Cleaner lying about her age

[sausage133]

I'm going to acknowledge from the outset:
A) that the age of my cleaner and her children are none of my business - but the information was volunteered; and
B) that I've NC in case she and/or the friends I've mentioned this to are on mumsnet

After much discussion DH and I decided to get a cleaner recently. We wanted someone with DBS check and insurance, and picked someone with a recommendation on a local Facebook page who appeared to fit the bill.

It's not a conventional house so she came to have a look before providing a quote. My toddler pounced on her (not literally) at the door and I apologised - she said not to worry, she had two of her own, one of whom was a teenager. I must have looked surprised as she laughed and said she looked younger than she was but was 32.

All fine with quote etc and we made arrangements for her to come and do the deep clean. She seemed surprised I wanted to actually see the DBS and insurance docs but said she would send them through.

She sent through a DBS dated that day saying she hadn't realised it needed updating - I was going to accept that but then noticed the dob (part obscured) would make her 29. I didn't say anything at the time but asked for the insurance docs to be sent across along with a photograph of some photo ID. She sent those and the dob tallied with the DBS.

I was a bit concerned but wondered if she might have done it as, even with a 13 yr old, she must have had DC1 at 15/16 yo and perhaps had added a few years to hide that for some reason.

My mum met her on the day she came as we weren't in. They had a very brief discussion in which she told my mum that her oldest DC was due to start second school (this year or next, not sure - but either way not a teenager) and said she was 31. So not what she told me re either age, and not the truth at least re hers.

I wouldn't care how old she was but I'm a bit twitchy about the lies. She otherwise seems lovely and the house looks and smells great but would it be enough to stop you using her again? If not, would you ever mention it?

You can apply for a basic disclosure as a self employed person, or you can get a standard or enhanced one through various agencies.

@BubblyBarbara
Surely making her swear an oath is a bit redundant (as well as being totally ridiculous ) ? If she's a liar as you say the oath would be pretty meaningless no?

@Hopeisnotastrategy she has sent me a screen shot of a basic check on the gov.uk website which is happy is legitimate.

@ChaChaCha2012 totally accept that - just seems an odd thing to volunteer incorrect information - as opposed to just if asked the question?

@sharpeidiem how did I forget that was the end of that quote!? 😂

How do you get your own DBS check?

Through what channel has she obtained her DBS? Very unusual as a self employed person

Not in my profession. We all have disclosure as self-employed people.

[quote sausage133]@sharpeidiem how did I forget that was the end of that quote!? 😂[/quote]
And you thought you had problems

I'm kidding, of course. I vote you drop her a quick and polite message to see what she says. Or realistically, if you've not made any kind of arrangements you could just find a new cleaner (up to you). If there's anything sensitive around your job, I'd probably look for a new one, maybe through an agency. x

Maybe she raises two children and calls them both her children even though one or both are stepchildren or foster kids, because she doesn't differentiate between step and born. Perhaps you should ask her to bring along her childrens birth certificates?

 OMG, have you checked she's even married?

@BubblyBarbara

I assume you are not going to give the cleaner a blow job so it's not really relevant is it if you're going to keep a liar in your house I would get her to swear an oath not to steal from you or lie again to be sure.

i could swear on an oath /bible and still lie if i had to, a lot of people probably do even if they wouldn't admit it. op what is your gut feeling about it ?

I suspect it was because she was really young when she had DC, 15 when she was pregnant, possibly even younger. And I expect people look at her and make some sort of judgement every time. No harm in asking her why her dob is different from the age she gave you though.

Something doesn't ring true about the DBS check either. They usually take weeks. I'm not sure how she got hold of one dated that day,

I am a fraud officer . The most common type of fraud is identity fraud with people with no leave to be in the UK buying identities... (Can I just say that I am a big proponent of asylum and am proud that our country offers this to people in fear of their lives) .. personally I would want to see this women's passport . To see that it has either leave to remain or is European ..

I often get my own age wrong 😂 I’m not sure which birthday is next...

Just worked it out I’m a year older than I thought! Bummer.

I think you’re a bit overly concerned about her age.

I'd be wary to be honest. If she can do easily lie about that, what else could she lie about? Given she's in your home, I'd steer clear. I'd probably say why as well.

Just ask her. Say they don’t match.

Trust your senses. She has lied about a basic thing like this. So you have options of either asking her about it and finding out what is going on, ignoring it and always wondering, or get rid.
Seems only fair to ask her

Yeh I saw that comment on the bj thread but didn’t post. It was hilarious. 😂

As for this woman, she’s a recommendation, I’d let it go. It sounds as if she’s been judged her whole life. Who knows why she told you she has a teen but there are people, who have verbal diarrhoea, sounds like she may be one of them.

@ChaChaCha2012

You can apply for a basic disclosure as a self employed person, or you can get a standard or enhanced one through various agencies.

Partly right.

Self-employed people can apply for a Basic Disclosure on themselves. This is a statement of your current, unspent criminal cautions and convictions.

Whatever your employment status, you can only get a Standard or Enhanced Disclosure if the work you will be doing falls into the legally defined category of "regulated activity".

Cleaning in someone's house is not regulated activity. Cleaning in a court or police station - perhaps standard disclosure. Cleaning in a school/hospital - advanced disclosure.

Giving her the benefit of the doubt, you said you looked a bit surprised when she said she had a teenager and so she added a few years on if she was worried you'd disprove?
Equally, has a teenage step-child and her own child who is 11?

If she is lying for nefarious purposes, she's not very good at it if she's telling you one age and then happily giving you ID with a different DOB on

I'd be wary. I don't understand why she claimed to have a teenager if she doesn't!! That in itself makes the age discrepancy weird because if she was 29 with a teenager she was a young mum but less so if her eldest is 10/11.
Everyone is saying she was probably sick of judgement for being a young mum but she made that worse herself by saying she had a teenager!
I wouldn't care how young she had her DC but the lies would bother me. I'd be wondering if she even has children or made it up to look more of a family type, or if she is who she says she is.

Goodness, I would just let it go. I’ve lied about my age in the past to avoid questions! I never lie about anything else.

Something doesn't ring true about the DBS check either. They usually take weeks. I'm not sure how she got hold of one dated that day,

Agree, even my quck one took week or two

I’d think fraud.

Something doesn't ring true about the DBS check either. They usually take weeks. I'm not sure how she got hold of one dated that day

I've just had an enhanced dbs check and it only took a few days. Most standard ones are done within 24 hours now, even a couple of years ago though it would have been a couple of weeks.

To be honest op I think she's probably just absolutely sick of people judging her. People making assumptions about you is horrible and she may have wanted to get in there first to stop the inevitable "haha omg were you 14 when you had him" to which she may well have to say yes. People can be very judgemental and she might just be trying to avoid it. It doesn't necessarily mean she's dishonest or up to no good, I think if that's the case she wouldn't want you to have her ID, address & date of birth.

I've just had an enhanced dbs check and it only took a few days. Most standard ones are done within 24 hours now, even a couple of years ago though it would have been a couple of weeks

Even if that's the case, she clearly didn't have a DBS check, despite saying she did, and only got one when the OP asked to see it.