Cleaner lying about her age

[sausage133]

I'm going to acknowledge from the outset:
A) that the age of my cleaner and her children are none of my business - but the information was volunteered; and
B) that I've NC in case she and/or the friends I've mentioned this to are on mumsnet

After much discussion DH and I decided to get a cleaner recently. We wanted someone with DBS check and insurance, and picked someone with a recommendation on a local Facebook page who appeared to fit the bill.

It's not a conventional house so she came to have a look before providing a quote. My toddler pounced on her (not literally) at the door and I apologised - she said not to worry, she had two of her own, one of whom was a teenager. I must have looked surprised as she laughed and said she looked younger than she was but was 32.

All fine with quote etc and we made arrangements for her to come and do the deep clean. She seemed surprised I wanted to actually see the DBS and insurance docs but said she would send them through.

She sent through a DBS dated that day saying she hadn't realised it needed updating - I was going to accept that but then noticed the dob (part obscured) would make her 29. I didn't say anything at the time but asked for the insurance docs to be sent across along with a photograph of some photo ID. She sent those and the dob tallied with the DBS.

I was a bit concerned but wondered if she might have done it as, even with a 13 yr old, she must have had DC1 at 15/16 yo and perhaps had added a few years to hide that for some reason.

My mum met her on the day she came as we weren't in. They had a very brief discussion in which she told my mum that her oldest DC was due to start second school (this year or next, not sure - but either way not a teenager) and said she was 31. So not what she told me re either age, and not the truth at least re hers.

I wouldn't care how old she was but I'm a bit twitchy about the lies. She otherwise seems lovely and the house looks and smells great but would it be enough to stop you using her again? If not, would you ever mention it?

@BubblyBarbara

Someone who will lie about a basic thing like that will have no problems lying about bigger things like "where did the £5 I left on the bedside table go" etc

That is just ridiculous without any understanding of why she lied about her age.

@cdtaylornats
Way to let yourself down there - always nice to slag off a whole group of strangers on the Internet

@BubblyBarbara

I assume you are not going to give the cleaner a blow job so it's not really relevant is it if you're going to keep a liar in your house I would get her to swear an oath not to steal from you or lie again to be sure.

What happens is she breaks the oath? Does her Brownie Badge go rusty?

@BrazenlyDefying

Nah, then the OP would be talking about a PVG and not a DBS. grin
Always makes me laugh when people say what a lovely name Paisley is.

Because everyone from Paisley is a criminal? Charming.

*Surely comments BubblyBarbara has made on an unrelated thread shouldn't be brought to this one?

I get that it's not malicious but is that not one of the things we don't do?*

I agree, and the comments do sound malicious. Not cool

@Springfern

*Surely comments BubblyBarbara has made on an unrelated thread shouldn't be brought to this one?

I get that it's not malicious but is that not one of the things we don't do?*

I agree, and the comments do sound malicious. Not cool

Some of the things Bubbly Barbara has said in that thread, and this one (and other threads) have been not particularly kind / reasonable in my personal opinion. I won't put words into anyone else's mouths, but I made a joke and apologised to the OP if she felt I derailed her thread.

If @BubblyBarbara would like us to avoid mentioning the funny thread that occurred last night, then I won't talk about it. But ultimately even the concept of getting your cleaner to swear an oath is mildly funny. I can accept that that may be a personal flaw on my part though.

I wouldn't personally be bothered about the lie. If she did have her children young she may want to avoid judgement. I'd probably do the same. It doesn't affect the job and her DBS and insurance are okay, so let it be. I'd only be concerned if she didn't have the right ID.

Talk about whatever you like I stand by my comments both here and in that thread ninety nine percent

@BubblyBarbara

Talk about whatever you like I stand by my comments both here and in that thread ninety nine percent

I don't agree with you on a lot of things, and you're entitled to your own opinion. Good on you for being a good sport though

That would concern me too OP, lying would have broken my trust to be honest.

I used to have a cleaner, she came recommended by a friend, I trusted her completely, she had a key, alarm code, never had any reason to not trust her. She never lied about everything and regularly gave me coins she had found when cleaning, I didn’t ask for DBS, that thought didn’t occur to me.

If it was me I would let a lying cleaner go. Liars don’t change in my experience, sounds like she is hiding something, may be innocent/embarrassment, may be not. Why don’t you ask her?

Maybe she was from Paisley - the town where they sell banners that read Happy 30th Granny.
Lovely

Get rid op.

What an odd thing to lie about.If you have doubts now op,no way can you have her in your house.

The trust is gone.

There's a little bit of presumption going on here. You're all presuming that she's a young mum. Might that be because she's 'just' a cleaner? If she was an engineer lying about her age would you presume the same?
It's just as possible that she has young children and doesn't want to be considered unreliable due to potential childcare issues.
OP, I would see how things go with her.

She has to be working for MI5, maybe check your place for bugs? She is a cleaner so trained in cleaning so the bugs I am speaking of are the listening ones not the insect ones

Remember walls have ears

I hired two cleaners in my life and they were useless at cleaning so if she's good at her job I really wouldn't worry about the white lie. Who knows what reasons she has for lying.

I'd not take a liar into my house.

You can go online and check her dbs

@Patchworkpatty

I am a fraud officer . The most common type of fraud is identity fraud with people with no leave to be in the UK buying identities... (Can I just say that I am a big proponent of asylum and am proud that our country offers this to people in fear of their lives) .. personally I would want to see this women's passport . To see that it has either leave to remain or is European ..

I'm fairly sure you can only demand to see passports etc to determine a person's right to work in the UK if you are the employer. The OP isn't the cleaner's employer, she is buying the cleaner's services.

Wow, some people here with serious trust issues. So lying about your age is an automatic conduit to criminal activity? Naturally suspicous? Paranoid more like. I would have to be on my knees starving before I worked for someone like you. No, in fact take that back, I would forage instead. Poor woman.

@BubblyBarbara

I assume you are not going to give the cleaner a blow job so it's not really relevant is it if you're going to keep a liar in your house I would get her to swear an oath not to steal from you or lie again to be sure.

Bollocks to that. This isn’t medieval Britain Barbara.

The lying isn't fantastic but she may be ashamed of her situation or thinks you may judge her for having her children young. Which in either case is really sad
However her age does not impact her ability to clean. As long as she does a good job, it doesn't matter if she's 32 or 62! Just let it go and enjoy having a cleaner.

@Chickychickydodah

You can go online and check her dbs

No you can't.

Unless she's registered for Update.

This thread is batshit. Reminds me of why I hate domestic cleaning back in the day.

Beautiful houses, batshit humans with trust issues. Just no thankyou.

I have had lots of cleaners. Trust is paramount. I would not hire someone who lied to me. I also ask to see passports or a drivers license so I know their name.