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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this mum is cheeky?

216 replies

YellowBeryl1 · 03/10/2020 19:34

About a year ago I went on a quiz night with a couple of friends, we bumped into a woman and her dh who live down the road from me, I didn't know them well but we exchanged phone numbers. A couple of times in the weeks that followed I suggested meeting up with her as we live down the road but each time she was busy. No problem, I left it.

Today she whatsapped me out of the blue, to say she noticed I collect my dd (year 2) from school on a Monday (the other days I pay for after school club, I work FT).

She asked if I can also collect her dd every Monday from next week and she will collect her from mine at 4pm (school finishes at 3pm).

Albu to think she's really cheeky? I don't even know the mum except for the one conversation a year ago. Her dd is year 6, mine year 2, they don't know each other, I dont even know her dds name!

I havent replied yet.

OP posts:
CakeRequired · 04/10/2020 11:33

I'm not sure why she or the other people mentioned in this thread even have children. Leaving kids standing outside some persons home in the early morning and not giving them breakfast? That's neglect. I would have been phoning the police about that.

If you're happy to pass your kids off onto someone else that you barely know because you're too cheap to pay for childcare or too lazy to take them to childcare, you shouldn't have had kids.

billy1966 · 04/10/2020 11:39

I would call this woman a stranger.
Don't reply and block her number.

Life is too short to keep her number, now that you have her number😏🤣

LindaEllen · 04/10/2020 11:47

To be honest, after being fed up of the amount of BS people throw at you in life, I'm now in the mindset where I would simply reply 'Sorry, but I asked you many times if you wanted to go for coffee as I thought we could be friends, you brushed me off every time saying you were busy but never coming up with an alternative. It feels like you want to know me now because it benefits you, that's rude, and I won't be giving up my one to one time walking home with my daughter.'

Also, how far away is the school? I know a lot of Y6s who walk home on their own and would be mortified if they got picked up by someone random they didn't know anyway.

HaggisBurger · 04/10/2020 11:58

Definitely don’t reply to that last message. I do wonder about some people.

It’s fine to ask for help with people who are friends / there’s an element of reciprocity. This is entirely different and she has a total brass neck.

Tomatoesneedtoripen · 04/10/2020 12:00

agree with charging her.
you are not friends.

JaffaCake70 · 04/10/2020 12:15

I'd ignore the message, she's a cheeky cow. If she wanted to ask you this favour she lives close enough to knock on your door and ask you face to face. Ignore the message and if she does ask you in person, just say no, that's your quality time with your child and you don't let anything interfere with it.

mam0918 · 04/10/2020 12:49

it blows my mind that after 6 pages and a 99% poll saying how this other mother is a CF there are one or two shameless women proudly announcing that they do this exact same thing

curiously wonder if their social perception of what is acceptible is completely blind or if they just werent raised right?

on top of it being rude to put OP in that position though its some seriously bad parenting to ditch your child on a stranger, a friend (even then you should offer to pay or repay the favor) or family member maybe but this is a stranger - after school clubs are cheap and have vetted instructors running them in a safe enviroment, who just asks any randomer to have their child just because they also have a child?

EmbarrassedUser · 04/10/2020 13:00

OMG! I can’t believe she isn’t embarrassed to do this?? I love the idea of texting back something like ‘who is this?’ Or just ‘no’

Italiangreyhound · 04/10/2020 13:09

Calling out cheeky behaviour anonymously on a forum is not bullying.

BorderlineHappy · 04/10/2020 13:11

I don’t think she is a cheeky fucker at all. She needs help and asked another mum. What on earth is wrong with that? OP doesn’t want to which is fine so you say no, job done.

@doodleygirl the giveaway shes a CF is asking a a complete stranger for childcare.Shes obviously has run out of people to ask.

Ilovetea33 · 04/10/2020 13:11

Your plans won't change, so there's no need to reply.

WiddlinDiddlin · 04/10/2020 13:14

Hahahaha...

Text back:
'Even if our plans change, I won't be collecting, minding or dropping SmallOffspringofCF because I don't want to.

I don't want to now, I won't want to later, I am never going to want to do this.

Good day.'

