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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this mum is cheeky?

216 replies

YellowBeryl1 · 03/10/2020 19:34

About a year ago I went on a quiz night with a couple of friends, we bumped into a woman and her dh who live down the road from me, I didn't know them well but we exchanged phone numbers. A couple of times in the weeks that followed I suggested meeting up with her as we live down the road but each time she was busy. No problem, I left it.

Today she whatsapped me out of the blue, to say she noticed I collect my dd (year 2) from school on a Monday (the other days I pay for after school club, I work FT).

She asked if I can also collect her dd every Monday from next week and she will collect her from mine at 4pm (school finishes at 3pm).

Albu to think she's really cheeky? I don't even know the mum except for the one conversation a year ago. Her dd is year 6, mine year 2, they don't know each other, I dont even know her dds name!

I havent replied yet.

OP posts:
Original poster
YellowBeryl1 · 03/10/2020 20:26

@ReallyLazy part of me wants to reply but I also want to back away quietly and be thankful she isn't a friend Grin

OP posts:
BlueJava · 03/10/2020 20:28

Exactly as @BloggersBlog blog said: "I cant sorry, but how much are you paying as I have a friend who may be interested"

TinkysWinky · 03/10/2020 20:31

My friends with kids in same classes and I do this for each other on an ad hoc basis (3 of us happen to have older kids in same class and younger kids in same class)... difference being we are good friends, and the kids all know each other well. No way would I consider this for someone I barely know. And I'm amazed she would let her child go to someone after school she barely knows - surely paying for an hours afterschool club is worth the peace of mind?! Wonder is she asking a different person each day depending on who has been noticed at pickup...

ReallyLazy · 03/10/2020 20:31

[quote YellowBeryl1]@ReallyLazy part of me wants to reply but I also want to back away quietly and be thankful she isn't a friend Grin[/quote]
Go on... do it for us 😁

combatbarbie · 03/10/2020 20:32

Y6 is more than capable of walking home and letting themselves in for 45 mins 🙄

Bocadilla · 03/10/2020 20:33

I said no to the CF mum - I was working flat out with a few kids of my own to get out the door each morning. This particular child added in to the mix would have made everything more stressful than usual. I just said it wouldn’t work for us as my mother in law sometimes helped with lifts and there wouldn’t be enough car space ( sometimes true!)

Original poster
YellowBeryl1 · 03/10/2020 20:33

@TinkysWinky same, I'm always happy to help a friend and have had reciprocal arrangements occasionally.

@ReallyLazy I'm scared she will keep contacting me, I want to be left alone Grin

OP posts:
Scaraffito · 03/10/2020 20:34

On the surface it's cheeky, but it's hard to know whether she has agonised over asking as she's in dire straights, or whether she just thought meh worth an ask.

Either way I would say no, and if she doesn't accept that and gets into CF territory just stand firm or don't engage.

MsKeats · 03/10/2020 20:38

@YellowBeryl1

She knows i know who she is as I replied to her first message. I'll let her know after school club is great, dd goes 4 times a week Grin
Don't do this in case she asks you to pick her DC up from after school club.

Also you don't want a child not in your bubble in your home right now.
I'm sorry that doesn't work for me. = Your reply.

WatchoutfortheROUS · 03/10/2020 20:45

Don't give it another thought OP and ignore any further messages. Sounds like you had a lucky escape when she couldn't meet up months ago.

It's totally fine not to want to share the one day a week you get to pick up your DD.

ReallyLazy · 03/10/2020 20:49

[quote YellowBeryl1]@TinkysWinky same, I'm always happy to help a friend and have had reciprocal arrangements occasionally.

@ReallyLazy I'm scared she will keep contacting me, I want to be left alone Grin[/quote]
Oh dear. I will have to find another source of entertainment for the night then Grin

PastelPompoms · 03/10/2020 20:52

@BloggersBlog

"I cant sorry, but how much are you paying as I have a friend who may be interested"

Then wait for the "Ah no it's ok, thanks" reply from her

Love this reply!!Grin
Figgygal · 03/10/2020 20:54

What a cheeky bint Shock

FurrySlipperBoots · 03/10/2020 21:02

Hahaha, that's insane! It's like something from that Netflix show 'Motherland' (a must watch btw!)

