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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this mum is cheeky?

216 replies

YellowBeryl1 · 03/10/2020 19:34

About a year ago I went on a quiz night with a couple of friends, we bumped into a woman and her dh who live down the road from me, I didn't know them well but we exchanged phone numbers. A couple of times in the weeks that followed I suggested meeting up with her as we live down the road but each time she was busy. No problem, I left it.

Today she whatsapped me out of the blue, to say she noticed I collect my dd (year 2) from school on a Monday (the other days I pay for after school club, I work FT).

She asked if I can also collect her dd every Monday from next week and she will collect her from mine at 4pm (school finishes at 3pm).

Albu to think she's really cheeky? I don't even know the mum except for the one conversation a year ago. Her dd is year 6, mine year 2, they don't know each other, I dont even know her dds name!

I havent replied yet.

OP posts:
Bowerbird5 · 03/10/2020 21:21

If she asks again say” I’m sorry I work full time and Monday is my special time with DD.”

TheGirlWithAPrince · 03/10/2020 21:29

no sorry... too busy :D hahaha

oakleaffy · 03/10/2020 21:29

@1Morewineplease

I had a similar situation to your's and I foolishly fell for it. The mum basically wanted free after school care until she could pick the child up. I didn't mind for a while as my son and her son seemed to get along but after a few weeks , her son would start to complain that he didn't like playing with my son as it was boring and he wanted to play with something else. He also complained that he was hungry but I was only looking after him for 45 minutes. I'd offer snacks but they weren't to his liking.

This went on for nearly a year ( yes I was stupid) and this boy invited my son to his paint-balling birthday party. My son had never done this before and was very excited.
The day before this party , the boy uninvited my son as there weren't enough places. My son was distraught. I approached his mum who merely said, " yeah, sorry about that , we can only invite 10."

Just to add ... I never asked to be paid for after school care , nor did mum even offer.
What I did was merely a favour for her.

Having written this down, over 15 years later, is making me sad and angry.

My goodness...

I'm angry for you...What a brat and what a user of a mother.

My NDN's looked after a boy every Friday {you could hear him through the party wall, rampaging about} He whipped the NDN's DC's up terribly.

I hope they were being paid...

He was known to us as ''That horrid boy''

Thankfully after covid -the brat- the little darling doesn't go there any more.

FOJN · 03/10/2020 21:29

CF's never cease to amaze me, bold as brass.

Block her number if you are worried about her contacting you again.

Susannahmoody · 03/10/2020 21:30

Omfg no

These cheeky fuckers

Wibblypiggly · 03/10/2020 21:31

@user19990 ha sorry, I’d had a wine.

Brefugee · 03/10/2020 21:33

just tell her it's 50 quid a day, extra for snacks/drinks

tornadoalley · 03/10/2020 21:33

I once did something similar. Didn't know the parents well, but her DD and mine were in the same class. Her DS friends with my DS.

I suggested I take her DD to school 3 days in the week and she did the other 2. It worked ok for a year, but her DD was a horrible child. would get out of my car and slam the door every time and leave my DD to walk in alone. Never smiled or said thank you. Wish I hadn't bothered. Her mum was fine though

MorganKitten · 03/10/2020 21:35

@YellowBeryl1

She has replied...'thanks, was hoping not to have to pay for club as only an hour and easier to collect from you, let me know if your plans change x'

I think I won't respond....jeez.

I was doing a paid babysitting job - pick up from the school, feed The kids and there until mum gets back. Then another mum asked if I could pick hers up and drop them off as they were in the same road. I told her my hour rate, her response was ‘you’re already being paid to do the same walk...’ I mentioned it to the original mum and she was like ‘yeah she asked me I told her your rate and she said the same thing. I’d rather not pay for her kids’ the second mum was known for trying to jump in on any childcare people had.
70isaLimitNotaTarget · 03/10/2020 21:37

I suggested meeting up with her as we live down the road but each time she was busy

There's your answer "No , I'm busy" Right back at cha there !

Lollypop4 · 03/10/2020 21:41

Simply reply " No"

Standrewsschool · 03/10/2020 21:41

She can ask for the childminding, and you can refuse - fair enough.