DrManhattan · 04/10/2020 13:19

Speaking a mum in the school playground a few years ago. I said I would take her child to school if she ever got stuck ( following a conversation about her complicated life). The very next day she asked me, I agreed, gave the benefit of the doubt. Anyways then the day after that she asked me again. I said no. Its just taking the piss of someone who has offered in an emergency. Lessons learned all round i think

WettnWild · 04/10/2020 13:56

I’ve had this too!
Got a text from my older DC’s school one morning to say it was closed that day.
Had couple of frantic messages from good friends asking me if I would watch their DC for the day (they were all only 7ish at the time)
Told them to meet me at my younger DC’s school which was still open as they also had younger children to drop off and then they had to go to work. (I was SAHM then as had young baby)

Random Mum walks up to me and announced that her DC would like to come to my house for the day as school was closed (baring in mind she was also a SAHM as she had a baby younger than mine!)
I was too shocked to outright say no so said ‘but I’m off to the park and they’ve all got wellingtons on as it’s muddy’
I’d already told my friends to put their kids in muddy weather clothes.
She said ‘oh no problem, give me your number and I’ll text you to get your address and I’ll drop her round in an hour’

I made up a phone number and never spoke to her again. Cheeky fucker.

Kisskiss · 04/10/2020 15:40

@doodleygirl

I don’t think she is a cheeky fucker at all. She needs help and asked another mum. What on earth is wrong with that? OP doesn’t want to which is fine so you say no, job done.

Some of responses on here are just plain nasty. Bullies in a playground!

The ‘wrong’ here is that she couldn’t be bothered with the OP, until it turns out she needed something from her... so yeah that makes her a cheeky f*cker..
Wafflesontop · 04/10/2020 15:46

1 At the afterschool club in my area you have to sign up for at least 3 days. I have lost at least 1/3 of my hrs until business picks up. I just cant afford it but I do need to keep working & pray that things pick up.

  1. Im not restricting them in any way, they are coming to pick up and live 1 street away
  2. They dont feel sorry for me they are genuinely lovely people, I was asking them as a new comer if they knew any parents that offered after school and they offered me help.
  3. If they ever needed the favour returned on my day off I would gladly return the favour. There are lots of people out there who could use a little help but dont ask and judging by the comments it's easy to see why.
Wafflesontop · 04/10/2020 15:49

@ReallyLazy No I dont think stating not everyone has a husband or family entitles me to anything I was just stating a fact.

Wafflesontop · 04/10/2020 15:55

@mam0918 I'm not shamelessly proud I'm fucking desperate to keep my job and keep my head above water so I reached out and asked for help.

BloggersBlog · 04/10/2020 15:56

5, hopefully Ive invited their dcs round first rather than being the one to first ask for a favour

IrmaFayLear · 04/10/2020 16:00

We all need some help sometimes, especially those of us without a partner or family back up.

BUT you DO NOT ask the person whom you previously told you didn’t want to meet for a coffee. That is such a cheek.

Mary46 · 04/10/2020 16:05

Ah so cheeky.. my line I use now is sorry I just collect my own with Covid etc. Im texted by a mam too I realised its just can u collect x. Got tired it. Cheeky mayors out there. Nobody worries about mine or who collects her

Duanphen · 04/10/2020 16:10

She's a bellend. Childminders and school pick-ups cost hundreds a month. She can pay for the service like everyone else. Asking a stranger to do it is exceptionally rude.

ReallyLazy · 04/10/2020 16:15

[quote Wafflesontop]@mam0918 I'm not shamelessly proud I'm fucking desperate to keep my job and keep my head above water so I reached out and asked for help.[/quote]
Ok, but that doesn't appear to be the case here. If it is and she is desperate then she needs to work on her social skills.

We all need help sometimes but you can't ask someone you have previously not bothered with after they reached out a hand of friendship.

Doolaleetap · 04/10/2020 16:21

More front than Blackpool! Don't be afraid of being as direct with her as she is with you.

Wafflesontop · 04/10/2020 16:34

The truth is you just never know. Maybe the woman would love meet for coffee but can't, maybe she is struggling with something & having her kid picked up once a week would really help her, maybe she's just cheeky who know's. But anyway I'm bowing out. Thanks mumsnet when I am congratulating myself for making it thorough another week I will be sure to remember I'm a cheeky bitch and the kind people at school feel sorry for me & who knows maybe even on here bitching about me. 👍

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