To want him to give up football so I can work?

[Pollyandted]

Me and OH have two young children. I have been a SAHM for the past few years and he works full time.

After a period of poor mental health (which is probably exacerbated by being stuck indoors with young children and no break) I have decided I want to go back to work part time. This is for my mental health mainly but the extra money will be nice.

I applied for and was offered a job working weekends which is wonderful if it weren't for the fact OH plays football on Sundays which would mean he can't have the children.

He urged me to take the job assuming I would be roping my DM in to mind the kids which isn't feasible as she's unreliable and can't be depended on (long backstory I won't go in to)

I hold my hands up to the fact I didn't consider his hobby when applying for the job because in my mind, me working is more important. I may sound selfish in that respect.

AIBU to ask him to sacrifice his hobby so I can go to work?

That’s great op, im glad he has seen sense. I hope you feel a bit more you with a few hours of work each week!

I'm glad you've got it sorted.

I'm still confused though about how you say you couldn't afford to work on a week day.

If your eldest is in nursery for 2 week days already, because of the 15hr funding, then the additional cost for childcare would be for your youngest child only. Your eldest having SEN wouldn't be an issue as nothing would change for your eldest.

I don't know how much childminders (for the youngest) are in London, but where I live (more expensive than average, down south) they around £3.50 an hour. You'd also be able to get the child free tax discount, which would pay some of that. The living wage is £9.30/£10.75 for London, so there's no way you'd be earning less than your childcare, at the very most it would cost about 40%, but probably a bit less.

What this means is that if you wanted to pick up any day shifts whilst your eldest is already at nursery, it would be both affordable, and slightly beneficial financially for you to do so. You'd have to check you wouldn't lose your 15hr entitlement though through increased income!

I’m glad you got it sorted op.

Just thought I’d add if you ever need a minder have you thought about advertising at a local special school? I work in a special school where many of the classroom assistants work with children who have additional needs outside of work. We often have posters up from non parents of the school looking for help with their children. It means they get people with experience who also have all the relevant checks and training. I know you don’t need it now but it may be useful for the future.

I hope the Christmas review, which OP will be funding from her new job, comes with a sincere apology from his side about how he's been dumping the house and childcare all on you all these years. And how perhaps it's time for him to grow up and take on a job that enables you both to have some free time.