 'has a legal right to visitors up to 3 nights a week'? It's entirely dependent on the landlady as to whether she is allowed any visitors, or if they have a written agreement that includes rules around this kind of thing (sorry if this is the case and I've missed this information in the thread!).

There is no statutory right to visitors for lodgers - they are staying on a licence, not a tenancy, and there is a huge legal difference between the two things. I have taken in lodgers for over 10 years, and also trained in landlord and residential law so pretty confident of this!

I love a lodger thread! All these experts coming on and slagging off someone for daring to rent a room in her house and not being 100% welcoming to any randomer the lodger wants to bring home/not allowing the lodger to throw dinner parties (drunken or otherwise)/redesign the garden/play their music at a volume of their choosing and basically treat the house as their own because they're paying rent, which entitles them to everything, while the house owners should just tolerate whatever the lodger might do. I especially like all the nonsense advice about lodgers' entitlements, such as imaginary lengthy notice periods, access to any part of the house they feel like using, having sleepovers with strangers 3 times a week (classic!) even though they're basically renting one room at a price considerably lower than a flat would cost them.
If you want freedom to do whatever you want at home, my advice is simple: get your own place or find a homeshare where you pay a proportion of ALL bills, council tax, repairs, cleaning costs etc, ie. all the things lodgers don't pay.

@BaileysforBreakfast

I love a lodger thread! All these experts coming on and slagging off someone for daring to rent a room in her house and not being 100% welcoming to any randomer the lodger wants to bring home/not allowing the lodger to throw dinner parties (drunken or otherwise)/redesign the garden/play their music at a volume of their choosing and basically treat the house as their own because they're paying rent, which entitles them to everything, while the house owners should just tolerate whatever the lodger might do. I especially like all the nonsense advice about lodgers' entitlements, such as imaginary lengthy notice periods, access to any part of the house they feel like using, having sleepovers with strangers 3 times a week (classic!) even though they're basically renting one room at a price considerably lower than a flat would cost them. If you want freedom to do whatever you want at home, my advice is simple: get your own place or find a homeshare where you pay a proportion of ALL bills, council tax, repairs, cleaning costs etc, ie. all the things lodgers don't pay.

100% spot on

Yikes she sounds like a bit of a liability, to be honest. Once she’s out I’d change the front door lock if I were you

Let her go

Lodgers can be great to have around and obviously help out with the bills, but the situation you describe feels like your lodger is beginning to take the P. Perhaps you could have a formal talk with her, issue a few house rules if you haven’t already and tell her you’ll terminate her agreement if she doesn’t tow the line. She really shouldn’t involve your son in her ‘stuff’ as from what you have said he is still a minor and you are her landlady.

Move her out!

Supporting her was a kind thing to do.

She should never have had your sons number though. As you say, this was a professional agreement if you like, not a friend sofa surfing for a week.

Has she gone then?

YANBU.

Her personal circumstances are ever changing so I thinks it's time for a polite chat to reinforce boundaries and to make it clear that it may be time to move on to a more suitable living arrangement.

In future do not give out your sons number or blur the boundary between landlord and tenant.

Lol at this thread. And the sons phone

Good luck with the conversation op it sounds very difficult

Blatantly placemaking as I want to know how the conversation went

God there's some thickos on here. How these people get through life is beyond me. Legal rights in someone elses home , legally allowed random visitors. You lot that think that must have people walking all over you irl.

OP YANBU.

Please come back and tell us you have given her notice. Most of all we are all dying to know why she has your son’s phone number?!

@Tinty

Am I the only one who thinks it’s odd that your lodger doesn’t have a Key 🔑. It sounds more like an old fashioned boarding house where you had a curfew and had to be in by 10 in the evening.

She does have keys. The OP said she had told son she’d mislaid them!

OP please tell us the outcome

Erm... texting your son... nope no way... why does she even have his number? She’s a lodger not family... I’d have her out tbh! Worse then having your own teenager!