However, to then admit it was to save money, and for her convenience - mega cheeky!

HaggieMaggie · 03/10/2020 21:49

You have given your answer, no further contact required. Block just in case,she’ll think you’ve changed your number.

TheOrigRights · 03/10/2020 21:52

It's odd that her DD has no friends in her class she could go home with for an hour once a week. That makes me suspicious. My sons would have hated to go home with a yr2 mum when they were in yr6.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 03/10/2020 21:52

So she agreed to change her hours (or took on extra ones) at work before she considered how that would work with collecting her child from school?!

The walk home from school and then the evening with your kids is precious family time. You don't want to spend it with a stranger's child. Mind, she obviously doesn't realise this, otherwise she wouldn't want her DD to have to walk home and then spend another 45 minutes with a stranger, rather than her parent/grandparent/friend whom she actually knows.

Also, if you were mad enough to say yes, pound to a penny she's the sort to then take that as a given entitlement and think it would be even more convenient for her - for work, relaxing or getting chores done - if you 'just' had her for an extra hour or so, and then it's tea time, so you may as well feed her as well and then drop her back an hour or so before bedtime.

It's bad enough that these people don't value a stranger's own family time one tiny bit, but it's very sad that they seem to just see their own children as an inconvenience to be palmed off on any old person who will have them.

Iola4 · 03/10/2020 21:56

Cheekfuckery of the finest degree.
I'm gobsmacked for you!

GinWithASplashOfTonic · 03/10/2020 21:58

Just be careful that she doesn't come up with the alternative of, could she just walk home with you/ you drop her off at her house. in the hope you'd feel guilty of leaving a young girl home alone so you bring her back to yours.

I've known that one to happen before now

Original poster
YellowBeryl1 · 03/10/2020 22:02

@1Morewineplease that is awful, I'm so sorry for your son as well, so out of order.

OP posts:
Dreading2020sSeasonFinale · 03/10/2020 22:03

There's a CFer mum at my kids old school. She won't pay for childcare but asks all the time on FB for people to watch her kids or take them somewhere (clubs etc) and when no one replies she does an angry post about "you know who your friends are" and how people have it so easy sitting on their arses while she goes out and works (PT!)

She asked an unsuspecting new school mum who lived on the next street if she would take her son up to school in the mornings so she wouldn't have to walk there early for breakfast club then walk the opposite way to catch her bus to work. The mum said she didn't mind on occasion. It was every day.

One day the new school mum's kid was sick so she called CFer early and said, "Bob's ill so I'm not heading to school today"

CFer said, "Well you can still take Freddie, right?"

New schoolmum told her it wasn't possible, she needed to stay home with her sick child and CFer went mad for "letting her down" and told her she could easily put sick kid in the car for 5 minutes (school is an 8 minute walk)

New schoolmum never took Freddie again and Freddie started breakfast club. Which is £1 a day and always has been. It just meant CFer had to go early and walk extra.

areallthenamesusedup · 03/10/2020 22:11

Am speechless.

I would just say no but do not go into a detailed explanation. Just that it won't be possible.

Sunnyrainshowers · 03/10/2020 22:11

@Dreading2020sSeasonFinale that is shocking. Who are these people?

Island35 · 03/10/2020 22:26

Does her asking to mix children of 2 different year groups break a bubble rule? Mixing of households rule. I'm sure there is something somewhere? Or you could say you're reducing your contact with others as much as possible. I'd actually just ignore it claiming it couldn't possibly be for me as we've never socialised and maintain ignorant bliss Smile

BentBastard · 03/10/2020 23:34

As she's replied about saving money, it would be fun to reply that as your hourly rate is higher than the after school club she wouldn't really make a saving.

DustyLoafer · 03/10/2020 23:56

@BentBastard

As she's replied about saving money, it would be fun to reply that as your hourly rate is higher than the after school club she wouldn't really make a saving.
That's a great reply.
CharlotteUnaNatalieThompson · 04/10/2020 00:48

She replied saying it would be easier? I'd reply "it might be easier for you, but not for me. It's a definite no and that won't change"

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