EarlGreyJenny · 03/10/2020 21:04

God loves a trier but WOW, what a cheeky cow. Ignore, there's no reasoning with someone that entitled.

Mary46 · 03/10/2020 21:07

Hi op yeh had that with a school mum. It was about lifts to an activity. Attitude was sure I was going anyway. Yeh but its nice to return the favour. People cheeky. Just say no you not free you have apts after the collection!!!

QualityFeet · 03/10/2020 21:08

God reply just end it. I would tell her that your plans won’t change and it wouldn’t be ‘easier’ for you. You will never need this arse in your life

ivykaty44 · 03/10/2020 21:12

*thanks, was hoping not to have to pay for club as only an hour and easier to collect from you, let me know if your plans change x'8

Id be replying

So you thought you could use me for free, thats incredibly rude. No I will not be your free childcare

AcrossthePond55 · 03/10/2020 21:16

It's just totally amazing to me that someone would want to leave their child with someone they know virtually nothing about. For all she knows, OP knocks back a 5th of vodka when she gets home from picking up her DD.

I wouldn't reply to her 'let me know'. Let her 'drift away'.

1Morewineplease · 03/10/2020 21:17

I had a similar situation to your's and I foolishly fell for it.
The mum basically wanted free after school care until she could pick the child up.
I didn't mind for a while as my son and her son seemed to get along but after a few weeks , her son would start to complain that he didn't like playing with my son as it was boring and he wanted to play with something else. He also complained that he was hungry but I was only looking after him for 45 minutes. I'd offer snacks but they weren't to his liking.

This went on for nearly a year ( yes I was stupid) and this boy invited my son to his paint-balling birthday party. My son had never done this before and was very excited.
The day before this party , the boy uninvited my son as there weren't enough places. My son was distraught. I approached his mum who merely said, " yeah, sorry about that , we can only invite 10."

Just to add ... I never asked to be paid for after school care , nor did mum even offer.
What I did was merely a favour for her.

Having written this down, over 15 years later, is making me sad and angry.

oakleaffy · 03/10/2020 21:17

[quote YellowBeryl1]@TinkysWinky same, I'm always happy to help a friend and have had reciprocal arrangements occasionally.

@ReallyLazy I'm scared she will keep contacting me, I want to be left alone Grin[/quote]
It would be great if you could be honest and just say :
''What a leftfield thing to ask , especially as we don't really know each other's children, I'm afraid it isn't convenient, I really don't want to be lumbered with your hungry DD after school as well as my own, you know how tetchy they get''

mcmooberry · 03/10/2020 21:17

I get that she wouldn't want to pay for ASC for an hour (ours is £13.50 odds) but surely she would have a friend in her daughter's own year who she would ask before you!! Or maybe she did!! If she had offered to pay something for an hour then that would have been less cheeky. We take a friend's child to school 3 mornings a week and they take ours one day and all is fine as we made the offer.

justanotherneighinparadise · 03/10/2020 21:17

Man these CFers have thick skin!!! To admit she’s only asking you to save having to pay for childcare. She doesn’t even know you!! For all she knows you could have nefarious friends or are prone to a drunk in the afternoon.

Onadifferentuniverse · 03/10/2020 21:21

Id reply to her message

‘Just to be clear, even if I was available id not be comfortable looking after a child when I know neither the child or the parent closely, I hope you find someone who can help you, but this will never be me’.

Don’t be shy to reply in this tone to people who are trying to take advantage of you and those who are doing that whilst putting their child at risk.

BiscoffAnythingIsTheWayForward · 03/10/2020 21:21

That is one C’f-er right there! And to have the nerve to say it’s because she doesn’t want to pay too! Definitely do not reply to that! Why are some people so entitled?! 🤦🏻‍♀️